Mil forcing dinner

[Pleeeeaaasehelp]

I’ll make it brief. Mil has never liked me, never really tried to hide it even in front of the kids( constant rudeness and belittling). We don’t see her often as she lives abroad. She’s not your normal Gma, never Birthday or Xmas gifts! But every time we do see her someone ( usually more than one!) ends up in tears when she leaves.
Now the kids are all young adults they don’t want anything to do with her. They pretend phones aren’t working etc…. However that comes back on me.. I’ve turned them against her.
I really haven’t.
For 30 years I’ve put up with her emotional abuse.
Anyway…. She’s coming over, demanding a family meeting about how badly she is treated in this family.
I’ve finally decided I can’t face her anymore and I don’t want to go. I’ve spent 27 years saying to DH it’s only a week, it’s your mum etc…. ( He gave up years ago)
Aibu.
Go She’s old, you’ve put up with it for this long…..

Uanbu. Don't go, let shit hit the fan, but know you’ve been forced a death by a thousand cuts

Oh hurrah. Glad he's seen sense.

My first thought.

Very well said @Delphinium20

What if you'd been away for several nights?! Would she be camping out in her car waiting?!

@JFDIYOLO What if you'd been away for several nights?! Would she be camping out in her car waiting?! I think that would most likely have happened!! the woman is batshit crazy!

If I had arrived home to find MiL on the driveway parked in her car, I would have reversed out of the driveway and gone somewhere else - even for the night or arrived home at 11pm or something and kids straight to bed.

You made it clear you didn't want to see her.
Your son made it clear he didn't want to see her
Your DH made it somewhat clear that he didn't want to see her...so why was she given an hour of your DH's time after making it clear that NO ONE WANTED TO SEE HER????

Your DH should have gone into the house and phoned the police to say that his mother, who is is being harassed by, is parked on his driveway and he doesn't want anything to do with her and what can they advise here?

You would have left your own home? WTF

It’s a MIL. Let hubby take the lead. His family, his problem.

Up to you if you take any of this advice or not but if this was me, this would be the approach I would take:

Have a family meeting ... without her. Tell your husband that you don't want to see or hear from her again, she's not welcome in your home, you will be blocking her on all forms of communication and if he wants to continue to have a relationship, that's on him. I would say to the kids that they can 100% make their own decision whether they want a relationship with her or not and they will not get in trouble either way. I would then tell MIL that you have had enough of this constant back and forth with her so you will no longer continue any form of relationship. I would tell her that your priority is your immediate family within your household and she is extended family. I would say that the children have sat with you and DH and have been given the choice whether they want to have a relationship with her but the fact she blames you for influencing them over the fact they have witnessed her consistent poor behaviour is laughable. Tell her to take this time for some self reflection because nobody wishes to have a family meeting with her and the answer is no. Tell DH to deal with her from now on (if he chooses to) and that you don't even want to entertain any conversation about her from now on. I wouldn't even give her the opportunity to respond to your message - you're being courteous to oven tell her instead of just cutting her off. Block her (and the kids have the freedom to do the same if they want) and enjoy your peace.

Sorry, should have bothered to read all the comments ... sounds like you had more drama since!

If I wasn’t expecting her, yes, I’d reverse out of my driveway and go have dinner somewhere else and only return home when she’s gone.

Or I’d walk into the house and not even acknowledge her.

She has no right to be there.

No, of course you don't have to go, & then it's up to your husband if he wants to maintain any relationship with her or not. No one can demand people see them - family or not

You ideally should read all the OP’s comments. It’s all moved on a very long way.

See All in the bottom right of the OP gives you all her updates.

(I mean this generally, not just aimed at you. It gets very Cancel The Cheque after a bit)

Any sign of MiLzilla today?

Ok, so a few weeks after hubby chat!

She’s left the country ( had spoken to hubby apparently) but none of the rest of us have heard a squeak.

I call that a win

Thanks all xx

That's good news.

Thanks for coming back to update the thread.

@Pleeeeaaasehelp yay go DH!

did he ever tell you what was said? What she was complaining about?

So put it down now. And that includes with your DH. It’s time he stood up to her and put a stop to this nonsense.

@Thunderpants88 , no he never mentioned his conversation with her. I’m sure one day he’ll spill the beans……

Strange that he wouldn't mention the conversation with her, I would definitely want to know but I am guessing he wants to protect you and, therefore, it was not great. I would still want to know nonetheless as it would bug me not knowing.