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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To just be so, so fed up of where I live:(

247 replies

GenuineRocks · 07/09/2024 21:31

It wasn't so bad previously but really changed over the past 6 years or so. I grew up on a farm in on the edge of town and it felt like such a different world. Moved away after uni and only came back to assist when our parents were ill, and managed to get stuck here after.

It feels awful to see what was once a decent place go so much downhill. I don't even recognise the people, it is like another world, just so angry and loud and quite violent. What was once my closest town centre has become a drug infested hell hole, and the crime rate is climbing rapidly.

But what is most depressing is the vibe, everywhere outdoors is miserable, and I am not exaggerating. Constant sirens (only in the past few yrs) and police. Extremely loud, aggressive sounding vehicles, shouting and screaming in public, litter and shit everywhere.

I used to blame government for this kind of thing, policy, etc. But I don't know now. I see a growing culture of entitlement and selfishness all around. Maybe it's just this place? Of course the town centre died, like many have, but the trouble and violence that is visible is quite new here. It isn't all poverty, in fact it is a high rent area, and yet people really don't care.

I feel so depressed about this, yet know it is pointless. Life goes on and it isn't worth worrying about. Live and let live. But until we move, it has affected me to some extent, and even our own street has changed in the past few yrs.
It's like an alien place, that I don't recognise.
I long to be out of it, but reading some other posts I see this is common in many places.

I suppose it just got too much this past month, we have a new business opened in the street that revs all day, and how someone thought this was ok to go ahead I have no idea. Most of the original neighbours moved, and there is so much pet neglect , dog shit and litter here it feels hopeless.

Just fed up.

OP posts:
MountUnpleasant · 07/09/2024 21:44

You're right, there's a strong culture of carelessness everywhere. People not looking after their areas, being obnoxious and inconsiderate with noise, driving dangerously, a general feeling of anger around!

Peakypolly · 07/09/2024 21:48

Are you in the UK? It really sounds awful. I live over 3 addresses, one city, one (tourist) town and one large village and see the opposite to this.
The city has lively food/entertainment areas and is much safer than in the 90's. I am in an apartment there, and in the town, and my neighbours are friendly and look out for each other regarding deliveries, pet care etc.
In my village house I am constantly amazed at how flower displays and the beautiful knitted things on pillar boxes are untouched by teenagers and drunks, once again, I can't imagine my peers being as respectful when we were 15. There seems to be far more things happening in the community for all ages. Park runs, men's well-being breakfasts, walking and cycling clubs examples that didn't exist alongside the usual Cubs, Brownies, U3A and hobby clubs there have always been.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 07/09/2024 21:49

It doesn't sound great, but do you think your negative feelings about your own situation are making it all seem worse than it really is?

People have been thinking society is going to hell for thousands of years, and yet here we all still are.

Lola1974 · 07/09/2024 21:53

Do you still live on a farm then?

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 07/09/2024 22:03

Is there a reason why you can’t now move?

Where would you like to live, and is it feasible to move there?

alrightluv · 07/09/2024 22:09

I get what you're saying. There are still lots of decent people but more scroats nowadays.

Can you move?

KnickerlessParsons · 07/09/2024 22:10

People have been thinking society is going to hell for thousands of years, and yet here we all still are.

This. The ancient Greeks wrote about the fecklessness of the young and how society was going to hell in a handcart. 'Twas ever thus.

GenuineRocks · 07/09/2024 23:13

So this is just normal then, and i need to 'leather up'? Grin

OP posts:
GenuineRocks · 07/09/2024 23:23

Peakypolly · 07/09/2024 21:48

Are you in the UK? It really sounds awful. I live over 3 addresses, one city, one (tourist) town and one large village and see the opposite to this.
The city has lively food/entertainment areas and is much safer than in the 90's. I am in an apartment there, and in the town, and my neighbours are friendly and look out for each other regarding deliveries, pet care etc.
In my village house I am constantly amazed at how flower displays and the beautiful knitted things on pillar boxes are untouched by teenagers and drunks, once again, I can't imagine my peers being as respectful when we were 15. There seems to be far more things happening in the community for all ages. Park runs, men's well-being breakfasts, walking and cycling clubs examples that didn't exist alongside the usual Cubs, Brownies, U3A and hobby clubs there have always been.

lol

OP posts:
GenuineRocks · 07/09/2024 23:23

mens well being breakfasts

OP posts:
StarDolphins · 07/09/2024 23:34

TheYearOfSmallThings · 07/09/2024 21:49

It doesn't sound great, but do you think your negative feelings about your own situation are making it all seem worse than it really is?

