Telling a 11 year old to be home at 7

[FreshStart2025]

Recently started secondary school, enjoying the new found freedom with friends. I think it’s reasonable to be home at 7pm for dinner, homework, shower and to chill before bed at 9pm.

She thinks this is totally unreasonable.

How does everyone manage children playing out on a school night?

yabu - Let her stay out later
yanbu - 7pm is late enough

Yes that's probably true. I live in a very safe area and street. The kids are always out on their bikes and in and out of each others houses. Very normal to quickly have dinner and then out to play again when the nights are lights.

There has been a big attitude shift with some parents though. I really can't understand as some posters are saying they find an 11 year old in a park unsupervised unbelievable. 11 isn't a baby.

I think this is very true, I live in a small town, it's a "new" town which was built around keeping pedestrians safe meaning there's lots of green space and the estates are very well set up for kids playing out and it's very common for them to be out and about from 7 or 8.

My 11 year old is in and out all evening after school, he has a tracker on his phone so I can always see where he is. once the clocks change he will no doubt hibernate for the winter until next spring. I like it like this, I think it's good to be in the fresh air and over winter it's just nice to relax in the house without keeping tabs on him.

I think this is really sad. Memories of her childhood not being allowed out. Is it due to where you live? Does she have friends over? Go to theirs?

An 11 year old shouldn't be wandering about outside in the evening. Fine to be out if they are doing something specific e.g. friends house. At that age (and a bit older, too) you need to know where they are and who they are with, in order to keep them safe.

8@CoffeeCakeAndALattePlease yep this is so true it's hard for some to imagine. I also suspect more boys than girls would head to a park just because of football as a past time

Depends where.

Out round our street with the other kids, as long as dd was in for 9 at that age, I wasn't bothered. She's usually home by 4, does all her hw if she has any, by about 430, then her time is her own. Especially as we're not home until about 6 anyway.

Further afield, no. When she was in yr 7 she wanted to go to hang out near the supermarket on a Friday, around 6. It was December, a 20 minutes walk away and dark, so i vetoed That. There are a few parks I'd want her to avoid too.

@busted on a sunny evening in a safe area would you not rather see kids kicking a ball about a park than think of them all indoors in front of the TV?

My local park is a family area ....I wish I saw more kids there on sunny evenings. I know the majority are slumped indoors gaming

Unbelievable? What age would you say 7pm (on a light night) would be believable and acceptable?

But all parks are not the same, and all 11 year olds are not the same.

It's fascinating how on this thread the majority assume that everyone lives in the same type of (safe) area as them, or that there is some universal level of maturity for all children of the same age.

The simple answer @FreshStart2025 is that you do whatever you're comfortable with, your DC probably won't like it, but you're the parent.

Personally at 11 mine would not have been allowed out until 7 straight from school, but they would have been allowed to come home, get homework and dinner done, and go back out. A moot point for me personally as mine had sports every night, but you get my point.

Yes I know that not all parks are the same and not all 11 year olds are the same but to say in general terms that an 11 year old unsupervised in a park is unbelievable can't be a genuine statement.

If you read another post I have already added you will see they have a great social life full of sports and clubs. They are out of the house from 7:30am until gone 6pm most evenings. They then come home to shower and eat and do homework. It’s only school nights they are now allowed out not every night. weekends and holidays are completely different.

The friends group they are in also have the same rules. I can think of 15 names off the top of my head who also have the same rules.

I think it’s bizarre people just let their kids out on their own at those young ages! No wonder there’s so many issues 🤣

Ive read this thread to my 12 year old to show him.i am not the strictest parent as he claims 😂

It has actually cheered me up reading it as o worry constantly that my children don't spend enough time playing outdoors and it has made me realise my bar for that is very high. I find it depressing if they come home and don't go out after school

But why not? If all you personally know, is growing up in a less safe area, and your child is growing up in a less safe area, how would you know any different?

He's still up?! A bit late for a 12 year old no? 🤣🤣

I can't believe an 11-y.o. is questioning your orders.

Given that some kids her age have just beat an old innocent man to death, I’d be having her in at 7.

I never roamed the streets when I was younger, must be boring as hell!

@homesweethome u know that children need independent play to develop and thrive?? Hours of freedom in their own neighborhood was totally normal until recently with the rise of traffic and sedentary screen based childhood

Children need to be able to run about after school and relax . Kids having a football game or knocking for a mate and roller skating about on a cul de sac on a summer evening is literally what children

I work in the area of online harm and children are far more at risk online

You let your 11 year old have a phone? 😮

/s

Here I am remembering the late 90s and thinking about how much more grateful i should have been for my 9pm curfew 😂

The teen years are going to be a new challenge for me! Everything seems to have changed. We used to go home, have tea together and then go out so perhaps that's the difference?

@BeeDavis the child isn't roaming the street they are playing in a park on a warm evening with friends. Do you think kids are better off at home online or watching tv?

I don’t know how many times I have said this throughout the thread, this is only school nights! 4 nights out of 7! Weekends and holidays they get plenty of social time. They also play many sports after school.

As for screen time they are hardly ever in to play online.

@Homesweethome23 seriously? Locked in from about 4pm till the next day? That’s harsh, especially in the summer when the weather is nice and it’s light till late.

Never said that. They are out of the house from 7:30am till gone 6pm 4 nights a week they come home to shower/eat and do homework. They go out weekends and holidays.