To not drive dc to school (yr7)

[HippyKayYay]

DC just started secondary. School is a 30min walk (from village into town, all on pavements). No bus option.

aibu to insist they walk to and from school, even though we could in theory drive them?

DH thinks we should drive them (for an easy life), I think they should walk (because it’s secondary ffs, it’s only half an hour). I don’t mind giving a lift in ‘exceptional circumstances’ (pouring rain, etc), but I don’t want it to be the norm/expectation.

We walked to primary, but it was 4 minutes away!

Edited to add: there is suspected adhd at play that can make getting organised and out in the mornings challenging/ stressful for DC. This is DH’s main rationale for driving them. But I think we need to help DC be better organised rather than driving them.

Do you drive both ways? Our new Y7 child was keen to cycle (45 min walk, 15 mins cycle via pavements so not ideal) but has lost some confidence as September approached so we are dropping off and they walk home (although if it rains we could go and collect). I'd probably try weaning them into it like we are, 30 mins is a great walking time for secondary and perhaps it's been a bit of an overwhelming change? I should say it's my DH who is keen to give lifts whereas I wouldn't so they would be walking both ways if left to me!

I drive in the general direction of my teens school at the right time 2/3 x a week so I drop them along my way, and pick up 1 x a week because I'm passing back roughly the right time. Otherwise they walk, except in extreme weather. It's good for their independence, time keeping skills plus the benefits of the exercise.

Yes that’s exactly what I think.

Walk definitely. I would only consider cycling if it is an off road route or a fully enforced 20mph speed limit.

Made all mine walk in snow, rain and sun 🤣 25 mins up a steep hill.

It's good for them!

Only picked up if I was around, no chance with youngest as they've banned phones.

6??

Obviously I walk with them

We're only three days in! First day we gave a lift both ways (it was shitting it down with rain!), second day, lift there (more rain), walked home (we walked with them as they don't know the route yet). This morning was first morning of walking to school. It didn't go well!

DH is in the 'lift there, walk home' camp too, I should clarify. I'm in the walk both ways unless proper mitigating circs (shitting rain, needing to take in extra equipment that's awkward to carry, etc).

Oh sorry, thought you meant on their own. Yes, I used to walk an hour with mine when they were at junior and infant school but only with them and I had a buggy board for my young for the reception year 4 year old when DD was a newborn. I always drove them there though as had to get to work.

Thank goodness!

Yes the distance is fine; I walked a lot in the park/ country walks with toddlers even. It’s being unsupervised and exposed to … anyone … that’s the issue.

I should add that I don't think safety concerns are relevant here. It's a safe area, no walking through scary woods or anything like that!

Sorry if you've posted this but are they twins then so together?

No. One child

Sounds like they need a bit more support for now. But you can aim for them to become more independent as the year progresses (dropping half way after half term or Christmas, walking by the summer)

@HippyKayYay why didn't it go well?

I'm definitely in the walk both ways camp. 30mins is a perfectly reasonable walk for a fit 11yo unless it's pissing down. We should be getting out of the habit of using cars for short journeys such as this.
Are there other kids be can walk with?

Out of curiosity - do you regularly walk into town?

For us, it's a total no brainer and it would never occur to me to drive anything under 30 mins walk but I can see if your child is used to being driven everywhere, it might be different.

Oh sorry, I read the 'they' as plural.

YANBU

You are not a taxi service. Year 7 is old enough to encourage the kids to walk to school alone.

I would drive there and let him walk home as he can dawdle a bit with no consequences. In the morning it's all systems go so to save myself stress l would drop him.

Do any of his friends live along his route to school, so they can walk part of the way together?

Good point. No, we don't. If we with the DC, we drive in usually (mostly because we're going there for practical reasons, like doing the shop, or taking DC to a club after school). I think this has nailed the reason for why I feel like IABU, because I feel like I'm making them walk 'on principle', rather than because 'that's what we do'. But, to me, getting to school every day isn't the same as going into town once a week in the evening for a club that finishes at 8.30pm, or getting the food shopping!

Someone up thread asked me if I'd walk this distance to work. If I was doing this journey every day, I'd cycle (and push my bike up the steep bit). But I'm an adult not worried about looking cool and have a pannier bag on my bike. However, if it was raining or if I had a particularly heavy load to carry I'd probably ask DH to drop me off...

Yes, to me I don't think it has to be all it nothing. I suppose to me 11 seems young as my eldest is in sixth form. I am all for the walking and not the car but I suppose I would be worried about them walking on their own at that age and when they walked home I did worry about it and something happened locally to a girl this summer not after school but near a park luckily she got help by knocking on a door but I was very worried having a teen DD.

I think an hour a day is long walk for a 7 year old on top of a full day of school, if your child has loads of energy then it makes sense but if not it will be exhausting. I'm all for walking to and from school, but this seems a little long at such a young age.

@Skyrainlight yr7 is 11-12 year old in their first year of secondary school.

If I was a SAHP or had a part time job that allowed me to drop in the mornings I think I would do that. I get the expectation about walking but if you're free and available a lift would just make his life easier and nicer for very little effort on your part. However if you both have to work and are not free without affecting your commitment then fair enough he walks.