To go after my ex for half his inheritance

[spanieleyes22]

So we split 15 years ago. 2 ds. They are with me. He did see them on weekends when they were small. He moved back in wit his mother and used take them there at weekends. Usually one nite. Not every weekend. He's been sporadic with maintenance. Had to take him to court at the beginning. Sometimes he pays it sometimes he doesn't. He doesn't see them now. They don't really have a relationship with him despite my best efforts. His mother has now died and it looks like he will inherit her house. Probably he won't get a huge amount as there are a lot of siblings. We never actually divorced. I tried a few years ago to do a diy one but he was slow signing the papers and in the end life took over and I let it go. Friends and family are saying to me I should get half his inheritance. I would feel bad though trying to get it. In the same way he could get half of anything I might inherit. My parents are well though so they will be around for a good while yet. Wwyd. Leave him be or. In one way I would do it for the dc to help them out. I don't want anything from him I hate him 🤣but he won't give the ex anything he just won't I know what he's like. So I could do it for them. They have no relationship with him anyway so I wouldn't be messing anything up for them .

HNRTT but, depending on jurisdiction, have you signed a recent post-marriage will directing your estate to your children and excluding your ex?

You've got absolutely no right to half his inheritance.
It's a post separation transaction.
Morally it just wouldn't be right but I'm not a lawyer so who knows on the legalities.
File a claim for your unpaid maintenance.

Well as their still married she might have a claim.

He hasn’t got any morals I don’t see why ops kids should miss out she’s owed a sizeable amount of maintenance.

Morals 🤣 if it was op with the inheritance he’d be all over it like flies on shit.

I would get divorced and if you need the maintenance go for it if not and he doesn't see them then and you can afford to keep them on your own then just cut all ties.

The best advice is get proper advice from someone who is an expert, then you will know exactly what you can do. If you search, then such advice is available for free also.

However while I would think you would not be entitled to any after acquired effects/benefits after the separation, the maintenance arrears will or may be quite sizeable now, that may now can come from his newly acquired benefits possibly?

I don't think morally you have any call on his inheritance-if he owes back child maintenance sue him for that, you have the paper work and bank statements, it's very straightforward.
Your friends are pushing you to sue, for his inheritance, but you would have little or no prospect of winning-you were not living together or in a relationship when he inherited-they fact you are technically still married would not count for much.
The same goes for him , if you inherit when your parents die. You could file for a no fault divorce and get it without him signing, if you wish.

Get divorced, get maintenance sorted

Going for the inheritance would make you nothing short of a complete scum bag. Go for the maintenance you're entitled to.

I’d think you would be entitled at least to back maintainence that he hasn’t paid, but you’re still his wife and if you divorced now his assets would be taken into account. Clearly he wasn’t bothered about the divorce otherwise he’d have signed the papers!

OP is still married to him - that’s a relationship

By all means, go after half of his inheritance if you really believe that you're entitled to it, but don't come back here bleating when he goes after half of your future inheritance.

The law is not on your side in relation to the inheritance - it isn't a matrimonial asset (though it could affect the terms of a divorce settlement if it meant that there was enough in the pot to meet the legally assessed needs of all parties, with dependent children taking precedence, and there wouldn't have been without it).

You need to find the money. If you didn’t have the money to eat or pay bills you would find it. This is just important IMO you need to loose the legal connection that ties you to him the future ramifications of not doing this could cost you far more than £600!

You can be married to someone you have never met- it doesn't make it a relationship.

You don’t separate financially when divorced, you need to also apply for a clean break order. Kids/maintenance are separate to your joint married assets, so think also what’s half of his could also be half of yours. Assets, pensions etc.
untangle yourself legally and financially, then set up an order for maintenance so you don’t have to chase.

Divorce him now & you'll get what you're entitled to from him, including part of the inheritance if that's included in his finances when he submits details of what he owns etc. Do it for your kids sake so you can open a trust fund for them for their future.

As they have been separated 15 years, it is highly unlikely OP would be awarded part of the inheritance.

If the inheritance was received after they separated, the court can ring fence the inheritance so that it’s not regarded as a marital asset. It’s by no means certain that the OP would see any of it. If there is enough in the marital asset ‘pot’ to meet the needs of both parties then it would likely be ring fenced.

I would seek advice from a solicitor. You are both still legally married, albeit, separated. There is no financial order (or any Court Order) so under the eyes of the law, you are still married.

He inherits from his mother. This potentially is 'marital assets'. Perhaps you may have a claim to a % of his inheritance. I'd tread carefully, because until it is actually his, he could alter the will by deed of variation and resign it to someone else. In which case, you would be back to square 1.

As I have posted previously, the fact they have been separated for 15 years means it is highly unlikely OP will get any of his inheritance. The approach the courts take is that they will only dip into an inheritance if there is no other way to meet both sides reasonable needs.

However, if things were different and OP could potentially claim a slice of his insurance, using a deed of variation to give it his inheritance to someone else wouldn't help him. That would clearly be a transfer intended to prevent or reduce financial relief, which means the courts could set it aside.