Did women used to enjoy being catcalled?

[Gofastboatsmojito]

Hi,

Filtering a recent discussion with my stepmum I just wanted to survey the 55+ year olds of mumsnet to check whether I'm way off.

She is absolutely insistent that in her youth women (most? all?) enjoyed being whistled or shouted appreciatively at when waking past a building site.

She thinks women's perception of this has changed in the last 20 years. All her friends enjoyed it in the 70s and 80s apparently.

For context she has been the subject of male violence including sexual violence and does not equate the two.

I find it hard to believe everyone enjoyed it and assume that women felt a lot less able to say they didn't like it due to fear of being called frigid, uptight etc.

I'm sure the answer might lie somewhere between the two extremes but just wondering what an AIBU poll might say.

V grateful if women of age 55+ only vote

YABU = in my youth the majority of women I knew considered a wolf whistle as a cheeky but welcome compliment

YANBU = I didn't enjoy this even in the 70s

I've heard a lot of folk slightly older than me (I'm late 40s) say they enjoyed it, however I've also heard loads say they hated it and how it made them uncomfortable. I've never enjoyed it and had to endure it in the 90s as a student/young woman. Some older folk (often women) have suggested I don't like men doing it because I never got whistled at, which I find quite an odd way for one woman to insult another.

I hated it. I used to go out of my to avoid building sites and anywhere groups of men might congregate. I don’t believe any women found it flattering.

This

I got wolf whistled at the other day on my way into my office by a bunch of workmen outside. I told my colleagues about it in a kind of "aren't men disgusting? What did they think I was going to do, shag them on the pavement?" type of way.

But my colleague who is the same age as me (mid 40s) said she would be delighted and it would put a skip in her stride for the rest of the day if she got wolf whistled. I was quite surprised to be honest - but I think maybe it's down the the actual person rather than their age?

no i think it changed, society's attitude changed
feminism came and the rumour was that the wolf whistler would be slapped

Hated it, ignored it and then they would often shout abuse. When I got a bit older if they were a safe distance away they might get a finger if they were abusive. Yes I knew some girls/ women who liked it but a lot didnt.

I'm in my 60s now, but don’t remember it being that bad……certainly not worse than todays type of harassment.
I think that, as some others have said, there’s a far more sexually aggressive mode going on. But as the reference was to several decades ago our perceptions are different.

I absolutely hated it. I think I am neurodiverse (not diagnosed) and I was extremely self conscious anyway. That OTT attention from men when I was a young teen was horrible. My DD is diagnosed autistic and has severe anxiety and it would destroy her honestly if it happened now, so I am so relieved times have changed.

It didn't bother me at the time and I only ever responded with a cheery wave or smile. If it happened now, at 64, it would make my day.

Never really happened to me (mid fifties) apart from once or twice , and then felt secretly flattered. However, the builders in question did it in a fun, banter-ish way.

However, had the builders done it in a lewd, patronising way, I would have felt different. Mine was harmless fun, rather than sexual innuendo.

I am 54

i found it very intimidating at times as a young woman when gangs of men would be staring at you and whistling or yelling, couldn’t walk past a building site and if they were there for weeks i’d have to change my walk past

worse would be beeping their horn and yelling out of the car window

i appreciate that some women like it, but its not like these men would check first

I remember it as a schoolgirl, from much older men. I found it intimidating. It wasn’t something boys my age did, maybe then I’d have been flattered. When I encountered it was just scary because of the age and power imbalance and the awareness how quickly it could turn to insults for banter. You could be Wolf-whistled then joked about if you smiled like ‘only joking, munter!’. It had an undercurrent often

Wolf whistling I wouldn't have minded. It was the barking like a dog at me, the need for total strangers to pass comment on my (lack of) looks that depressed me.

And that's the problem. I would probably have loved a wolf whistle or catcall, because it would have been better than what I got, from my point of view, but actually looking back on it, all this stems from the basic principle that it was acceptable/appropriate to comment at all.

Our bodies/faces were fair game. If somebody liked it, fair enough, but for those of us who didn't, or who weren't getting the more 'appreciative' version it was just shit we had to deal with.

Hated it, ignored where possible. Was worse when they walked past you and thought nothing of grabbing your arse. I had bruises almost constantly from being pinched or grabbed. And if you objected you got abuse and told you should be flattered.

55. Hated it. I was and am quite plain and was then quite flat chested with short hair and it really brought home to me that it didn't matter who I was or how I presented, I was a young female and they could and would do what they liked to me. It's such a massive improvement in life that it doesn't happen any more.

But it's not about your looks is it? Not really. It's about men wanting to make women feel uncomfortable.

I don't like it or hate it

Honestly it was a mixture - the times I knew I looked good it felt nice (like a pp, I wasn't blessed with beauty) but the times men did it just because I was a woman in their vicinity, no.

55. I was flattered as a teenager, as had low self-esteem and got no attention from boys I knew.

As a grown woman I loathed it, would take long walks to avoid building sites. Did not miss it at all when it stopped!

I am 58.
And no, being objectified and commented on by brain dead uneducated apes whilst going about my life as a young woman was NEVER a complement.
Because I have self worth and never needed or looked for male validation.

It used to give me so much rage that if I could have avoided prison, I would actually have gone up and killed them because they were pointless life forms on this planet.

It use to just be a wolf whistle.
I would be a little embarrassed, ignored it but flattered.
I didn't engage with them.
Never saw it as predatory or frightening.

In our small High Street there are 3 barbers shops. I notice that young girls (Y9 +)
preening themselves as they walk past.

One shop in particular, the guys have a table and chairs outside and they sit there leering at the girls. They make comments in their own language about them.

I find it offensive but some young girls deliberately cross the road to walk past this shop.

62 here and I HATED it! Constantly being looked at by men and women. I even rang a chat show on LBC (Mike someone or other anyone remember him) to complain about ocular rape!
Now I’m invisible it is somewhat of a relief though I wouldn’t mind turning the odd head occasionally. Honestly it’s feast or famine.
Don’t despair if you are fed up with the attention, in a few years it will disappear. I think older women would have a great career as spies or shoplifters as nobody can see us haha

I did not enjoy it, never felt it was a compliment. I didn't like it, but never felt threatened by those men. It didn't cross my mind that they might be predators.

I was also told "it's just what men do." But it was never a good thing, just something women had to put up with.

I used to let it wash by me - I was neither flattered nor offended. It was just part of being a woman.

I'm 53 and yes I'd have liked it and been flattered, but I rarely ever got called or whistled at.