To think this is asking a lot?!

[Foodfrezy]

Person A works 10 hours a day and drives.

Person B works 2 hours a day but doesn’t not drive.

B would like A to come and collect them after work several times a week, visit a family member and then drop them home.

This will be a 40 mile round trip for A in the evening after work when they’re tired (not to mention the extra time and petrol costs).

A said they can’t do this several times a week after work due to the time/cost etc

B is not happy about this. Due to the countryside location, B’s only other option is a taxi which they cannot afford. B says they cannot work more due to their mental health but because they’re self employed what they can claim via universal credit is very limited.

YABU: A should do the 40 mile round trip for B a few times a week

YANBU: B needs to fit in with when A feels able to do the 40 mile round trip or make their own arrangements to see family member.

Sorry the thread moved quicker than I could type.
Siblings?! B is being unreasonable. They need to sort themselves out. A has no obligation to be a free taxi.

B is the golden child and always has been, so thinks they’re being totally reasonable! 🙄

B can move closer to the relative and still do their 2 hours self employed work if it's so essential.

A should block B

B sounds like my sibling only she doesn’t bother with my family at all because she is next level narc. A just needs to say no and mean it.

B should work more hours to get more money so they can afford driving lessons and a car.

Or get a bike.

B is as entitled arse.

Tell your sibling to fuck off, for God’s sake. You’re not their carer, their parent or their taxi service. If they don’t drive (and I speak as a non-driver) they shouldn’t have taken a job that requires a commute by car.

They don’t need to commute to work, this is a social visit to see a family member they want driving to!

I'm guessing the relative B wants to be driven to visit multiple times a week is an ailing or elderly parent, thus adding a more emotional element to the situation, but the bottom line is that A is understandably tired after a long day of work and should not feel forced into this arrangement simply because B doesn't want to find another solution.

B says they can’t afford a taxi, they might need reminding how much it takes to run a car - tax, insurance, fuel and MOT/maintenance. I’ve spent over £2,000 on all of those combined just in the last two months - taxis kinda seem cheap now don’t they?!

Actually, if this is about sibling B wanting sibling As help in visiting/caring for their shared elderly parents, I don't think it's an unreasonable thing to ask. It's also, however, OK for sibling A to decline and counter with a different offer-e.g. they are presumably frequently visiting elderly parents anyway, so why not take sibling with them as and when they do?

Or is sibling A not bothering with visiting/helping their parents at all? And this is sib Bs way of trying to get sib A to step up?

Tell them they could work 2 more hours a week and learn to drive with that money. You would be helping them in the long run.by saying no.

B needs to learn to drive or take the bus since they have plenty of spare time.

A must be exhausted from.working 10 hours a day, then to have to drive 40 mins and provide a taxi service to B. Screw that.

B needs to accepts that they will only be driven to see their relative by A when A is willing and able to do so.

Tell me, OP... is family member C starting to put pressure on A to do what B wants?

There are some revolutionary things that B could try to improve their life, called driving lessons, video calls, and not being a CF.

You are clearly A.

B is obviously being a complete twat. I work 7 hours a day but due to traffic my commute is often over an hour each way. No way would I be doing a 40 mile round trip on top of a day at work unless it suited me to do so.

B needs to learn what public transport is.

Good plan

Not the point I know, but am I the only one to notice there are many posts just lately referencing self-employment, low hours & mental health, and universal credit? Is there something I am missing?

I'm not sure the back story adds anything to the debate anyway; it is not a reasonable request for anyone to ask someone else to do a 40 mile round-trip several times a week out of the goodness of their heart, regardless of how many hours anyone is working or what time of the day it is or what it's for. It's a huge ask.

Purely social? the family member they are visiting is not ill or particularly frail?
if not, B can get in the bin. Wtf

B can get to fuck. Entitled much?

Is there important context here, e.g is the relative B wants to visit very elderly/unwell/in need of support? If it’s genuinely just for a social visit then B is unreasonable. That said, it is expensive to learn to drive, and good luck getting a test - so I think A should suggest a compromise, e.g facilitating a visit each fortnight maybe?

Why talk in riddles, especially when it all comes out in drip feeding? Let me guess, it’s your sibling and they want to visit your parent/s for a cup of tea/natter/check in and both are making you out to be the bad guy for not doing the grunt travel work for it to happen? You work, you evidently live a good distance away, it’s not something you can make happen so that’s the end of the conversation.

A makes clear that is not a not an option, B goes nc with A and end of conversation.

If B is self employed and works somewhere that is hard/expensive for them to get, why can't they work 4 or 6 hour blocks to save money on taxis?

Or get somewhere else to work. You don't work somewhere you can't get to.

B needs to grow up and take responsibility for his/her - self.

Ifvtgey’re self employed, they need to do more work (what’s the job)?.

Any reason why family member can’t visit them?