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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this is asking a lot?!

159 replies

Foodfrezy · 03/09/2024 20:51

Person A works 10 hours a day and drives.

Person B works 2 hours a day but doesn’t not drive.

B would like A to come and collect them after work several times a week, visit a family member and then drop them home.

This will be a 40 mile round trip for A in the evening after work when they’re tired (not to mention the extra time and petrol costs).

A said they can’t do this several times a week after work due to the time/cost etc

B is not happy about this. Due to the countryside location, B’s only other option is a taxi which they cannot afford. B says they cannot work more due to their mental health but because they’re self employed what they can claim via universal credit is very limited.

YABU: A should do the 40 mile round trip for B a few times a week

YANBU: B needs to fit in with when A feels able to do the 40 mile round trip or make their own arrangements to see family member.

OP posts:
Whattablet · 03/09/2024 20:52

Hate all this person A and B shit. Is it you and your mum/dad? What?

softmauve · 03/09/2024 20:53

B needs to sort their own life and travel, presumably they are an adult

yeesh · 03/09/2024 20:54

B is a cheeky fucker

roseymoira · 03/09/2024 20:55

Impossible to say without the wider context. Who are these people, what is the relationship? Presumably there is a back story why one feels entitled to ask for help with lifts?

Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast · 03/09/2024 20:55

Yes. It is asking a lot.
B needs reminding that driving them at all is a favour, not their right.

Arlanymor · 03/09/2024 20:56

Why is B treating A as a taxi?

Todaysbetterthanyesterday · 03/09/2024 20:57

Depends who it is. Your child? How old? Too many variables to say from your limited info.

family member visits no, other person let’s call them c (😂) can visit b themselves.

Cantbebotheredwithausername · 03/09/2024 20:57

What is the relationship between person A and B? Is there a specific reason why person B feels entitled to lifts, other than B's inability to find other options?

Foodfrezy · 03/09/2024 21:00

A and B are siblings.

OP posts:
MonicaWalkaway · 03/09/2024 21:00

"Person B works 2 hours a day but doesn’t not drive."

What?

CelestialNexus · 03/09/2024 21:00

Who the fuck are these people?

If B (not the OP) can't get to work, they need to find a new job

lightsandtunnels · 03/09/2024 21:00

I agree with PPs that it really depends on who is A and who is B and the back story.

At first reading, B needs to learn to drive and sort out their own social life and transport and stop relying on A after they've done a long shift.

StormingNorman · 03/09/2024 21:01

Person A works 10 hours a day and drives.

Person B works 2 hours a day but doesn’t not drive.

B would like A to come and collect them after work several times a week, visit a family member and then drop them home.

^ I got this far before deciding B is a CF

Foodfrezy · 03/09/2024 21:01

MonicaWalkaway · 03/09/2024 21:00

"Person B works 2 hours a day but doesn’t not drive."

What?

Person B doesn’t understand why A is tired after a 10 hour day. They only work 2 hours a day in comparison (they are self employed and this is their choice!)

OP posts:
Iloveacurry · 03/09/2024 21:02

B needs to learn to drive.

lightsandtunnels · 03/09/2024 21:02

If they are siblings then A owes B nothing. B is a CF and needs to stop being a freeloader. How long has A been doing this?

EmpressaurusDeiGatti · 03/09/2024 21:02

Well, we know for certain that the OP isn’t B.

DDG54 · 03/09/2024 21:04

If B doesn't not drive then does that mean they drive?

sarahzbaker · 03/09/2024 21:04

My DPs used to ask me to drop them off at their rental in Exeter. I had to drive from Hackney to to that. I should have said
NO CFs

Paganpentacle · 03/09/2024 21:04

Person B just needs to be told ''No- I'm not doing that after a 10 hour shift''

I wouldn't give a shit if they're not happy regardless of who it is.

Allfur · 03/09/2024 21:04

I hate a and b shit too, no-one knows you, so just say which one you are - also tell b to get a bike

Foodfrezy · 03/09/2024 21:05

Didn’t realize the typo on the OP and it won’t let me edit it!

Just to confirm, B does NOT drive! B says they cannot afford to learn to drive. If they worked more they could but they say they can’t due to poor MH.

OP posts:
MammaGisAF · 03/09/2024 21:06

Are A&B in a relationship? Married couple? If so I’d say A should make the effort maybe once a week. Any other relationship I think maybe not? Depends doesn’t it? If B is A’s elderly widowed mother then maybe A should do it. See what I mean?!

Foodfrezy · 03/09/2024 21:06

MammaGisAF · 03/09/2024 21:06

Are A&B in a relationship? Married couple? If so I’d say A should make the effort maybe once a week. Any other relationship I think maybe not? Depends doesn’t it? If B is A’s elderly widowed mother then maybe A should do it. See what I mean?!

A and B are siblings.

OP posts:
Cosyblankets · 03/09/2024 21:07

Tell your sibling they need to learn to drive