To just be so, so fed up of where I live:(

[GenuineRocks]

It wasn't so bad previously but really changed over the past 6 years or so. I grew up on a farm in on the edge of town and it felt like such a different world. Moved away after uni and only came back to assist when our parents were ill, and managed to get stuck here after.

It feels awful to see what was once a decent place go so much downhill. I don't even recognise the people, it is like another world, just so angry and loud and quite violent. What was once my closest town centre has become a drug infested hell hole, and the crime rate is climbing rapidly.

But what is most depressing is the vibe, everywhere outdoors is miserable, and I am not exaggerating. Constant sirens (only in the past few yrs) and police. Extremely loud, aggressive sounding vehicles, shouting and screaming in public, litter and shit everywhere.

I used to blame government for this kind of thing, policy, etc. But I don't know now. I see a growing culture of entitlement and selfishness all around. Maybe it's just this place? Of course the town centre died, like many have, but the trouble and violence that is visible is quite new here. It isn't all poverty, in fact it is a high rent area, and yet people really don't care.

I feel so depressed about this, yet know it is pointless. Life goes on and it isn't worth worrying about. Live and let live. But until we move, it has affected me to some extent, and even our own street has changed in the past few yrs.
It's like an alien place, that I don't recognise.
I long to be out of it, but reading some other posts I see this is common in many places.

I suppose it just got too much this past month, we have a new business opened in the street that revs all day, and how someone thought this was ok to go ahead I have no idea. Most of the original neighbours moved, and there is so much pet neglect , dog shit and litter here it feels hopeless.

Just fed up.

If children see adults behaving badly they will copy.
Esp if it is their parents

I’ve noticed a decline in some local
town centres, not just the shops disappearing but a general air of decline places boarded up, dog shit left on pavements, litter being chucked on the floor. There seems to be more entitlement and less respect and kindness for others. Locally we have an annual carnival which I can remember visiting as a child and having an amazing day out. Apparently the most recent one was full of drunks and people fighting in the street.
where I live should be a lovely neighborhood but there are a select few that every now and then fall out with their neighbours but it always ends up with them all out shouting and screaming at each other in the street. Sometimes the police get called and sometimes they don’t. It’s just all a bit depressing.
if we could afford to move we would definitely move somewhere quieter

What is a "men's well-being breakfast" please? Someone in the community noticed there were far fewer men getting involved in the various activities and, considering the high rate of depression in men under 30, decided to set up these. It's held in the village hall. They have a speaker, maybe a sports person or anyone with an interesting story, food donated by a local cafe or pub and then the option to stay and chat. A neighbour says it has transformed her DS who was struggling with survivors guilt after two bouts of cancer. Apparently they are really well attended and 4 of the regulars did The Great North Run for a charity today.
I can see people's point about me living in LaLa Land but I can only say it is my lived experience. I am sorry that many MNetters are having a shit time.

I recently caught the segment on the Men's Club during the broadcast of the North Run. It looks like a fantastic initiative for supporting mental health, and I’m really impressed by the effort behind it. Huge congratulations to everyone involved in setting it up. Any program that aims to improve someone's life is truly commendable. Well done!

I agree. Easy enough for that poster to bang on about "what you choose to focus on", but OP's town sounds truly awful, and how are they supposed to focus on good things and ignore what is happening around them.

I'm not in the UK, and find it hard to believe some of the things I am reading on this thread about the derelict towns/cities - but I do believe it of course, no-one would make this stuff up. What on earth has happened? My rural small town is nothing at all like that. Of course there are issues, there are empty shops, potholes etc., but the town is kept tidy and clean and most of the inhabitants seem cheerful enough. Most people even pick up their dog poo!

What an utterly charmed life you live.

Of course, 98% of the population don't live like that so it's also utterly irrelevant.

99%? I'm not sure. I think more like 65?

I dunno its not good to be jealous I suppose. But a lot of people struggle through no fault of their own

Also just to add - I think there is a huge problem in a lot of parts of the UK with people living in the community with serious mental health and addiction issues without proper support. In my unremarkable and not especially rough London suburb we routinely have people wandering around near the station drunk during the day or clearly on drugs, or talking to themselves/yelling in an intimidating manner. I often wonder if an institutional setting would be better for some of these individuals who are clearly not coping and who are becoming a danger to themselves and probably others. I am sure austerity and the stripping back of NHS budgets has much to answer for, and the knock on effect for the state of town centres and neighbourhoods is obvious.
I do have a lot of sympathy as unfortunately I have a lot of family members with alcohol and various addiction issues. Since we are a large family and we aren't struggling financially we have been able to support relatives to an extent with their recovery (not always successfully, I might add). But for those who don't have relatives, or who have burned bridges, or who are in a financially precarious state, I find it terrifying how quickly a person can just fall off the bottom of society in the UK and can end up roaming around barefoot outside a station, off their face on booze or something else. If you fall out of the tree in Britain in 2024 there are not many branches to break your fall before you hit the bottom.

