To just be so, so fed up of where I live:(

[GenuineRocks]

It wasn't so bad previously but really changed over the past 6 years or so. I grew up on a farm in on the edge of town and it felt like such a different world. Moved away after uni and only came back to assist when our parents were ill, and managed to get stuck here after.

It feels awful to see what was once a decent place go so much downhill. I don't even recognise the people, it is like another world, just so angry and loud and quite violent. What was once my closest town centre has become a drug infested hell hole, and the crime rate is climbing rapidly.

But what is most depressing is the vibe, everywhere outdoors is miserable, and I am not exaggerating. Constant sirens (only in the past few yrs) and police. Extremely loud, aggressive sounding vehicles, shouting and screaming in public, litter and shit everywhere.

I used to blame government for this kind of thing, policy, etc. But I don't know now. I see a growing culture of entitlement and selfishness all around. Maybe it's just this place? Of course the town centre died, like many have, but the trouble and violence that is visible is quite new here. It isn't all poverty, in fact it is a high rent area, and yet people really don't care.

I feel so depressed about this, yet know it is pointless. Life goes on and it isn't worth worrying about. Live and let live. But until we move, it has affected me to some extent, and even our own street has changed in the past few yrs.
It's like an alien place, that I don't recognise.
I long to be out of it, but reading some other posts I see this is common in many places.

I suppose it just got too much this past month, we have a new business opened in the street that revs all day, and how someone thought this was ok to go ahead I have no idea. Most of the original neighbours moved, and there is so much pet neglect , dog shit and litter here it feels hopeless.

Just fed up.

I agree with this!

Everything was done to protect the banks and now it is happening again. It’s said that “young people” don’t want to renovate old tatty properties any more and make the effort to do them up, but in reality it’s the banks who aren’t prepared to lend the money to make this possible.

Is this sort of thing common in the UK?
I'm not in the UK so I really have no idea. It sounds horrific, almost like you're describing the projects in a large American city, minus the guns.
Have you done any research on safer areas? Surely there are some?

I live over 3 addresses...

Hear yourself. I beg!

A you a green party councillor?

You should be delighted by that, OP. 🤣

No, I think something has changed op in that there’s a lot of on-line rhetoric about “selfish boomers” and there’s no respect for older people any more. But what do we expect when we have left a section of society so severely under-resourced with virtually no future prospects ahead of them? They have no reason to feel invested in where they live because they feel disenfranchised.

Even more middle class prosperous young people feel bleak about their housing prospects and the future of the planet.

I’m not saying that destructive neglectful behaviour is right, it absolutely is not, and makes life so miserable for people like yourself who care about where they live. Your op is really upsetting to read actually.

We now know in retrospect that austerity measures were, very cynically, applied unevenly and the upshot of that is, as evidenced by this thread, that people in more middle class areas “can’t understand what all the fuss is about”. It was a hideously divisive policy that meant the poorest people took the biggest hit.

You say in your op though that poverty isn’t at the root of this? So what is? Imho, when a country’s government can’t get it together enough to provide a reasonable health service, decent public transport at a fair price, look after its elderly and disabled, and provide clean water, high quality free education, affordable childcare and housing, and adequately resourced policing, as is the case in many other EU countries, and people have to work very long hours to make ends meet, then they stop caring themselves about their own communities because the problems seem too far too big and they don’t have the leisure time to worry about it or contribute.

It's the same where we live.our south coast town was quite smart ,and had a reputation for being quiet and select.no more. The centre has lost several shops and businesses. Homeless people every where ,no pride in the town. Rarely visit now .seems the same in lots of places all over the country

Austerity coupled with late-stage capitalism.

Add to that the internet, in particular social media, which thrives on creating very, very particular wants in people through targeted advertising. We feel we need all these things our little pocket friend believes we should have - to the point we’ll get into debt to have them, and feel angry when we can’t.

Algorithms have put us all in our own little echo chambers, which means it’s hard for us to empathise with others’ viewpoints or even notice they exist, so fixated are we on our magic screens. This isn’t our fault - we’re there because Big Tech employs neuroscientists to keep us addicted, so they can advertise even more stuff to us.

