Telling a 11 year old to be home at 7

[FreshStart2025]

Recently started secondary school, enjoying the new found freedom with friends. I think it’s reasonable to be home at 7pm for dinner, homework, shower and to chill before bed at 9pm.

She thinks this is totally unreasonable.

How does everyone manage children playing out on a school night?

yabu - Let her stay out later
yanbu - 7pm is late enough

👏

Not every evening! School nights only. Summer hols and weekends they are out.

Definitely not the norm with anyone I know. I don't know anyone who allows their kids to run around the streets unsupervised at 9yo and I have an almost 9yo.
People really live in different circles it seems.

My DD (and DS14!) have to be home by 6 or when the street lights come on, whichever is earlier. I think 7 is too late, although we do allow 630 on a Saturday if they ask. We aim for bed time at 830.

Will he get released when he is 18?

Unsupervised? At 6?

Mine at 12 and 13 (nearly 14) are expected to be home by 6. Anything later needs to be pre-arranged and agreed - it usually would be agreed, but anything later than 6 starts impacting dinner and homework timings.

Although, tbh, neither goes out much so not sure how long it will last when they start!

No of course not! He will stay tied to mummy’s apron strings!🙄

You might want to go and attack another poster now who has stricter rules for their 14 year than me.

I am trying to get my girls (11 and 9) back into the school routine so gave them 6.30 to be home for dinner this evening. They come home get changed and go straight out to call from neighbours daughters and then off to the park and the top of our road. I am very aware that the nights are about to start drawing in so want them to be out enjoying themselves as long as possible until winter kicks in.

Some of us live in areas where it's not safe to go out to the park until dark or at all. I keep mine in as much as possible, we go out as a family as much as we can instead. It is fucking sad that kids are out stabbing kids and killing pensioners but that's the shitty world we are living in. I'd rather keep mine safe.

8.30 for a 14 year old?!

Grow up!

I think it's quite unusual for a 14 year old not to go out after 6pm.

I get you don't want them "roaming the streets" (I don't think there is a single poster on here whose DC are doing that), but do they not have any organised clubs that run in the evening? Never go to a friend's house? Never go to (e.g.) the cinema?

You can talk with your sarcastic will he be allowed out when he is 18 comment! 🤦🏼‍♀️

mine woulda came home,changed,te dinner(esp in summer-but we in scotland so that can amount to 5 guid days over july\aug) id let 8.pm,if bed by 9

@FreshStart2025 Recently started secondary school, enjoying the new found freedom with friends. I think it’s reasonable to be home at 7pm for dinner, homework, shower and to chill before bed at 9pm.

Is your child at secondary school or is she starting nursery?

First of all, what on earth is "new found freedom with friends"? What's different about friendships in primary school vs secondary school? What changed?

Second, why can she not do her homework before going out? If your child is particularly busy that evening, 2 hours won't be enough for everything you listed.

Third, if they have done their homework or don't have any homework, why do they need to be home at 7pm? Can she not be home at 8 or 9pm?

Lastly, 9pm? 10pm is fine for an 11 year old.

😂 like I said, poor kid.

I am so surprised by these answers, I don’t know anyone who lets their kids go to the local park unsupervised: come in an out etc just for dinner.

My children do after school activities, football, brownies, gymnastics most nights and I think where we live children at the park without adult supervision would be very frowned upon.

For me 7pm for an 11 year old is unbelievable and far too late but judging by this thread it seems to be the norm for other families and communities.

You still can’t drop it can you?

Moving on.

This is very young to be left to his her own devices roaming streets ( with who?) for whole 4 hours

I think a lot of peoples views are influenced by where they live and can’t imagine anything else.

where I grew up I’d absolutely let dd9 out to play in the evening. I had a park at the end of my road and I’d be out until dusk with friends. I walked to & from school alone or with friends. No problem. It was a small market town, very safe.

but we now live in a city centre, not a particularly safe area, near a very busy road. No kids ever play out on our street (it’s a rat run for commuters) and the park is too far away for her to go alone safely. Completely different from my childhood experience and nowhere near as safe.

Bye 👋

My Dd is allowed to stay out until 7pm term time & 8.30pm in the holidays. We’re very lucky in the set up of our cul de sac though.

Could you do homework/tea earlier then let her stay out a bit later? I absolutely love my DD being out and I think it’s a big memory to take to adulthood. Plus. She’s not picked the iPad up since the going out started.

Edited to add my DD is 8. Edited again to say this will change as it nears winter! There’s a strict rule that they all stay together too.

My 11 year old just started secondary school and wouldn't be allowed out at 7pm by herself yet. I live in a city and it's not safe - after around 6 the parks fill up with vaping teenagers and she's not ready to navigate all that. I'm in Scotland so most of the school year it's long dark by 7 anyway.

You know your kid and your neighbourhood best and of course you're in charge so if you're comfortable with it that sounds fine to me!

I think it depends where you live and how safe the area is. My 12 year old is generally in by 8 on a school night but has been known to play in the garden with his friend from across the road till 9 on a nice night. He then tends to fall asleep very quickly after a quick snack, teeth brush and wash. My nearly 8 year old only came in from playing at 6.15 pm.

I am quite shocked that 14 year olds are banned from going out on school nights. It's not the done thing in my area at all. It seems super strict to me but that's because it's doesn't happen around my area.