Did women used to enjoy being catcalled?

[Gofastboatsmojito]

Hi,

Filtering a recent discussion with my stepmum I just wanted to survey the 55+ year olds of mumsnet to check whether I'm way off.

She is absolutely insistent that in her youth women (most? all?) enjoyed being whistled or shouted appreciatively at when waking past a building site.

She thinks women's perception of this has changed in the last 20 years. All her friends enjoyed it in the 70s and 80s apparently.

For context she has been the subject of male violence including sexual violence and does not equate the two.

I find it hard to believe everyone enjoyed it and assume that women felt a lot less able to say they didn't like it due to fear of being called frigid, uptight etc.

I'm sure the answer might lie somewhere between the two extremes but just wondering what an AIBU poll might say.

V grateful if women of age 55+ only vote

YABU = in my youth the majority of women I knew considered a wolf whistle as a cheeky but welcome compliment

YANBU = I didn't enjoy this even in the 70s

If I got whistled at I used to pretend to ignore it but secretly I was flattered .

Nope, I hated it. Especially as at age 10 I had 34b boobs and the catcalling started earlier. Trying to make yourself small is horrible and traumatic as a child.

No. I am 65 and the 70s were a horrible time for this. We were always told it was a compliment. Told to smile, told to laugh it off. The practise was widespread and socially acceptable.
Older women would sometimes say "just smile and he'll leave you alone". I think they were warning against escalation to aggression and assault.

I have to say I’m 42 and it used to make me smile. I’d blow them a kiss and carry on.
I will caveat that with I have low self esteem due to being bullied for my looks at secondary school, so probably don’t have the same reaction as the majority.

In my 40s but used to hate it. It would freak me out and make me feel like something was wrong with me.

I am 69 and I loathed and hated it and it definitely contributed to me feeling unsafe, and turned me into a shit hot feminist from the age of 15, which was 1970.
Those times and the overall behaviour of men in those times were/was awful. Lots of it not much better now, but at least the public discourse about it all has massively changed and such behaviour is seen for what it is and is no longer acceptable.
I guess your stepmother and I are very different and have led extremely different lives.

42 - honestly i didn’t mind. I would now though things have changed

UABU
Different times
I remember very well being wolf-whistled, and maybe it was the local area but I didn't feel threatened. Like At All
Whilst going out on the town if a group of blokes wolf whistled a group of us, we'd size them up, and if interested engage them in conversation . If not we'd just wave and carry on our way
Like I say different times

I used to want it as it confirmed I was attractive.Sad really age 16-25

I liked it. But my self esteem was so chronically low (beaten at home, significant bereavement) and I really felt the only thing that gave me any worth was having male attention

That's so sad 🌻

43 but yes. It didn't feel predatorial to me.
I felt flattered.

When I travelled, in Lima in Ecuador men would give you a polite round of applause for being young and female. That was odd! But also didn't feel predatorial to me.

My mum always saw it as a great compliment. But she is in her eighties.
I think as a teen and in my early twenties with very low self esteem, yes, I would have perceived it as flattering.
Hard to imagine now.

My grandma used to think it was a compliment and harmless, it's just what men do. (Would be 90)

My mum has openly said she misses the male gaze now she is getting older and definitely likes to feel attractive to men. (60)

I absolutely hate it and it makes my skin crawl when I see a man leering or staring at me. (33)

I'm 56 and I always hated it. It didn't matter what you looked like, or how old (young) you were - men on building sites saw you as fair game. It was embarrassing and annoying

I have friends who are 55+ who have told me it was “just what it was like”. I didn’t get the impression they enjoyed it but just that you were supposed to put up with it.

@heldinadream - we've had similar experiences. It turned me into a feminist when I was a teenager too ! Men were constantly intruding on us and our space, feeling ok about casual, everyday harassment.

I think we were socialised to think it was flattering and it was normal and if you didn’t like it there was something wrong with you.

My mum said it was horrible and that the view of a minority of women (eg one of her sisters) that it is somehow flattering or enjoyable is some weird, internalised sexist BS.

It reduced but didn’t stop for the next generations.

Embarrassing but a nice ego boost! And I am 34 so happened in my twenties. Never felt threatening or predatorial to me. Although I must say as I got older it started feeling weirder and weirder and I remember pretending to be on the phone or changing side of the road to avoid it.

I’m 60, never felt it as threatening - usually a compliment - however hated being pawed, groped or one on one letched over which was very common in education and the work place

You were.
I think back then there was also a fear of escalation, because of course you weren't believed and you would be blamed.

No. It wasn't the norm to enjoy it, whatsoever. Some women enjoyed it, but then some women would enjoy it now.

I’m 51. It always made me feel uncomfortable. Even today, I hate walking past builders despite the fact no one is ever going to catcall me again. Maybe it’s the (thought/knowledge?) that the men are still eyeing me up and deciding if I’m worthy?

walking past builders made me feel like I was really under the microscope. Hideous.

If you were in a group it could be amusing but if on your own it was intimidating. If you didn't laugh it could quickly turn aggressive. It happened to me a lot and I was very young. At 13 I had a local guy in his 30s following me around for years in his car. He would appear every so often. When I was 20 he said, 'I used to follow you around in my taxi, you loved it'. You were supposed to be grateful for the salacious stuff and offers of rape. Seriously it's very recent really.