To not drive dc to school (yr7)

[HippyKayYay]

DC just started secondary. School is a 30min walk (from village into town, all on pavements). No bus option.

aibu to insist they walk to and from school, even though we could in theory drive them?

DH thinks we should drive them (for an easy life), I think they should walk (because it’s secondary ffs, it’s only half an hour). I don’t mind giving a lift in ‘exceptional circumstances’ (pouring rain, etc), but I don’t want it to be the norm/expectation.

We walked to primary, but it was 4 minutes away!

Edited to add: there is suspected adhd at play that can make getting organised and out in the mornings challenging/ stressful for DC. This is DH’s main rationale for driving them. But I think we need to help DC be better organised rather than driving them.

Lift there, walk home

30 minutes is fine, but I do pick my dd up because for example today she has 2 hours of PE, then netball practice and then this evening has swimming (5 times a week), so she's shattered and time restricted most days. She has HW to do in between. If she didn't do so many activities I'd make her walk for exercise,

i do lift there walk home. If there’s suspected ADHD at play for sure there’s an element of trying to help them get organised but also, my god, it’s exhausting, so a mixture would be nice? Some mornings lift? Other mornings walk?

That’s true. It’s just year 7 wouldn’t be that some point for me personally. Since the op asked, I answered.

What? You'd be taking 11 year olds to the park? When they are already at high school? That's insane.

There are lots of other ways to mitigate risk. But putting your chidlren in a bubble as they head into high school is not the answer.

OP, personally, I'd be lifting to school for at least these first few months while they're adjusting, particularly if you suspect ADHD. I know from experience that those first few months (years) is really hard with ADHD in the mix. DS is much better now - but he's in year 9. Let him walk home - it's less pressured, he can socialise etc. And over time, you can start getting him ready to walk there as well.

My sons school is a 40 minute walk, he gets a lift most mornings and walks home, if it's raining he'll get the bus home. The bus isn't reliable and only every hour so would either get him to school late or 40 minutes early.

make them walk.......

Walking is excellent for both physical and mental health. It's a brilliant start to the day and a great habit to get into, especially at that age.

Carry their school bags for 30- 60 minutes on the route they would take then decide!

Walk unless the weather is terrible.
Do they have friends to walk with?
Children would benefit the exercise, good for mental health & to wind down before and after school.
Independence.

No, I wouldn’t let an 11 year old hang round the park on their own. Maybe 13?

At 11 I’d let them walk to the shop and back if not too far and let them stay home alone for an hour or so. You can build independence steadily.

I really think all this is over the top. I was catching the bus into town on my own at 11. Infact I was pretty independent!

This^
at least for a start then I would move to driving only in a bad weather.

Drive them in the autumn / winter.
They can walk after Easter.

I would definitely say walk. 30 minutes isn't far. It's good exercise, better for the environment, reduces traffic congestion etc.

I'm another who would compromise.

Lift to school to support morning transitions and walk home afterwards.

Yes, I'd feel the same if on their own, I think walking is great but it depends on the route if their own, I live near a woods which is a short cut as there is no road, I've just collected my DD in year 9 as I'm WFH today and very heavy bag but when I swa this girl who looked pretty sad and kept looking down and was ambling into the woods I thought it was pretty careless of the parents as there is no way I'd let my year 9 DD do that on her own let alone an 11 year old! Luckily I saw two older walking couple coming along so hopefully they will be behind her. DD doesn't walk to school, I drop her on the way to work as I am driving past. Are you both home that you can drop there and back if necessary? I can't collect DD as working so she has to walk home but she's 13 and it is a busy route and often sees her 17 year old brother coming back from sixth form college. DD is skinny so doesn't worry me about weight. She does remind me that are walking around a big school all day and p.e so with the walk home I think that's healthy.

I walked half an hour each way to secondary school (and about the same to sixth form) - it's no big deal if the DC is averagely fit and healthy. It doesn't sound as if you have a huge amount to worry about traffic-wise either. I say keep doing what you're doing.

I'll drop / pick up Dts if pissing down, dark and gloomy or if they finish late for a club / rehearsal in winter. I WFH so can do the drop off if needed but the pick needs to fit with my work.

It's a 30 minute walk, there is a bus but with three large schools kicking out at the same time and a single decker bus it's quicker for them to walk.

It can take me 45 minutes round trip in the car in the morning.

Hardly 'insane' there are lots of different contextual factors to think about with parks as they are not the same level of safety all over the country and some in a city can be quite dangerous and others absolutely fine. 11 is young still and it is not wrapping them in a bubble it is being sensible and proportionate. My 17.5 year old goes to lots of different places on foot and the bus, much as sometimes I'd rather he rang me for a lift, he won't but he didn't have loads of freedom at 11 so it is not detrimental at all IME!

I’m also in the lift there, walk home ‘camp’ .

I used to walk to and from school by myself from Year 7 and I was tiny. My parents were both working full-time and couldn't have driven me even if they had wanted to.

At DD's high school the congestion is horrendous (despite a small catchment area). That in itself is a danger to children.

Everyone has different parameters. I was not allowed to walk far unaccompanied until I was at senior school, which for me was 13 by which time I was growing from the size of a child to more like adult size.

I’ve grown up to be fully independent with a significant degree of responsibility so I don’t have any fear that that was somehow hampering.

I do know someone who was sexually assaulted as an adolescent and to me the extra time to walk with them/petrol money is worth it for that gap until they hit the growth spurt and are closer to adult size physically.

I don’t think walking alone at 11 somehow makes you a total champion at the task in years to come vis a vis someone who learned a couple of years later.

My 6yr olds have a 20 minute walk to the bus stop for school. An 11yr year old not willing to walk 30 mins is ludicrous to me.

Sorry wrapping them up in cotton wool that should read.