To chose holiday over baby?

[Thelittleenginethatcouldd]

posting for traffic, posted in chat too

I’ve got 2 lovely children, but since my second was born I’ve known I wanted a third.

we have the space (although would need to upsize in the future) and the car and the income about (120k a year) and some great state schools in the area, as well as very generously discounted nursery for instance FT with 15 hrs is about £550 a month. Our mortgage is small and will get smaller when rates drop (we’ve got a high fix). We pay the max into our pensions (about 15% each), save for the kids. Plenty of progression work wise.

BUT, I spent my entire twenties studying and then fell pregnant quite soon after getting married, and there are so many lovely places I’ve always wanted to visit and things to do.

we could afford to do one big holiday every year ( I shop around, maybe every other year if we went really big the year prior) BUT with another child it would be more like one every 3 years. Now I now this is not really a problem, but I’m so conflicted, and due to my age I just don’t really have the time to kick the can down the road. Has anyone else ever thought this? I can’t bring myself to part with any baby things or clothes and I know I yearn for another, but also I feel like there’s so many wonderful places that I’d love to take my kids and see myself (the Caribbean, California, Maldives, Canada, china, Japan etc)

I’m a penny and the bun person as well as a dreamer, anyone else stood where I’m standing now.

edit to say I’m 35

All children want on holiday is fun and water with their parent(s). They will not appreciate and remember long haul destinations. You could take them to a UK holiday park or UK camping and they'd still enjoy. It depends on how you want to portray yourself to others. If exotic holiday snaps of you and your family on social media are your thing, then you know what you should do. Giving your children a wider taste of holiday breaks such as UK and camping is also a good thing. My grandchildren are happy anywhere with their parents - in a sunny, hot location in a warm sea or playing in muddy campsite puddle.

I don’t have social media, photos are for memories. My driver for going to those places is that I (and dh) have always wanted to rather than making a kid tastic family holiday, naturally we’d go to places that are appropriate for them. Camping however is not my bag.

Not true! For example one of our holidays we toured round Northern Norway in a camper van - one of the visits to a Viking Museum in the Lofoten Islands just happened to coincide with his class learning about Vikings! He appreciated that far more than been sat in a tent in Scarborough (which we've also done) or making a model Viking Helmet. It was one of his most memorable holidays and I can hazard a guess who learned more about that subject. He's been to New Zealand, Australia, Alaska, many places and he can & does appreciate them.

None of these things were done to be broadcast on Social Media, but to offer him an alternative way of learning as opposed to being sat in a classroom. That isn't detrimental to his education and whilst-ever we're lucky enough to afford to do so, we'll continue to. It's unfair to take away the opportunity of experiencing different culture, foods, music etc for a child just because they might have to have a week away from a classroom.

You couldn't pay me to go camping! Absolutely hate it.

@JollyZebra

I'm sorry for my last post! I thought I was replying to a post on the thread about taking kids out of school!! Sorry

My friend said to me, when your finished having kids, you will know. After my first @32 I was very on the fence about a 2nd, wasn't sure and biological clock ticking etc.

We decided to try naturally for a year and see what happened, 5 months in I was pregnant. So now have a nearly 4yo and a 8month old and I am 36 and I know what my friend said now, I definitely know I am done having children, feel completely different. I personally after seeing a couple of friends struggle with IVF wasn't prepared to put my body through that when I was lucky enough to already have a child, if it hadn't of happened naturally for us, we would have just stuck with one and been happy.

You need to see what your husband wants, you can still go to all the places you want to go to, I personally don't think having a 3rd would impact your ability to do those things as I would wait till they were older anyway, and if waiting ten years say, whats 12 years?

@Mrssnee16

a lot of people hate caravan and camping holidays though.

cooped up in a caravan playing games whilst it pisses it down doesn’t sound much like a holiday to me!

@Beezknees

“ If exotic holiday snaps of you and your family on social media are your thing,”

yeah cos that’s the only reason people go on holidays abroad isn’t it, to post on instagram.

🙄

In your opinion. I completely disagree, personally. Caravans and camping in this climate are my idea of absolute hell.

Caravan I can live with but camping…. Hard pass

Hmm... I adore travel and have 3 dc.

Unfortunately it's not just the cost of an extra ticket, especially when they get older. Most
holidays are set up for families of 4.

To give you an example I was looking for some Winter Sun, and if I go on my own with the DC it's a bargain £2196 for week 4 star all inclusive...if DH decides to come it jumps up to £3288!

Then we needed a bigger car, trying to run around to 3 different after school activities, as well the more obvious day to day costs.

yeah If you’ve got a particular hotel In mind, with 5 you’ll pay for it, big time.

ive done some hunting and I’ve been able to find a few suitable alternatives within our budget for 5, slight compromises made of course

weve already got a 7 seater than can take 3 across, so the car doesn’t worry me too much.

Totally understamdable hence why i stated about personal preferences, its not for everyone. I was only making examples of holidays on the cheaper side if you were wanting to save for a bigger more glam holiday every few years or so 😊

Cheaper holidays abroad to fill the gap!!! Jeeez. Very jealous of you. Not one holiday every 3 years then.

No need to be, I’m a just an avid bargain hunter. I found a summer holiday 4 star self catering for 4 people in the canaries for £800 (flights and accom) just gotta be a bargain hunter lol

This example reflects the fact there is an extra adult going all inclusive(who is likely to consume more food, and alcohol), not an extra child (which usually does cost a bit more, just nowhere near as much more as taking another adult). It wouldn't be £2,196 for 2 adults 2 kids.

Your children don't need to go to the Seychelles! They'll be happy wherever you take them.

Isn’t it just!
me reading about taking toddlers to the Seychelles!! And how we are ‘just going to center parcs this year but they are excited’
the Seychelles I will never ever ever be able to go to.
I love center parcs and I’m not sure the next time we can afford to go there! Some people need to think what lucky problems they’ve got!

you want the third child just go for it! Travel later - my son loves a caravan holiday which is just as well becuase that’s all he can have at the moment

3 is much harder to holiday with accommodation wise once they are all above 5. Most places set for 2 adults and 2 kids.

To be clear, I’d not take toddlers to the Seychelles, it’s just a place I’d like to go at some point in my life and I’d like to take them. It’s just a place that’s on my list, like the carribean, California, Florida again, Disney cruise, Japan (that’s my goal for my 40th). These aren’t all at once or even next year.

Holiday. You already have 2, why is everyone so quick to tie themselves up financially with more kids? Those same people are also the ones complaining about not being able to financially support their kids, as if that wasn't an issue entirely of their own making.

If you like freedom and the ability to travel, have less kids. Simple

Having a child is a privilege and should take over your life if you are worried about holidays etc then don't do it, you don't HAVE to have loads of kids, lesser the better in my opinion, focus on the ones you have, give your baby stuff to charity.

And have £800 spare plus ancillary holiday costs 😂 If you can afford to plug gaps between big holidays with small ones you can probably afford a third kid to be fair!

Not sure if I’m the core demographic of people that claim they can’t afford their kids?

See I'm the opposite, I'd be ok with another child but can't face doing the pregnancy or baby bit again!