Telling a 11 year old to be home at 7

[FreshStart2025]

Recently started secondary school, enjoying the new found freedom with friends. I think it’s reasonable to be home at 7pm for dinner, homework, shower and to chill before bed at 9pm.

She thinks this is totally unreasonable.

How does everyone manage children playing out on a school night?

yabu - Let her stay out later
yanbu - 7pm is late enough

Wouldn't many 11 year olds be out past 7 doing clubs anyway? Can't see this is any different.

My 10 year old is allowed at the park until 7 (although this will change as it gets darker). It depends on the area doesn't it? We live in a small town where everything is local.

Thats terrible.

My 14 year old child is perfectly happy as are all his friends who have the same rules in place.
They have many out of school activities every week night which are all sport related which goes on most nights and end at gone 6pm. They then return home for homework and dinner. So they are not stuck in the house all evening.

There is no need for them to be hanging around the streets especially at this moment in time when the streets are so unsafe.

They have had a brilliant summer holiday where they were able to stay out later and the same goes for their weekends.

Maybe see my updated post.

Hello.

Madness!

I think it’s a bit much personally. I was out while it was light at that age, playing over the park or out with friends. If you know where they are I think it’s okay to be out til 8/9.

My 2yo goes to bed at 8 so I don't think it's too bad. I probably wouldn't let them out when it starts getting dark earlier though.

Some posts on this thread are bonkers. 7pm is fine and just tell her that's that.

Isn’t madness. Take a look at my updated post.

madness is parents who let their children run wild on the streets and don’t know what they are up to or who they are mixing with.

You need to know where she is and who she's with all the time.

11 year olds get groomed fur sex.

I don't think going to the park with friends while the nights are still light qualifies as running round wild on the streets to be honest.

Obviously you parent how you see fit but in my circle that is unheard of for a 14 year old

In my circle the parents have exactly the same rules.

Each to their own.

Sorry what?! No. Straight home after school unless there is a club. I would sometimes let my dd go to the local
shopping centre after school on a Friday but even then she would be home before 6.

I’m with you, I’m also surprised at some of these answers.

My DS is 10 (nearly 11) and over the summer he has been allowed to play out until 8:30/8:45 with his friends, playing football or riding bikes on the field behind our house or on the green on the next street. He also pops in and out all the time and knows to be home by 5 whatever he’s doing for dinner. Now it is starting to get dark early and they are back at school the time to come in will be getting earlier, eg I had him back at 7:45 tonight and he was trading football cards with his friends in our garden until 8:15. He came in had a glass of milk, a shower and now he’s reading in bed.

It might be different if he’s out and about next year at high school.

I'd want them back "by Neighbours" (I know nobody watches Neighbours anymore) so 5.35. I'd tolerate until 6. 7 is inconveniencing everyone else.

For me, it would depend on who she is with. Bear in mind that she could be hanging out with a larger group, including older kids who may or may not be the best influence ( I speak from experience). All of which is cool when you're 11, but perhaps keep an eye on it all, it's a vulnerable age.

Wow, this thread is eye opening. My 6 year old gets home at 5 from After School Club, has dinner and rushes out to play. He has to be home at 7 for bath and bed by 7:30.
I would much prefer he was out riding his bike, playing etc than sat in house on some kind of screen.

My 11 yo is straight home from school by 4! 7pm is unreasonable.

Ask anyone who is involved with safe guarding where they think an 11yo should be after school.

I'd let her stay out later in the summer holidays tbf.

It also varies a great deal by where you live/where she's hanging out and with whom.

But on a school night I'd want a 9PM bedtime at 11 years old and she'd be allowed to read/write/draw, listen to music or whatever other quiet activity she preferred until she's ready to sleep.

I agree with you both, I'm surprised at some of these answers myself. Also the idea that if they're playing out kids are somehow roaming the streets wild and parents have no idea where they are. Not my experience at all.

Dare I say maybe a class divide? I suppose middle class kids are more likely to have clubs every night etc.

Personally I wouldn't be comfortable with my 11 year old hanging around in the park for 3-4hours after school. They were always full of drug addicts in my home town. But I definitely do not think you are being unreasonable requiring her home by 7pm!

Depends what else has to be done and if it's getting done. Homework and dinner finished then heading to the park? Sounds good. Going straight there from school and not getting home till 7pm so you've got dinner waiting? Not good.

To some extent - your house, your rules. You know your area and your child, you decide what the boundaries are. Of course your child will try to push them. Thats ok. You just be calm and firm (and grit your teeth, and possibly scream in frustration wheb they aren't around.....)