Walking to school alone - advice please

[chickensarnie]

DD is 9 (early may baby)

DS is 15 and usually takes her to school but lately has been making my life a misery because he doesn't want to. Even though it's the same road as his own school!

I can’t change my work hours, I commute so I leave at 740. I don't have any family or friends who can help.

AIBU to let DD walk alone? She's not allowed a phone at school which is my only worry, how would I know she got there?

It's 2 streets away, no main roads. Takes less than 5 mins to get to school. Theres a pelican crossing to cross the road, which she knows how to use. It's not a main road but it can get busy.

I think it's fine but I'm worried school will say it's not.

It's a village not a city if that makes a difference.

My only worry is how would I know she got there safe?

You need to calm down. Jeezo.

I would let her do it if she is sensible. No roads to cross, and that is the biggest risk.
If you are that worried, I would consider giving her a Nokia (dumb phone, not smartphone) to keep in her bag to tell me she had got there, with strict instructions to turn it off when she gets to school and leave it in her bag (or even hand to the teacher, if the teacher is understanding). I know the school don't allow it, but they don't need to know.
In Y6 children often travel by themselves on buses etc, so to walk a couple of streets in Y5 is not that big a deal i think.

But I would have a word with the DS to tell him he is very selfish.

Wouldn’t be allowed at my kids school. They don’t allow it to year 6 mind you they also don’t allow anyone under 16 to collect siblings, my 12 year old wasn’t allowed to collect my 10 year old even though I was right outside and they could see me.

I don't see a problem. I think it's important for our kids self esteem that we trust them to do normal growing up stuff. Mine started in Y5. Doesn't have a phone. It's been great!

Does the school use an app like My Child at School? You can see attendance on there. If she’s in Year 5 then yeah I think it’s fine but would be better with a friend.

Not where I live I wouldn't but a different area maybe.

Only you know your own DD - personally I think this is fine and more kids should be walking to school with their pals like they did in days gone by. Far too many cars around schools - that is where the danger is.

As long as you trust your DD not to bunk off school, to stick to the route and she's mature enough to pick herself up and carry on after a tumble, go for it.

Why would she be off to high school this time next year? You don’t start high school until age 11 so it would be 2 years at least, possibly 3 if DD has only just turned 9 this month!

Not here. No schools in England would let a 7 year old walk in alone or with a 9 year old.

I have a 9yr old in year 5 - Hellllllll no! Not a chance. Aside from the safety aspect, she'd be a prime target for a predator and less able to defend herself than an older child. I know I'll get mocked for saying that but is it not accurate? It's not the 80s anymore, society has changed, the population has increased and with that, so has the number of predators.... And the number of cars on the roads.

My god that's appalling 😧

Nope not fine to let her go by herself - your 15 year old can carry on walking her to school.

This is unbelievable. So neglect is considered 'trendy' then in Scotland? How trendy is it to have your child knocked over by a fast car or abducted?

I genuinely cannot believe the amount of people saying it's fine to let a nine year old girl walk to school alone! Just because they think it makes them a 'cool' mum or it saves them a job...

If you wouldn't leave the child alone in the house then why the flippity FUCK would you leave them alone outdoors?!?!?!

I left my DC alone for a short while in the house starting from about age 8/9 - as long as they were OK with it. I'm clearly slack - no wait, I was prepping them for some bigger independence. I don't think a 9yo is very likely to get swooped on by a predator as she walks to school with everyone else who is walking to school. It's a really safe way to get a bit of independence and learn some resilience, in a small and low-key way at first.

DD walked to school with a friend at the end of year 4. DD and DS2 both walked to and from school without a parent by year 5 - DS1 was year 6 bc he wasn;t keen before then.

It's fine @chickensarnie as most people say.

@HauntedbyMagpies I walked to and from school with my sister (2 years older) from age 5. Blimey it's a wonder I am still alive.

@clary Society has changed quite significantly since we were kids ffs! 🤦‍♀️
Also, my next door neighbour got a visit from a social worker when she left her 8yr old son alone in the house for 3 hours once a week so that's clearly not acceptable and considered neglect.

Nope. Not at 9 !

Have you asked if the school will allow her a phone if she hands it in at reception and picks it up at the end of the day? Our school allowed year 5 children to walk to and from school alone from Easter and kids could take a phone as long as they were handed in at reception.

I do sympathise with your older child, its probably not cool to have his little sister with him and image matters to lots of 15 year olds.

I hope that you find a solution.

I think before and after school care is a big ask of a 15yo. I’d be fed up.

If changing hours is not an option, is there a breakfast club offering at her school that you could drop her to yourself @chickensarnie ?

Yes I would. It's a good age to do these things and totally normal at our school for kids to walk alone from that age. At that age I was getting the bus to middle school two mikes away.

Our school allows it from year 5.

Phone wise, they hand it into the office and pick up at home. I would drop them an email and ask

Perfectly fine, assuming she's reasonably sensible. Where I live most walk from 1st grade, at 7 years old (some will still be 6 at the start of the year). My DS will be walking alone next year when he's 7, and there's a good chance he'll have to let himself out on time and lock up, depending on how DD's school hours fit with his (I mean, hopefully they'll both be leaving around the same time but its pretty unlikely, at least very unlikely to be the same time every day)

I think it sounds fine. You could put an air tag in her bag so you can track where she is.

At 9 she's old enough.Mine walked to school at this age, I assume we're taking about a y5 child? If ds won't walk with her could she set off ahead of him so he can keep an eye on her?

Don't listen to all the 'not a chance' idiots.

She's year 5. My school allowance kids to walk from the summer of yr4 with parental permission.

It is a necessary part of transition to high school to encourage your kids to start walking by themselves. It is a healthy part of the process of independence. School will not say no for this reason.

It is not healthy to be overprotective and driven them everywhere as teens.

OP, you know how sensible she is and you know the area. You say it's not far and it's 5 minutes.

Kids across Europe start walking to school alone from age 6. It's the UK that's out of step not the other way round.