Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Walking to school alone - advice please

257 replies

chickensarnie · 04/09/2024 21:35

DD is 9 (early may baby)

DS is 15 and usually takes her to school but lately has been making my life a misery because he doesn't want to. Even though it's the same road as his own school!

I can’t change my work hours, I commute so I leave at 740. I don't have any family or friends who can help.

AIBU to let DD walk alone? She's not allowed a phone at school which is my only worry, how would I know she got there?

It's 2 streets away, no main roads. Takes less than 5 mins to get to school. Theres a pelican crossing to cross the road, which she knows how to use. It's not a main road but it can get busy.

I think it's fine but I'm worried school will say it's not.

It's a village not a city if that makes a difference.

My only worry is how would I know she got there safe?

OP posts:
Tulip8 · 04/09/2024 21:37

Not a chance would I do this.

Iblowgoats · 04/09/2024 21:40

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Dramatic · 04/09/2024 21:40

Yes it would be fine with me, presuming she's year 5? Our school allows year 5 and 6 to walk home alone (with permission) and I know some schools allow it from year 3. I'd say year 5 is a good time to let them start walking alone.

Humdingerydoo · 04/09/2024 21:40

I wouldn't allow that, no. I know our school wouldn't either.

Can she walk with a friend?

Abra1t · 04/09/2024 21:40

Well I would let her if she’s sensible.

Littletreefrog · 04/09/2024 21:40

I would tell DS to sort out his attitude and contribute to the household by doing this one little task. If its only two streets away its hardly eating into his hanging out with friends before school time.

BUT you know your DS if you think this could risk him just deciding to leave her to walk by herself anyway then I would maybe see if there's a friend she can tag along with on the way to school instead.

Beginningless · 04/09/2024 21:41

This sounds absolutely fine to me, if you think she could do it safely. My DD is coming up to 9 and I would let her walk alone if it weren’t for one busy road which doesn’t have a crossing. If it were a walk that sounds as straightforward as yours I would. Our school phones if a kid hasn’t turned up with no explanation - wouldn’t they do this? Where I live the school lets kids walk home alone from this year, why do you think yours would object?

MartinCrieffsLemon · 04/09/2024 21:42

The school will ring if she doesn't turn up

I'm guessing your 15 Yr old feels "uncool" walking with her and it impedes his social time before school

Isn't there another family local she could "tag along" with?

I think at 9, closing in on 10, it'd be fine for this walk though. Presumably she'll be off to High school this time next year and would be walking alone anyway

AttachmentFTW · 04/09/2024 21:42

If she is 9, isn't she just going into year 5? My sisters and my friends DCs schools allowed children to walk in alone from year 5 (my DCs are younger so I have no experience) . Maybe just see if they have a policy? Also if its on same road as sons school can he like walk behind her and keep an eye if he doesn't want to walk with her.

I know I'm much older and times have changed but I walked twenty minutes to school when I was in year 5 and 6, including crossing an enormous junction. I never had any trouble.

HateThese4Leggedbeasts · 04/09/2024 21:43

My school allows walking to and from school from year 5. Most people live within 10 to 15 mins walk.

Can you talk to the school about allowing a non smart phone that she hands in every day? That's what ours does.

However I admit I would probably opt for telling ds to sort his attitude out in reality and or try and incentivise him somehow into not treating it like it's the worst thing in the world!

Scotinoz · 04/09/2024 21:43

I have a 9 year old roughly the same age. She takes herself to and from school. Small
village too, just the one residential road to cross. School
says they can do it from Yr5, so she does.

Would your eldest still be at home when you leave and be responsible for locking up etc? If so, I don’t see a problem.

if she doesn’t arrive at school, they’d be in touch pretty quickly.

LadyQuackBeth · 04/09/2024 21:43

This would be very much the norm at our school, kids are walking themselves from 8/9, years before they get phones at 11/12.

On the route to school there are so many families and kids walking to school, it would actually be hard to go wrong, it isn't like going on a walk at a random time of day.

Practise with her first, spot some familiar faces each day or see if she can call on someone to walk together. She'll be fine.

whitebreadjamsandwich · 04/09/2024 21:43

My 9 year old walks to school with a friend. I drop her off at friends house, and friends parent checks they are fine when she drops her younger child off. I wouldn't be letting her walk from home (whos locking up the house?) herself, without someone able to confirm shes arrived

napody · 04/09/2024 21:44

Abra1t · 04/09/2024 21:40

Well I would let her if she’s sensible.

Me too.

MuggleMe · 04/09/2024 21:44

All the kids round here walk from y5 but we have a middle school system. School would call you if they didn't make it just like if they were off sick and you didn't phone in. Or put a phone in the bottom of their bag with a tracker app.

carrotcard · 04/09/2024 21:44

The schools round me add the child to a list and if the child isn't there at registration then the parent is phoned immediately. So you wouldn't be told she'd got their safe but you'd know if she hadn't.

Comedycook · 04/09/2024 21:44

Schools can refuse to release children at the end of the day without an adult to collect them...but they can't control if you let your DC walk to school.

UhHuhHuH · 04/09/2024 21:45

My DD walked to school in Y5 and Y6. She went with 2 friends, very safe area (as any can be) and all the parents agreed.

I don't have blanket rules on what is/isn’t acceptable. Very much context dependent.

QuiteAnEpicFailure · 04/09/2024 21:45

2 streets away no tricky crossings I would let her. My kids school allows kids to walk themselves from p4 so around age 8.

theintern · 04/09/2024 21:46

I would say year 5 is perfectly fine for a streetwise child with the location of the school as you describe.

readysteadynono · 04/09/2024 21:46

I don't think it's awful or anything but I wouldn't be letting my 15 year old make the choice because he couldn't be bothered. She should start walking alone when she feels ready and you agree. Tell DS he absolutely will be taking her and the longer he moans the less likely you are to decide she could go alone at a later time.

SussexLass87 · 04/09/2024 21:46

My DC started walking home from school in Yr5. We practised it, talked about any friend's houses on the route that are "safe houses" that they could go to if there was a problem, talked about never getting in a car with anyone (even if you know them) and they had a smart watch with tracker (xplora is the brand we chose - lots of parental controls) so they could call me if they needed anything.

I checked with the school what their policy was about it - the class teacher even walked them to the gate the first time to check they were okay - and from Yr5 it was fine.

Everyone is different, and circumstances all vary of course - but it has been really good for their independence.

arethereanyleftatall · 04/09/2024 21:46

Absolutely fine.

The school will call you straight away if she doesn't get there. So no call means she's fine.

Overthebow · 04/09/2024 21:48

I’d think the walking is fine but would she have to be by herself at home and lock up if your Ds leaves before her and you’re at work? I think 9’s too young for that.

TheSmallAssassin · 04/09/2024 21:48

I think it's fine for her to walk on her ownvin year 5, not sure what others posters are worrying about!