To just be so, so fed up of where I live:(

[GenuineRocks]

It wasn't so bad previously but really changed over the past 6 years or so. I grew up on a farm in on the edge of town and it felt like such a different world. Moved away after uni and only came back to assist when our parents were ill, and managed to get stuck here after.

It feels awful to see what was once a decent place go so much downhill. I don't even recognise the people, it is like another world, just so angry and loud and quite violent. What was once my closest town centre has become a drug infested hell hole, and the crime rate is climbing rapidly.

But what is most depressing is the vibe, everywhere outdoors is miserable, and I am not exaggerating. Constant sirens (only in the past few yrs) and police. Extremely loud, aggressive sounding vehicles, shouting and screaming in public, litter and shit everywhere.

I used to blame government for this kind of thing, policy, etc. But I don't know now. I see a growing culture of entitlement and selfishness all around. Maybe it's just this place? Of course the town centre died, like many have, but the trouble and violence that is visible is quite new here. It isn't all poverty, in fact it is a high rent area, and yet people really don't care.

I feel so depressed about this, yet know it is pointless. Life goes on and it isn't worth worrying about. Live and let live. But until we move, it has affected me to some extent, and even our own street has changed in the past few yrs.
It's like an alien place, that I don't recognise.
I long to be out of it, but reading some other posts I see this is common in many places.

I suppose it just got too much this past month, we have a new business opened in the street that revs all day, and how someone thought this was ok to go ahead I have no idea. Most of the original neighbours moved, and there is so much pet neglect , dog shit and litter here it feels hopeless.

Just fed up.

Three homes? Wow.

@Lwrenn I agree with you. People don’t respect the elderly or anything that represents elders anymore. It starts with the obnoxious language such as boomers and filters into behaviour.

I feel the same op.

I have lived my entire 51 years in (what was) a lovely rural village, 5 miles from one of the UK's oldest towns, which was also a lovely place to frequent when growing up.

It really was a wonderful place to grow up but over recent years the town was given city status and the place is now a shit hole. I was speaking to a paramedic the other day who also grew up here and he told me every day he's on duty he wants to cry for the town he once loved, it's a total mess. People are rude, angry, violent and don't give a crap about others or their environment.

Our lovely and once peaceful village has seen 3 large estates built on it over the last 4-5 years (as have most of the surrounding villages). The quiet rural feel has now gone sadly. People now speed through the village, the council flats which were once only given to pensioners who kept their gardens immaculate now an over grown mess with some leaving old furniture and crap littered outside and the stench of weed coming from the open windows is stomach churning but the residents don't give a crap.

I'm sure our village and town aren't the only ones affected although we have a caravan and travel the UK a lot, there are some lovely places which seems to have avoided this.

@AgnesX Here we go a prime example. The poster had posted their experience. AgnesX has no idea about their life or their work but chooses to make a shitty comment. It’s also the ten second attention span creating hostile attitudes that slowly bleed into real life. And the me me me attitude.

OP, my dad's nearest town is like this, it's really depressing. Lack of investment is a huge factor his LA is bankrupt and there is no sense of community.

Yep, I lost any sympathy I had when the OP sneered at that.

I live close to a city that has gone the exact way you describe OP. I've been ill for a long time but am gradually getting my health back and went to the city for the first time for a long time this week just gone. I am shocked at the state of the place and on top of the way people are now, I am going to sell up as soon as is practical and move.

I have no idea where yet. Somewhere with a sense of community. I know it's like looking for a the holy grail but I have to come up with something. Failing that, I will live in a camper and travel until I find that place.

When is there ever?

That's your interpretation of " wow" ? Your response is equally a prime example of of the 10 second attention span.

I remember it being bad when I was a child, always dodging it but then it seemed to get better for a while and poop scoops and bags started appearing. Now it's getting worse again.

Oh I do think it’s the parents role. Absolutely! It should be a team effort between parent and school ideally, backing each other up.

But as a teacher you will know that some parents are unable to care for their dc properly whether that’s down to drink, drugs, extreme poverty, abusive relationships, ill health, disability or other issues. And that’s where the school stepping in at a time when a child or adolescent naturally thinks of themselves is quite helpful.

I am a strong believer that respect and kindness can and need to be taught. Whether that’s by direct methods or setting an example.

I am so fed up with where I live and wish I could afford to move. The environment I live in makes me depressed and stresses out my daughter who has ASD.

When I bought my house 10 years ago the street was ok but it has rapidly deteriorated in the last 3/4 years. Anyone who could afford it has moved to a nicer part of time. I am now surrounded by HMOs with tenants whose landlords don’t seem to give a shit about how they treat the house or area. There is litter everywhere, people congregate at the front of the houses. Drug dealing goes on in broad daylight and the street is littered with whip cans.

I try and talk to my neighbours and create some community but most can’t understand me and don’t seem interested. I know I will get flamed for this but it’s hard living next to people who you can’t communicate with and who don’t seem to have any interest in making their street a nice place to live.

OP you lost me at your "lol" comment, at people trying to do good things for society. Try taking a leaf out of their book and see how you can contribute to your neighbourhood. I volunteer 2 days a week, and am developing new skills to hopefully help others further, in the future,for example.

Drugs becoming more common, people used to experiment with them when young now they seem more acceptable so the trade is much bigger and that brings crime always. Anyone that takes them is supporting organised crime but they won’t see themselves in the same category as a shoplifting crackhead if they’re a nice professional who just does a bit of coke at social events.