And then there’s the desensitisation caused by the horrendously violent and degrading content people are exposed to from childhood onwards. How can we be open and empathetic and responsive when we’ve grown up witnessing beheadings and car crashes and violent porn via the magic screen in our pockets? How can the world feel like a safe place?

Then we have our PM, who seems to be approaching all these problems with a ‘don’t blame me, it’s all their fault’ whiny attitude. I’m not saying he’s wrong, but Jesus Christ, a little positivity and a can-do attitude might help a bit, instead of endless bloody whining and finger-pointing. Find some money to fix a few pot-holes, for example. Let people see that someone, somewhere gives a fuck about how they’re living.

I wonder if some people don't feel they have power or control over their lives and this spills over into their behaviour.
Quite a few people here have spoken about the loss of high street shops. Not in any way saying this will solve all your town's problems but we should all support our local high street. Even if it means paying a bit more. When the last shops disappear, we'll be buying everything online via Amazon or eBay and that is a high price indeed.

If people come to stay we dont take them to our town centre anymore. We avoid it.

Yes to all the not cutting grass and verge in the interest of "the environment" but instead it just is cost cutting and literally weedy.

And a huge yes to cost of living. We are fairly low compared to mn and I increased my hoist his year. We struggling every month as its been eaten by hikes in food, electricity etc.

Genuinely worried next year when my mortgage goes up and we've not worried like this before.

We're just above the threshold for benefits so I imagine it must be quite difficult when benefits haven't gone up St the same pace too.

Because only people on benefits are rude, entitled and aggressive?

Ugh, it sounds awful and really depressing. I would do everything I could to move. I would make it a priority. You don't want to live like that.

Laughing at men’s wellbeing breakfasts? You sound just as unpleasant as the area you describe.

You do sound miserable OP. I bet if you say where it is other people who live here will be amazed.
Nowhere in the UK is as bad as that surely? You’re projecting your feelings.

No, none of these excuse the disgusting behaviour and attitudes of some people. I am fed up of people trying to blame everything and everyone else other than the individuals involved. The absolute scum (and that's what they are) that drop litter and make people's lives hell due to their antisocial behaviour are not doing this because interest rates on savings have declined or because supermarket bosses get big bonuses. They don't care about anyone or anything else and feel entitled to behave however they like. We need to call this out for what it is otherwise we will never be able to address it.

That would be the place known as “LaLaLand”.

Yesterday I visited a town that I used to go to often as a child as we had friends there. I was shocked at the decline, the town centre was grim. It was dirty, uncared for , loads of empty former shops in run down buildings. The shops that still existed weren’t great. Maybe we were in the wrong part and there were other nice parts but what we saw was depressing as hell.

There are parts of the UK that desperately need some investment, you sound like you live in one of those areas. Move if you can.

What is a "men's well-being breakfast" please?

Here we go with the demonising of people in receipt of benefits.

But what is a men's well-being breakfast?

"Nowhere in the Uk is as bad as that, surely?" Are you living in a bubble?

I live in the SE in a town with a poor reputation. I still find 99% of people are decent. We do have some issues with poor behaviour by a certain demographic but it’s countered by voluntary groups.
I have lived abroad and it is striking how uncouth British people can be. The death of shame! I just ignore them though and enjoy the lovely side of the UK. That’s why I suspect much of OP’s feelings are about her own state of mind.
I actually went to a town that is supposed to be the UK’s most deprived and walked around. It was fine. People were so friendly. The council was obviously trying.

Completely agree with you OP. I live in what was generally considered a lovely town but it has gone massively downhill. I have to get myself out into nature as much as I can as it is the only way of feeling positive and recognising there is still much that is beautiful outside the dirty, congested, crime-ridden, intimidating urban sprawl. I worry for the future.

Places change over time, some go downhill others end up improving. One place going down doesn't mean it's same everywhere.

Fewer people own their homes so everything is always someone else’s problem.

My parents bought a house for 18k that they sold for £180k 10 YEARS later - young people are pissing in the wind so just have given up since they have no stake in their communities.

I expect many of those on benefits would have been home owners if this was the 80s or 90s. Greedy landlords and immigration hasn’t helped with this.