DH and best friends wedding

[Strawberrysaucee]

Hi,

my best friend of 20 years is getting married next week, I am a bridesmaid.

My DH is causing me stress - He has said in the last few days that he isn't going to come to the wedding.

I have asked why and he says he just doesn't want to and will not be forced.

I said he will have to tell the bride and groom himself that he isn't coming.

He is refusing to do this and has said he just will not turn up or I will have to come up with an excuse ie. no childcare or he isn't very well.

I don't understand why he is putting me in such an uncomfortable position...I would like for him to be there but he is saying why would you want me to be there when I will just be miserable.

My friend will loose money on his meal as they were 115 pound per person.

I will not lie for him though - I said I am not telling my best friend anything, you can contact her yourself.

Good for you OP.

They are so self confident in their superiority of you, they cannot believe that you would actually split up with them.

The begging and backtracking is all just a part of the script.
They tone it down for a while but inevitably come back even more vicious with anger that you dared to defy them.

Keep re reading this thread anytime you feel yourself feeling even slight sympathy towards him.
Think of your child, the least time they spend with him the better.
Don't trust him not to blame you for the break up. Pricks like him can never fully accept that they caused the position they find themselves in.

Good for you, OP. I hope you’re now revelling in the peace of mind and sense of freedom and possibility that comes once the turmoil of separation is over.

Once you’re at that stage and can truly see how living with a controlling man brought you nothing but stress, pressure and unhappiness, you never go back!

Good for you, I hope you’re very happy.

Absolutely the right decision. This self-centred narcissistic mindfuck of man would swallow you whole and complain he was still hungry.
A bottomless pit of self-absorption.

Ignore the crying and begging. You have to.

Well done OP!

Well done, OP. You've done the best thing for you and your little one.
The day after my ex husband and l split up (sold the marital home, both moved into our new ones) he turned up at my house at eight in the morning, crying, saying he was sorry.
Way too little too late. I'd had years of abuse and gaslighting. It's about them, what they want (looking after, basically) and not 'you' either personally or in the relationship. The penny drops that this is their doing, and you're not putting up with their crap any longer. And you're setting an example for your child's future, too.

I hope you can stay strong and have a new, happy life with your baby x

I love this @browneyes77 😂

@Strawberrysaucee im so happy for you. You will be so much happier without him.

i remember reaching this point too and ive never had a moment’s regret. You are well rid.

Well done OP. 💐

Hang in there, getting shot of him is the best thing that could have happened. I'm so sorry he's being such an absolute prick, but even more reason to end it. My ex of 17 years would pull this crap regularly, so I know things will be better without for you without that knobhead.

He stood there in utter shock, and then started the “Now, calm down, let’s talk” 🤣😂

I think many of us have got to this point in a relationship, where all the shit you’ve put up with finally catches up with you and one day you just stop caring and check out.

You just reach that point where you snap and go from loving that person, to just feeling utter contempt for them. And the feeling of relief once you kick them to the kerb is immense! Just like a huge weight has been lifted. It’s a good feeling! ☺️

@Strawberrysaucee The fact you feel happier already, says it all! It’s because stress he’s piled on you over time has finally been released and you feel FREE!! 🙌🏼

I know you're an internet stranger but I've been following this from the start and I just want to say, I'm really bloody proud of you. Well done for doing the right thing for you and your child. Onwards and upwards.

This has made me very happy on a cold miserable Sunday

This has made my morning, OP!! Well done you 💐💐💐

It's the right decision, his behaviour was outrageous and I hope he now sees it.
Well done for giving yourself a chance at happiness without him spoiling every happy occasion.

@Strawberrysaucee congratulations on your new found freedom! Do the online freedom course to help strengthen your new boundaries.

https://www.freedomprogramme.co.uk/

@Strawberrysaucee

Isn't that feeling of peace and 'rightness' without them wonderful? I can still remember the first night after my exH left. I was almost euphoric at the 'lightness' in the house without him there. No tiptoeing around, walking on glass, being careful where I put things down, etc, etc. I could do and say what I wanted, watch what I wanted, eat what I wanted. Pure bliss.

Congratulations on your new freedom. There may be a few bumps in your new road, but you'll triumph over them.

He was going as low as to emotionally hur your child.
I bet he never really apologise for this. Probably for nothing.

I been there.
My ex husband would only go where he could be the center of attention. I lost count how many times I had to go alone at various events. Eventually I lost contact to most of my friends.

Good for you for getting out of this.