Read about broken windows theory you may be interested in that.

So you get kids whose parents are ok for them to ride electric scooters and just neglect their kids. You know the sort who Bally up and terrorise people by bombing about, anti social and may do some crime. Then at the other end you get the gentle parenting lot whose kids can do what they like because it’s all be kind and don’t bridle them with rules and regulations. Very different demographics but none given boundaries.

@SotiredIcanttthinkstraight last paragraph is very true. My Grandmother was ex airforce and she would happily chastise poor behaviour anywhere. These days she would probably worry she would get stabbed in some places.

Full of great ideas- well done. I really believe community action as described can make a huge difference.

Many people are time poor now, spend less time at home because everyone is working or in childcare and money issues cause stress. The sense of community is vanishing because people are home such a short amount of time they don’t see each other so much.
We also have more youngsters needing to rent rather than buy which means a transient population. Part of the point of council housing, in the beginning, was to give stable housing so people could take pride in their areas and build communities rather than moving constantly and not knowing eachother.

Perhaps OP is low and doesn't have the energy and resilience needed.

Actually it is the tories thing underfunding of police we lost 21000 police they say they put some back but not te same yiu lost police that knew community which means that scrotes can pretty much Wreck society without being arrested and they know it and in New York. If you remember they once had a smashed windows principle which meant any small crime, they would come and help because they understood that small crime led to bigger crime. So small stuff like litter vandalism leads ro bigger stuff and then they go about being menaces.
That with Yes, we as a society have become quite selfish but also that is because of politics as well. Leading everybody to believe of me. Me me ever since thatcher broke communities and possibly because I think parents don't discipline the kids enough. In my local Facebook if you dare to say maybe such and such shouldn't be making massive holes in the park think size of a grave you get well the kids wanna play abd do bike stunts which yeah is OK but then an old lady falls in said hole . Some Parents give teachers etc grief if they dare say oh Johnny I'd naughty any way u get my drift

@RosyappleA people behaving like animals -> blame the rich, right? No personal responsability.

the richest 1% of the population in the UK takes 20% of the national income and you conveniently forget to say that they also contribute 30% of the income tax.

This is so true! We have some of the longest working hours in Europe!

I think a lot of this is down to exhaustion and the way we work now. Growing up we were poor but my mum was able to stay at home and when she did start working it was part time so she could pick us up from school. Most of my parents mums were the same. Kids were being kept an eye on, taught manners etc and parents had more mental capacity for keeping on top of it. We also had someone to talk to if we were struggling at school.

Now a lot of the time both parents need to work full time to make ends meet, they are too exhausted to deal with kids behaviour the way the might like to. They are walking around town looking and feeling miserable, their kids are miserable and bored and causing trouble. People in their early adult life are miserable because they often are either living with their parents or in HMO's with strangers. People are lonely, partly because of social media but also because when do they have time? I think it also results in when people do go out they have massive blow outs, plus drinking brings out all the feelings they have been suppressing so fighting, aggression. There doesn't seem to be the same sort of 'cheap and cheerful' places to go more frequently anymore.

Another poster mentioned about the high street dying above. I work in a city centre now so I can pop in on my lunch breaks but in my previous job I could go months without going into town because I was at work the whole time the shops were open during the week and was so drained on the weekend it would be the last thing I want to do. Plus shopping takes money, usually more money than buying things online. I haven't had spare money for a long time now. People joke about millennials spending all their money on coffee but that's about all I'll ever spend it on in a desperate attempt to keep myself going and that's about once a week with a discount code.

Life is just is more miserable than it was. People being miserable = people being more unpleasant.

Absolutely. Millennial here. Renting SUCKS, and our parents bought houses in their early 20s for 50k or similar, had free university education, not to mention cheap rent and high wages before that. So much opportunity to build wealth, yet it's never enough for them so they became greedy landlords after being the great, socialist, protest generation. It's a huge disappointment that they've managed to be the first generation to lower quality of life for their children. What a legacy.

Nrtft, but if you can, move. We lived in a place where the sirens never stopped, people were often shouting, the area was.run down -massive potholes, rubbish, graffiti. Rude children, ruder adults. Constantly worrying if someone would break in, stuff was stolen from our car. It all became so exhausting.
We now live somewhere it's pretty silent at night. You can hear owls. Sirens are rare, the people.are polite and friendly. It's well looked, with groups if volunteers improving the area constantly. No more screaming matches on the street, no fears for my kids.
It's so much better, not everywhere has gone to.the dogs.

I think OP you should blame government policy as a contributor. Not only the things that are immediately evident such as lack of police, failing justice system and inequalities of income, but also the personal behaviour of many in the last few years of the Conservative government. Boris Johnson the main one, but by no means the only one. Of the remaining Conservative MPs, one in five so far have supported Robert Jenrick, just look at some of the things he has done which many people would call corrupt or entitled.

It's not just lower numbers of police either. A friend in the police has complained they can't use discretion anymore dealing with issues. Previously if you'd seen an argument in the street you could break it up, warn them if you see them again they'll be in trouble and send them off in opposite directions. Now they HAVE TO book it and spend a couple of hours doing paperwork about it. It's a waste of time that would be better spent dealing with more serious crimes and /or just breaking up more trouble in the streets.