Did women used to enjoy being catcalled?

[Gofastboatsmojito]

Hi,

Filtering a recent discussion with my stepmum I just wanted to survey the 55+ year olds of mumsnet to check whether I'm way off.

She is absolutely insistent that in her youth women (most? all?) enjoyed being whistled or shouted appreciatively at when waking past a building site.

She thinks women's perception of this has changed in the last 20 years. All her friends enjoyed it in the 70s and 80s apparently.

For context she has been the subject of male violence including sexual violence and does not equate the two.

I find it hard to believe everyone enjoyed it and assume that women felt a lot less able to say they didn't like it due to fear of being called frigid, uptight etc.

I'm sure the answer might lie somewhere between the two extremes but just wondering what an AIBU poll might say.

V grateful if women of age 55+ only vote

YABU = in my youth the majority of women I knew considered a wolf whistle as a cheeky but welcome compliment

YANBU = I didn't enjoy this even in the 70s

I’m 59 and always hated it; I was a sheltered teenager who didn’t wear makeup, went to an all girls school and didn’t know how to respond. Also hated “give us a smile, love”, which was probably commoner, since wolf whistling was pretty much confined to builders IME whereas “smile” could be anyone you walked past. I also hated the casual groping - fortunately it was never a workplace problem for me, but finding my driving instructor’s hand on my knee etc was always so embarrassing and difficult to deal with.

I still don’t wear makeup and now have long grey hair, and am fortunately now almost totally invisible, except that very occasionally people offer me seats on the tube. Not sure how sexism and ageism compare overall, though!

This. However they used to do it to any woman so if you weren't pretty or fat or got chatted up in the normal way it made you feel good to be noticed for just one moment (not aimed at pp btw).

I'm guessing the pretty or attractive (or big busted) women felt violated.
The less pretty or mousey women felt seen. And you weren't supposed to be seen as sexy in those days as you were supposed to be demure, boring and drab, ie mother/wife.

I also think it used to be just a whistle or a fairly innocent comment about someone looking nice so I can see why it was thought of as harmless. But at some point it changed to quite horrible and leering comments with crude and aggressive language, but we were supposed to still see it as complimentary

I remember feeling dread when approaching building sites. I'm only 38 but catcalling was 'the norm' when I was a teen / very young woman.

I'm 46, I didn't mind because TBH, it didn't happen to me very often - I was (and am) flat chested and had cropped short hair throughout my teens and 20s so your average wolf whistler didn't really see me as female, thank God. But even then I could imagine that it would feel very different and unpleasant if it were happening all the time.

This, it was awful and I used to walk a different route to avoid builders sites/ housing having work done. I remember is being particularly bad at approx 12/13.

Only ever happened to me as a school girl which is pretty sick really. It used to make me feel scared especially if I was on my own but I would have never admitted that at the time as it was seen by some as a compliment.
Really glad I'm old now and don't attract any attention from men whatsoever.

I absolutely hated it. I felt harassed and vulnerable, especially if i was alone.

I remember when I was in my 20s I had to pass a building site on my way to and from nursery (4 times each weekday!) and I ended up having to speak to the foreman and changing my route to a longer one as it got so bad. Please don't think I'm flattering myself, those blokes catcalled every young woman who passed by.

I used to walk a long, circuitous route to the tube station to avoid a building site. It was like walking the gauntlet, the whistling and the shouting. I was just trying to get to work.

I’m 59. Hated it. I had long blond hair and was tall. Yet I could go to a pub and not talk to any men as I have that face that says piss off. I would walk a different way to avoid building sites

I don’t think I enjoyed it that much but Ido remember some women being wistful when they got older and it didn’t happen any more.

I’m not over 55 but I remember my great aunt saying I’d miss it when it stopped. She heaved a great sigh of fond memory. Different times.

Im 61. My father severely damaged my confidence in my appearance and so, sadly, I would enjoy it if men paid attention, in whatever way. I played it up, really, would flirt back etc. It makes me a bit sad to think about it now.

@Ilovetuesdays - sort of cross post, my experience too. Also, you're not "flattering" yourself, because the experience wasn't about flattering or complimenting you.

Me too, I still hate walking past builders, even though it must have been 20 years or more since anyone called out at me!

I absolutely hated it and as a teenager back in the 60s would walk miles out of my way to avoid building sites etc. I think it was much worse then.

I'm 72 and I hated it.

As well as wolf whistles and crude approval it was also normal for the guys to shout stuff out that could be pretty uncomplimentary to passing women if they didn't like the look of them.
They felt entitled to judge every passing woman .

Nope. I’m 61. Never met a woman who was flattered by being cat called by some creepy builder. How sad is that to get validation from an invariably ugly, overweight bloke.
I used to tell them to fuck off.

i dont remember but i would have been embarrassed
i dont think it ever happened to me but it would have been flattering if embarrassing

Hated it.

I'm 42. Find it the same as "cheer up love!" Or "give us a smile".

Fucking annoying and they get told to fuck off.

i walked past builders recently and i was scared that the scaffolding would fall.
i shared a smile with a builder, that's all

i recall my stepdad would talk about waving at girls while driving a van

Same. At 18 on one occasion I remember walking down the road to go out with some friends, and was dressed up to the nines (not showing much flesh BTW) and admit to being flattered at being noticed and appreciated.

I think in some cases your stepmum was right.

I'm in my 40s and never minded it.

I still don't but unfortunately it happens a lot less these days now my youthful looks are on the way out!

I remember walking to school with my friend who had bright red hair. A man shouted out to her "do your pubes match, love?" We were 14.