To think this is asking a lot?!

[Foodfrezy]

Person A works 10 hours a day and drives.

Person B works 2 hours a day but doesn’t not drive.

B would like A to come and collect them after work several times a week, visit a family member and then drop them home.

This will be a 40 mile round trip for A in the evening after work when they’re tired (not to mention the extra time and petrol costs).

A said they can’t do this several times a week after work due to the time/cost etc

B is not happy about this. Due to the countryside location, B’s only other option is a taxi which they cannot afford. B says they cannot work more due to their mental health but because they’re self employed what they can claim via universal credit is very limited.

YABU: A should do the 40 mile round trip for B a few times a week

YANBU: B needs to fit in with when A feels able to do the 40 mile round trip or make their own arrangements to see family member.

B needs to get a grip, get a proper job that pays enough money, learn to drive and if they don't want to do that, move to where public transport is available. A needs to block B if they persist.

Why can't the person they are visiting do the driving?

A - what have you told B?

So is this you running your brother to some random family member he wants to visit for a social cuppa and piece of cake? OR Is this brother needing a lift to visit his children because him and their mum are separated?

I think that makes a difference …. If it’s just a little social it would be a big fat no from me!…. If it’s to facilitate seeing his children I’d try to help him a bit…. But I’d be telling him you’re not driving that far after a 10 hour shift and he’ll have to fit round your availability! I’d also be telling him that while you’re happy to do this ‘occasionally’ you’re not willing to commit to a set amount of times a week or to set days..
I think it’s fine to ask for lifts on a short term basis if he was sorting something more permanent … but to expect it and for it to be indefinitely is cheeky as hell…
could he move closer to the family member he needs to see so frequently?

I recently had major surgery, I wasn’t allowed to drive for 6 weeks…. The only lifts I excepted were ones that enabled my daughter to continue her hobbies, as soon as I was able to we bussed to them….
I didn’t once ask anyone to drive me anywhere for my own benefit…. If I couldn’t walk or bus to it I didn’t go. I didn’t see anyone for those weeks unless they came to me. I wouldn’t have asked someone to run me miles and then expect them to sit around for ages before running me home again.

Tell your lazy ass brother to get the bus.

Much better! 👏👏

"But I have some sympathy for B because I've been in the situation where I didn't feel my siblings were pulling their weight with spending time with our mum"

@fernis I can understand that point of view, but in this case B works for 2 hours a day from home, and A works for 10 hours a day plus commute, so they don't exactly have equal time available for such visits, do they?

B is a complete CF and to be ignored and avoided.

Have you considered muting B and archiving their number?

Very effective at simply tuning people out.

Visit your family when you can on your own.
Keep talking about all the overtime you do and how busy you are on a loop if asked.

If you don’t drive, you shouldn’t live in an area without public transportation. B should move. Perhaps move in with the relative they so desperately want to visit. Kills 2 birds with 1 stone.