My brother and his girlfriend announced their pregnancy and my mum asked me in front of everyone if I was jealous *MNHQ adding CW for CSA*

[awown]

I knew my mum would do this. She has always accused me since I was a child if I was jealous of my brother. Like when he got his first job and birthdays etc

I'm not jealous at all. I'm very happy for them. She's always played games and made me out to be the family villain almost.

I have 3 kids of my own. I've never done any announcements etc, I've always just told everyone. And she kept looking at me and being very strange

Then came sat next to me and kept asking me loudly are you okay??? As in jealous

I'm down at the minute in general because I'm having health issues but that is all. I've not been myself in a while and she knew this I had told her this. I also asked her to keep this a secret and she announced that at everyone too whilst laughing about it.

I knew she'd do that and she's stirred it in the family saying I'm jealous.

I think I'm going to cut her off. She has always made me out to be a liar, over dramatic and jealous. I'm none of those things. I'm perfectly normal and a good sibling at that. I'm always encouraging and so happy for my family when something good happens.

She just uses me to stir drama. She did it growing up. She'd turn everyone against me.

She massively massively favours my brother he is her golden child. With my three children she was very unbothered. Even when they were born it was oh okay. With my brother she's happy crying all the time. Has photos of him as a baby on her phone and is extremely excited. She even made the comment I'll finally be a grandparent. I have three children. My grandparents also commented on her posts saying we will finally be great grandparents

My family couldn't make it more obvious they do not consider me a part of it or even like me. They have done this to me since I was a child. Even when I got into uni my grandad reaction was "you'll just quit like you do with everything". I was 17 I'd never quit anything before.

Then my mum creating the hatred towards me over being jealous because they are having a baby is crazy. I'm no longer with my partner so I'm assuming that's why she thinks I'd be jealous? I have no idea how I'd possibly be jealous when I have three wonderful children of my own?

Do I cut my family off?

Cut yourself loose, it will be very liberating.

Fucking hell, I'd leave the country to get away from this lot.

Heartbreaking thread. OP, you are so brave. I'd definitely lose ties with them. Make it clear to your brother why you are doing this. You sound like you'd be better off.

Drop them they are all losers playing a game with you. Cut them off. You sound lovely, it’s not you it’s them

They are horrible people, OP.

Echo this 1000% you deserve so much better

Extremely disturbing subsequent posts (I wish I hadn't read)

Your original AIBU is so underwhelming and insignificant compared to rest of your posts about this horrific family.

Yes you should absolutely go NC, and get a shit load of therapy for yourself.

Wow! That's really odd to make those comments when they're already GP/GGP. They sound thoroughly nasty and no one could blame you from distancing yourself from them.

Sending love, OP.

I am NC, I would just say, my brother and sister (who I tried to stay in touch with) became flying monkeys.

Cut them all off, but do explain to your brother why and then leve it to him to contact you, if he wishes.

I so understand the odd accusations. I was accused of doing precisely what everyone else did and I didnt. (ie Get a job, go to uni, live independently) Nobody came to my wedding, refused to meet my daughter. All while masquerading as a "naice" middle class family. You would NEVER know to look at them.

My father beat me frequently (only me) and my mother broke my nose. My brother is 50 and has never left home or had a job. He is revered.

Just go NC and never look back.

Just to add, I bet when your children are older, they will thank you for not allowing them to be a part of such a toxic environment.

Are you adopted ?

What an utter bitch, sorry OP.

They have normalised their toxic, abusive behaviour of you OP. They can all go to hell. Surround yourself with your DC and lovely friends and have nothing to do with the lot of them ever again. Free yourself and live your best life from now on. Huge hugs

I’m stealing ‘cock juggling thundercunts’. It’s magnificent !!

Cut all contact, block all numbers and don’t get in contact with them ever again. This will not get better and won’t end well , it’s better to be out of it.
wish your brother well, send a congrats card and a small gift when the time comes - just don’t mention your mum or grandparents again. What horrible people.

Go NC, after a while you'll see more clearly how vile your mum and grand parents are.
And remember you have absolutely no responsibility for their behaviour, you have done nothing to cause this and there is nothing wrong with you

I'm so angry and hurt on your behalf - you sound like a good person who does not need this hatred in her life. Your family is you and your children first, the others are not needed. Do you feel that you need affirmation that cutting off the others is the way to go? If so, you have it in spades on this thread. Enjoy your life and I wish you happiness and healing.

I'm another one wishing I hadn't read ...
the fact that you are questioning what you have done wrong says volumes. OP, I suspect you are very conditioned to accept your place in your family and all the abuse and toxic behaviour. Why else would you attempt to show off your child if not for validation and acceptance? Please, please stop all contact with your family, including siblings, and seek counselling for abuse and ptsd. A good counsellor will help you to disentangle from your family and build your self worth. Focus on your children and yourself.

OP cut them off. You don’t need these toxic twats in your life. Leave them behind. Be free.

Possibly because the existing grandchildren are the children of a daughter. Some cultures do not count the daughter's children as being part of their family. I find it very odd.

Yep. Fuck them all and go no contact. Life is short - live yours and be happy!

This.
They sound absolutely horrible xx

I think your family are completely toxic. You need to cut them off, and ignore them when you see them. Imagine they are dead and you are an orphan - much better than this shit show.

Honestly, I'd keep away from them all. Focus on your family and no-one else. They're all toxic, and bad for your mental health.

Yes cut her off as she’s a deeply damaged woman. I feel for you. She won’t like it and it maybe hard to have a relationship with other siblings if they are in contact. You need to look up “flying monkeys” - you owe her nothing. She doesn’t deserve you in her life.
Id also look up adult children of alcoholics and dysfunctional families. It may help you. 🌺🌺