People have been thinking society is going to hell for thousands of years, and yet here we all still are.

People have been thinking society is going to hell for thousands of years, and yet here we all still are.

Goodness me, op’s (& many others that have noticed) concerns are valid & society has gone very downhill in recent years. Dismissing it as ‘oh well, people have always said this’ doesn’t make it better. Just let people have their opinions & concerns.

MSLRT · 07/09/2024 23:34

Depressing isn’t it? I know what you mean. People don’t seem to have any pride in where they live any more.

StarDolphins · 07/09/2024 23:35

I agree op, it’s changed dramatically fast within a short period of time. Absolutely everyone I speak to & know have noticed it.

GoldenLyonel · 07/09/2024 23:38

I noticed a big change after the Covid lockdown era.

Grumpy12345 · 07/09/2024 23:47

I agree OP and it’s the same where I live. I think people have just become more selfish and entitled generally.

GenuineRocks · 07/09/2024 23:49

but who are they and why???

OP posts:
RosyappleA · 07/09/2024 23:51

I don’t think it is normal OP but what we have been forced to accept is normal. There has been a lot of change obviously following the pandemic and the struggling economy. Of course people are angry when everything costs twice as much and our wages haven’t increased really since 2008 and a big % of us are living in poverty (33% of kids so plenty of stressed parents). There isn’t enough public spending etc. now and even when things improve our prices won’t go down because we will just be used to the new normal of paying more, someone will just make more profit. Look at the bonuses of the supermarket bosses. I appreciate this is not just a UK issue. However, the richest 1% of the population in the UK takes 20% of the national income today. This is pre-WW1 level of inequality (note: not poverty). Housing market issues not being addressed etc etc. Things have worsened and are about to get worse still, energy prices rising again and savings interest decreasing show things are not great!

WhereIsBebèsChambre · 07/09/2024 23:51

Yanbu it's the huge entitledness of.people these days "how fucking dare you expect me to spend my benefits on rent and food?!!! You gonna leave my child to starve now?'

GenuineRocks · 07/09/2024 23:59

yes, i despise the tories but there is definitely something wrong that is outside of politics.

OP posts:
sarahzbaker · 08/09/2024 00:12

Yeah - don't become despondent. There are lovely people out there.
Going grr at everyone. Actually on second thoughts, why not sometimes heeeee.
Hmm but anyway. Try and chat and smile, even in Hackney it works.
You'd be surprised at how many people melt
I'm a Grinch but try to connect, although there are some who are utter poo
But you have to put yourself out there a little bit

GenuineRocks · 08/09/2024 00:20

nope. this isnt a friendly place.

OP posts:
Traceysgoingtobelivid · 08/09/2024 00:21

The slippery slope started when ‘austerity’ measures came in after bailing the banks out, councils suddenly had less money, roads were not swept regularly, verges left uncut for years, pot holes everywhere, parks not maintained suddenly our once previous ‘Keep Britain tidy’ country became an unkempt uncared for shithole and it’s just got worse since then with this attitude moving into the general populace, tie this in with online shopping and the demise of the town centre and I think it will be a never ending downward spiral with attitudes to match.

Peachy2005 · 08/09/2024 00:52

@GenuineRocks you need to move to wherever @Peakypolly lives 😉

2kah · 08/09/2024 00:57

I don’t think we can hold any government to account over dog shit. People who leave it are selfish - they couldn’t care less who steps in it.

SSpratt · 08/09/2024 02:36

Having moved about a bit you get to know that some places are worse than others. I know you said you are stuck where you are, but I assume that you’re not stuck indefinitely? I would start looking at options and plans to move.