To go after my ex for half his inheritance

[spanieleyes22]

So we split 15 years ago. 2 ds. They are with me. He did see them on weekends when they were small. He moved back in wit his mother and used take them there at weekends. Usually one nite. Not every weekend. He's been sporadic with maintenance. Had to take him to court at the beginning. Sometimes he pays it sometimes he doesn't. He doesn't see them now. They don't really have a relationship with him despite my best efforts. His mother has now died and it looks like he will inherit her house. Probably he won't get a huge amount as there are a lot of siblings. We never actually divorced. I tried a few years ago to do a diy one but he was slow signing the papers and in the end life took over and I let it go. Friends and family are saying to me I should get half his inheritance. I would feel bad though trying to get it. In the same way he could get half of anything I might inherit. My parents are well though so they will be around for a good while yet. Wwyd. Leave him be or. In one way I would do it for the dc to help them out. I don't want anything from him I hate him 🤣but he won't give the ex anything he just won't I know what he's like. So I could do it for them. They have no relationship with him anyway so I wouldn't be messing anything up for them .

I think Lady Gabriella is right.
My late ex tried to claim from my late parent's estate!

Not inheritance, just maintenance as several people have said

Maintenance is seperate and should be chased through appropriate channels. Personally after 15 years apart I would not chase for his inheritance but I would chase up the divorce as I'm sure he will receive similar advice from others when your parents pass. So factor in if you would like him to get half of that. If not push for the divorce and tell him if he doesn't speedily send what you need you will think about claiming what's yours.

Grabby asf.
You’ve been done for FIFTEEN YEARS.

Imagine how disgusted you’d be if your parent died and he was trying to “go after” your inheritance.

Please see a solicitor and get a financial separation, I forget the legal term for this; he could come for anything you have now or in the future. It’s a complete clean break so that neither of you can seek money/property/pensions etc clears things. If anything were to happen to you now he would have decisions over everything, your kids/cash/wishes the lot…even down to your funeral. They could say his needs are greater than yours , say if your kids have left home & he doesn’t have anywhere to live.
join a legal uk page, loads of helpful folk on there who can help

Not quite the same I know but I lost my mom whilst I was divorcing my ex. The solicitor tried to ring fence it as she said we were separated at the time mom died. He ended up without any of my inheritance, so it’s not guaranteed you’ll get it? If we ended up going to court however my solicitor advised me that there was a chance the judge would award him a certain percentage. What I can guarantee tho is that you will end up with is a hefty solicitors bill trying to pursue it.
You can get divorced regardless but the financial aspect is a separate issue to that anyway. You will need a clean break - which means finances are sorted and you can no longer claim against each others finances. This is a must nowadays, because if ever he got into a bad finance situation such as bankcruptcy they may come after you if you’re still both married? I would look into it; some solicitors give you a free advice session or you could try citizens advice.

Phone child maintenance and ask them to arrange collection each month. If he doesn’t pay you report it each month, if he still doesn’t then they’ll deduct it straight from his wage!
file for divorce now…. He’ll be keen to sign it now he has inheritance. You could go for it but if the courts say no you might just end up with a bill …

If you live n England it won’t do you any good going after him for his inheritance as inheritance is not shared assets it belongs solely to the pers

son who inherited it.

It isn’t a marital asset even if two people are still married.

How old are your children?. Surely they must be nearing adulthood by now.

Realy curious to know, OP, whether you have a will in place

Go after the maintenance, and tell your solicitor about the inheritance, so that will be taken into consideration...he has the means to pay. And GET THAT DIVORCE! Don't ever count on "my parents are well." Life has a way of throwing things at you.

If all else fails, when you have your maintenance hearing, have your solicitor walk the divorce papers over to him, and say, "Sign these now."

He’ll have money now though, from the inheritance. He sounds like a feckless father.

I think you’ll find that the dear daddy has been as feckless as f. He has avoided his responsibilities towards his children. Op would only be doing right by her children if she salvaged the back maintenance they were due. And going forward.
I’m sure the dear chappie will be delighted to finally have the means do right by his offspring.

You can’t afford not to get legal advice and finalise the divorce. As sure as eggs are eggs, he’ll be coming after any inheritance you may get in the future if you’re not already divorced.

You need to formalise the CMS claim and divorce him. Apart from anything else, he’s presumably your next of kin still - that means he’s making all decisions about your care and inheriting your property of anything happens to you - the evidence proves he wouldn’t look after the children.

Go for cms by all means, but don't go for his inheritance. That would be a shitty move.

I'd do it and put it accounts for kids

https://www.nelsonslaw.co.uk/applications-under-the-inheritance-act/

I never knew that you could apply to inherit money from someone's estate because you are in need, even though they deliberately excluded you.

There is case law relating to inheritance after separation being taken into account where there has been no financial order post separation.

Go for divorce and maintenance. Don’t get embroiled in extraneous stuff.

You are still married ? Then in English law , when you divorce you would be entitled to a 50% share of the 'matrimonial assets' gathered during the length of the marriage ( any property, investments) and half his pension pot ( and he is the same , if you decide to pension share) if you were to divorce.

If you are still married and he passes away- as his spouse ( as you are.still married) and you have wills which leave everything to each other- on his passing his entire estate. And he yours.

Get some proper legal advice. Esp. if your husband is in the Republic of Ireland where law may be different.

I am divorced and remarried. Any inheritance I get is mine ( as legally my ex is not married to me and so gets nothing). My current husband gets my estate ( any inheritance included) and is named in my will along with my children.

Write a will specifying your children are to receive your estate and not your ex . Then get divorced and sort out financials with him. Move on and move forwards. I wasted 3 years and £s trying to squeeze something out of my ex so he'd provide for them in his passing. I wanted and received nothing. His parents passed and I asked for and was offered nothing. I am glad. It only muddied the waters. I wanted him to provide for his kids...maybe he will in his will, that's on him. My advice is to sort it, dont waste emotional effort on it, it is really bad for your mental health. Let go of what he 'owes' you. Your kids know who cares and provides for them. Focus on that and , once this whole thing is quickly sorted, move forwards. Ex wrangling is emotionally entangling and leads to bitterness and self doubt. Move forwards and be happy with your children.

I wouldnt go for inheritance to be honest but chase the child support up. Probably you should see a solicitor as DIY divorces usually leave someone disadvantaged and especially if you have children

If you split 15 years ago then assume children are now above the age where he has to provide financial support ?

I don't understand why you have never divorced or never claimed child maintenance. How have you been living ?

If he lived with his mother and the house is her estate which she has left to all her children then probably the house will have to be sold and he will be homeless, certainly in a worse position than he was unless there was a provision in mothers will that he could stay in it till he died. Unlikely. So no basically it’s most likely that he is going to be poorer not richer.

Get divorced asap, he is clearly not wanting to divorce you, maybe that’s because he has his eye on the longer game and will go after your inheritance later. Don’t take the risk, are you in the U.K., if so after all this time you don’t need him to sign the papers!