My brother and his girlfriend announced their pregnancy and my mum asked me in front of everyone if I was jealous *MNHQ adding CW for CSA*

[awown]

I knew my mum would do this. She has always accused me since I was a child if I was jealous of my brother. Like when he got his first job and birthdays etc

I'm not jealous at all. I'm very happy for them. She's always played games and made me out to be the family villain almost.

I have 3 kids of my own. I've never done any announcements etc, I've always just told everyone. And she kept looking at me and being very strange

Then came sat next to me and kept asking me loudly are you okay??? As in jealous

I'm down at the minute in general because I'm having health issues but that is all. I've not been myself in a while and she knew this I had told her this. I also asked her to keep this a secret and she announced that at everyone too whilst laughing about it.

I knew she'd do that and she's stirred it in the family saying I'm jealous.

I think I'm going to cut her off. She has always made me out to be a liar, over dramatic and jealous. I'm none of those things. I'm perfectly normal and a good sibling at that. I'm always encouraging and so happy for my family when something good happens.

She just uses me to stir drama. She did it growing up. She'd turn everyone against me.

She massively massively favours my brother he is her golden child. With my three children she was very unbothered. Even when they were born it was oh okay. With my brother she's happy crying all the time. Has photos of him as a baby on her phone and is extremely excited. She even made the comment I'll finally be a grandparent. I have three children. My grandparents also commented on her posts saying we will finally be great grandparents

My family couldn't make it more obvious they do not consider me a part of it or even like me. They have done this to me since I was a child. Even when I got into uni my grandad reaction was "you'll just quit like you do with everything". I was 17 I'd never quit anything before.

Then my mum creating the hatred towards me over being jealous because they are having a baby is crazy. I'm no longer with my partner so I'm assuming that's why she thinks I'd be jealous? I have no idea how I'd possibly be jealous when I have three wonderful children of my own?

Do I cut my family off?

If you haven't already had therapy you need to ask your gp to refer you for counselling. You've got the most toxic, dysfunctional family I've ever come across. Stop seeking validation from those that will never give it to you. Your mum is not your safe space. She isn't like a typical mum She simply isn't worthy of you. You deserve to be loved but you won't get it from the woman that birthed you or your grandparents. If you have 3 kids of your own focus all your energy there.

If you keep allowing them into your life you will damage yourself further. This isn't 'normal' family behaviour. It's about time you established boundaries.

You're mum is a massive cunt

This is reason enough to cut them out.

They're more than twits. They sanctioned sexual abuse. They treat the OP appallingly.

OP, I would go completely no contact with all of them. If you think your brother will pass on messages about you to them, then I'd cut him off, too.

Make these evil people part of your history not your future
Block every single one of them free yourself from their evil grip.
Seek counselling and enjoy life with your DC

When we got pregnant with our third child, which was after our second (daughter) was stillborn, we phoned MiL on speaker phone to let her know we were expecting a little boy and her first response was 'well when am I getting some granddaughters?'

She's been dead to me since. Please remove these people from your life they sound appalling

Your parents and grandparents are literal monsters. Of course you should cut them out of your lives! Why are you visiting these evil people at all? The stuff you’ve written about them is shocking. Please go NC for the sake of both yourself and your own children!

Hi OP, you have been on the receiving end of brutal , insensitive treatment. I am shocked at what you have said. This must be extremely emotionally damaging for you. I am not one to normally advocate NC but I can see why your situation warrants it. The whole situation is causing u so much hurt and grief with a rollercoaster of emotions. I hope you have good friends, I'm sure u have.
If u do decide to go NC with your family, I wouldn't recommend an announcement, I'd just cease contact. Wishing u strength and happiness, u so deserve it

Your mother and your grandparents do not deserve to have you and your family. You sister has forgiven, but you don't have to.

I'm genuinely shocked at how you've been treated throughout your childhood and adult life. You cannot spend the rest of your precious life expecting any change from them. No contact would be my reaction.