I think that accounts for some of it in my DPs town. There isn't the same need for it to be a commuter dormitory so some of the housing is being used to house high needs people in the community and there aren't the services to meet their needs. It's difficult, these people need homes like anyone else but these unmet needs are making the area feel like a worse place and people that can move away will.

You are right. Society is absolutely shit! X

We just have these lot running riot
Either on bikes like this or walking bully type dogs. Usually in balaclavas, gloves and hoodies

www.instagram.com/reel/C-prD5IMeVF/?igsh=MW44cWdzMHB6dnQydQ==

Yes I have noticed this too.
I think the political uncertainty in the last couple of years hasn't helped, along with all the doom and gloom in the news. I think many people are feeling depressed and worn down by it all and we aren't seeing light at the end of a very long tunnel.🤔

We're lucky, we live in an urban area which used to pretty rough (we didn't live there then) but now there's lots of new flats going up, new shops and so on. But people who have lived here longer say this has been promised since 1978, so it can take ages. Do you have to stay there? Have you any idea of where you would like to go?

Can you please clarify where you live? it's easier to get an idea, and we may get some more opinions from other people living in the area. You don't even give a hint of where you are, which makes it all very vague...

Absolutely. I agree with this 100 percent. I wonder what the future will look like, once the generations who were born and grew up with a screen in front of them are the only ones left...

There's a YouTube channel called "honest places" where a guy goes around British towns and cities looking to drink in their roughest pubs, but the videos have become almost like a documentary on urban decline in Britain. Really depressing and grim.

I can't shake the belief that Britain, and I'm sure other western countries, are entering into a second Dark Ages.

I was going to write a long post but your reply to this comment makes me feel its your own attitude that's a problem.

Yes, it’s the OP’s attitude that has made the town a shithole.
WTF?

No but somebody's attitude to where they live can be a problem. Just because someone is wondering where op is as that's not their experience and says there's men's well being breakfasts where she is doesn't deserve a 'lol' reply and a comment on the wellbeing breakfasts. If a decent place to live is lol maybe op has nice parts of her town and opportunities but they're clearly beneath her or just funny to her so she doesn't bother

We must be living in the same place. We thought we were moving to a nice place in the Valleys of south Wales, we soon experienced yobbish behaviour, dog shit outside the front door, police every 5 minutes racing to the drug dealers in the social housing opposite and filthy streets. Can't wait until we are able to move.

I stayed in a small cathedral city recently and was absolutely shocked at the levels of deprivation and anti social behaviour I saw. On paper, it should have been charming - Tudor buildings, surrounded by beautiful rural countryside, bordering a huge forest, gateway to the Cotswolds...But the reality was very different. The centre was a dump with homeless people/ druggies everywhere, people openly dealing in broad daylight, desperate people with poor m/h screaming on the streets, dodgy people following you, groups of working age men sat on the floor with no obvious place to go. It wasn't just the bordered up shops and dirty pavements strewn with litter, but the underlying menacing vibe and the depression and bleakness which pervaded everything. I couldn't wrap my head around what would have been a " desirable" area in years gone by, had slumped into such a shit hole.

It really is depressing

...and so many people think allowing hundreds of immigrants in each day is going to help.

To be fair, I think quite a few of us didn't know what a "men's wellbeing breakfast" was.

I initially thought it was some kind of middle class nonsense, but I have learned on this thread that it isn't nonsense, it's to do with mental health and isolation and I think it's a superb idea.

Agreed @SoTired12 we have a massive problem with newly arrived grown men just sitting on the street where I live smoking and hanging out with no purpose. I had a family sitting on my driveway and front steps a couple of days ago. They were much affronted when I told them to move. I hate it, it’s so intimidating to have people just hanging around all the time.

Well asylum seekers aren't allowed to work while they're being assessed so what exactly can they do apart from hang out? They can't sit in their bedrooms 24/7. As long as they're not engaging in criminal activity, I don't see the problem with just hanging around. Once they've been processed and if they're staying here, I'm sure they'll get jobs.
Obviously they shouldn't be hanging out on your driveway though!