Walking to school alone - advice please

[chickensarnie]

DD is 9 (early may baby)

DS is 15 and usually takes her to school but lately has been making my life a misery because he doesn't want to. Even though it's the same road as his own school!

I can’t change my work hours, I commute so I leave at 740. I don't have any family or friends who can help.

AIBU to let DD walk alone? She's not allowed a phone at school which is my only worry, how would I know she got there?

It's 2 streets away, no main roads. Takes less than 5 mins to get to school. Theres a pelican crossing to cross the road, which she knows how to use. It's not a main road but it can get busy.

I think it's fine but I'm worried school will say it's not.

It's a village not a city if that makes a difference.

My only worry is how would I know she got there safe?

Totally normal where I live (Scotland) for children to walk to school from younger than 9 - even from P1. My own certainly two did.

But if you are in England then there seems to be a vastly different culture on this.

In fact, not only is year 5 absolutely fine, but our primary school actively encourages it from year 5.

Pay him a small amount? I mean, you shouldn't have to, but alternatives are way more pricey in £ or favours....

I think she is safe to walk to school but it's unacceptable that your ds is being so unhelpful. Why should you be unnecessarily worrying when there is someone who can walk here there. Put your foot down.

I have a DS the same age and for me it's not just the walking to school bit- presumably your DD will be at home without an adult for a bit first, then she will need to know when to leave on time, then walk to school by herself. I guess it depends on how much your DS will be at home with her before they both leave the house and if he leaves before her, will she know when to leave. My DS wouldn't be ready for that but it may be your DD is more mature. Can someone do a practice run with her?

I'd also be concerned that in the winter she'd potentially be home by herself just as the sun is coming up, again it depends on how happy you are leaving her in the dark. I do think that's a bit young but it depends if your DS is there too.

What happens after school OP? Presumably you are at work so where us she til 4.30/5 or whenever you get home?

All this. She wouldnt just be walking herself, its more than that.
If you were wfh and were there to wave her off from the front door for a 10 min walk it would be different but you are leaving well before she'd be headed to school 2 streets away.

You can use an AirTag or other tracker.

Sounds perfectly fine to me.

I had to write a letter to my kids' school taking responsibility for them walking to and from school in year 5 as the policy was year 7 but the school were happy to accept it,

Mine had dumb phones.

Thanks everyone

DD starts at 830, DS starts at 825, so until now he's been dropping DD at the gate at 820 (other families are there) then going to school.

They'd leave around the same time but DS would be locking up.

DS babysits for an hour til I get home (I'm home around 415-430, sometimes earlier, they get home 330)

At our school, kids are allowed to and from school in their own from year 5. But I would make sure that the school is aware, so they can let you know if she seems nervous/upset in the mornings.

If they leave at the same time and walk to school the same way does he actually have to "walk her to school" persumably even if she walked herself to school they would be walking very near to each other anyway?

How about a watch that you can track her and call/mssge on?

A child in Y5, walking 2 STREETS and less than a five minute walk through a village? Of course it's fine!

At my school many of the Y5s do this as long as they have written pwermission from parents.

You should know if she's at school because the school should call you if she was not there at registration unless you have phoned in to let them know she's sick- that's our schoool poilicy anyway. Check with the school.

Totally fine and I think that should be encouraged when the route is safe.

My DD has been walking a similar distance since about Nov of Y5, also a May birthday.
We met her increasing distances from school and we're always in (DS comes home in a taxi - and it is easier if we don't have to go for DD because sometimes the times clash).

We know she's ok getting to school because they would tell us if she didn't arrive!

They allow this from Y5 at her school, so we didn't even need to ask.

Yup this is what I was going to say. If you leave at 7.40 and your 15 year old isn’t being responsible for her it’s an hour plus she could be in the house by herself, plus locking doors etc I’d be also worried about.

edit as I’ve just seen your update. It’s a bit of a slippery slope if DS then thinks it’s ok to then slip off increasingly early perhaps. Is your daughter confident to do the walk and leaving without an adult to guide her. I’d be led by that I think.

No way and our school was just around the corner, less than 2 mins away.

DS needs to suck it up and take her.

I'm sorry but who's the parent the 15 year old should not be calling the shots what's that teaching her, speak with her and compromise but do not allow her to dictate her siblings safety could be compromised and so might your job and both can create an array of different stresses and situations for you as a family. I do not say this as judgement nor do I wish for it to sound malice I have a almost 19 year old who loved to push boundaries and be bratty at that age too . As for the 9 year old safeguarding polices within schools usually refer to taking into consideration the child's level of maturity therefore if you feel your child for 9 would be mature enough and capable enough to walk the distance safely with full understanding of road safety and potential dangers then that's up to you , but give her a phone for your peace of mind and the child's there is a tracker app 360 it can notify you when she leaves home and arrives at school too and you can speak with to let them know the phone goes away during class . I wish you all the best being a mum can be difficult juggling everything all of the time 💗

@chickensarnie it's fine. It's 2 streets away with one safe crossing.

I'd just do it, I wouldn't be asking for the schools permission.

I think it's fine, I don't see the need for a phone either. It's just a distraction and won't be any use in an emergency. Surely there will be plenty of other children walking to the same school at the same time anyway

Can you persuade DS to keep doing it until Easter? I let my y5 9yo do it after the clocks went forward - so that he was only doing it in the light.

Your son’s attitude stinks. Wonder if you suggested canceling his phone contract whether he would buck his ideas up.

I really don’t know where you all live, Afghanistan maybe?? central London?? 😂😉

But Ofcourse that’s ok.

my nearly 9 year old has been walking himself to school (one mile away) since last year when he was 7/8.

absolutely fine.

Totally normal here (Scottish city) for kids to walk to school from 9 or younger. But also normal for them to play out in streets and parks in the evening which I realise is unusual in other parts of the UK

agreed! 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