Oh lovely you have been through so much. Go NC with all of them and look at it as protecting your children from them, they will treat them the same.

Your mum is a bitch. Cutting her off will bring you so much peace. It can take years to get to the point where you are NC so in the meantime stick to discussing the weather and the storyline on Corrie.

Op please cut them out of your life.
Their behaviour is not normal, don’t allow your children around them.

To be honest oP, while they do sound horrible, I’m actually wondering what you’ve done as well. Is there anything you can think of? I mean saying you are overweight at size 6 is just odd and a bit hard to follow reading all this … Is there more backstory?

Edited to say I’ve read more of your posts now and I’m sorry I really can’t follow or make sense of their behaviour at all. I think sone counselling would really help for you to talk this all through with someone qualified.

You shouldn’t have to put up with such cruelty towards yourself but I especially agree with your concern to protect your own children from it! Go as low contact as you can and know that you don’t deserve all that hate :(

Your family are vile and you'd be better off without them in your life - and your children's lives. They have problems you can't fix, not sure anyone can by the sound of it. I'm sorry you've been through all this. It's horrible coming to terms with the knowledge that the people who should love you unconditionally just don't.

You were and are still treated horrible by your mother and grandparents. You say that your brother is the golden child. Perhaps in their opinion because he passes through their name to a next generation? Even if his last name similar to your fathers and not your mothers, it might be their reasoning. My grandparents on 1 side had the same reasoning. My sister and myself were deemed much less than my younger nephew. Funnily enough we carried their last name and he did not. My parents went nc with them. I only wished that they did earlier seen the pain caused. Never missed them as GP.

Your situation is more complex and horrible. What do you or your DC gain by having contact? Cannot be anything positive I assumed. Choose for you and your DC, dear OP

I'm so shocked at what you've been through. Of course you should block them, they are incredibly toxic. You should concentrate on you and your 3 children. Good luck.

Sorry for all you have been through op.

I wonder, did you go to your grandparents about what was happening to your sister before she went to the police?

Maybe they treat you the way they do to hide their own shame that they did nothing when you told them. So almost deflecting their responsibility by blaming you for telling them. Making themselves feel better for doing nothing.

Sounds like you being vocal about the abuse when you were a child and them doing nothing probably brings them shame.

They all sound vile and you should rightly cut them off. They are all horrible human beings for ignoring this abuse.

I also think that your mum and grandparents should even be reported to the police for ignoring it all and condoning it almost. You mum especially sounds complicit.

I would want to keep myself and my kids away from these toxic people.
Friends are the family we chose.
It would be a shame to cut off your brother if you do get on.
I make no wonder you feel down about this, try to heal yourself from this experience.

OP I really hope you're okay, this is absolutely shocking and you deserve so much more

Perhaps your grandparents did this to your mum? It sounds dysfunctional through generations. I would definitely go NC for your sake, and even more for your kids' sake. I get rarely say NC because most people are just being a bit over dramatic but this is terrible.

It sounds like your whole family is messed up rather than it being all your mothers doing.
I think going no contact may for the best, for your children's sake. It would be best to not expose them to it.

So you are number 2?

Did she get pregnant with you and then 'got stuck with him'? So effectively blames you for all the horrible stuff because if you haven't have been born she might have left him? Rather than take responsibility for being a negligent abuse enabling woman?

Yea, take a screenshot and when her ‘mum’ blames op for ‘being dramatic and leaving the family’ - as she will inevitably will - produce the screenshot. And this post

@awown yes you do.

It sounds very similar to my family.

My brother is 6 years older than me - he's the golden child.

My mother freely admits she never wanted a girl. I never fit in always the scapegoat. Vile things said about me constantly.

My dad tells people I died in a car crash.

I went no contact 5 years ago - with my entire family.

Best thing I ever did - like a weight lifted instantly

The advice I'd give alongside it though is - don't ask people about them and if people tell you things about them, stop them and say I don't want to know thanks.

So sorry you're going through this.