To go after my ex for half his inheritance

[spanieleyes22]

So we split 15 years ago. 2 ds. They are with me. He did see them on weekends when they were small. He moved back in wit his mother and used take them there at weekends. Usually one nite. Not every weekend. He's been sporadic with maintenance. Had to take him to court at the beginning. Sometimes he pays it sometimes he doesn't. He doesn't see them now. They don't really have a relationship with him despite my best efforts. His mother has now died and it looks like he will inherit her house. Probably he won't get a huge amount as there are a lot of siblings. We never actually divorced. I tried a few years ago to do a diy one but he was slow signing the papers and in the end life took over and I let it go. Friends and family are saying to me I should get half his inheritance. I would feel bad though trying to get it. In the same way he could get half of anything I might inherit. My parents are well though so they will be around for a good while yet. Wwyd. Leave him be or. In one way I would do it for the dc to help them out. I don't want anything from him I hate him 🤣but he won't give the ex anything he just won't I know what he's like. So I could do it for them. They have no relationship with him anyway so I wouldn't be messing anything up for them .

When money comes up the ex starts knocking.
You want nothing to do with him for 15 years until you hear money.

He sounds like a waste space but the poor woman won’t be even cold. Leave the inheritance - has he not been working and that is why you’ve not been paid? Children must be practically adults if you’ve been separated 15 years.

Why wouldn’t she have a claim? They’re married. She is absolutely entitled to some of his money. And that’s how the courts will see it. People try to protect themselves with things like pre-nups but they are frequently overriden here if there are children involved. Nothing is binding. I reckon this woman could probably get more than half his inheritance to be honest.

Just because she could maybe get some doesn't mean that she should.

Well I think that she should, given that she has two of his children to support. For which he provides minimal.

Do it, given he hasn't taken much responsibility.

Given that inheritance is protected in law during divorce under certain circumstances, which it sounds like this inheritance would be, no I wouldnt as it would cost a lot to get nothing. However, I would divorce and use the "Sign the paperwork, dont ask me for anything and I wont go after your inheritance" as leverage to get it over and done with quickly. Sounds like he isnt going to spend money on a solicitor if you arent using one either so if he is ignorant of the law around his inheritance, it could work in your favour to get it all sorted asap with a clean break order. Then he has no claim on any money or property you may come into later.

Then when it is signed and sealed, go to CMS to sort the maintenance. Until then, smile and nod.

Can you use the threat of going after his inheritance to get him to pay the divorce fee & maintenance. Offer only valid if the divorce goes through before probate is granted…..

Because inheritance such as this, if it isnt put into the marital pot during the marriage, is not considered an asset of the marriage.

He received it after they split, the OP has/will never be given access to it nor will it be used to benefit of the family. If, for example, they were together when he got it and he used it to pay off the mortgage on the family home, then yes she would have a claim. If he had left it in a seperate account in his own name then she wouldnt, there are laws specifically to prevent this sort of thing happening. So as it is left to him alone and kept by him then no, she does not have a claim and no judge would award it. The only things considered in a financial settlement are assets of the marriage, and this isnt one of them. It is ringfenced.

The fact that he isnt paying anything or seeing the kids makes him an unmitigated shit, but wont be considered during the divorce judgement. You cannot claim "compensation" from an ex for being a crap father.....sadly. Probably be a hell of a lot less of them around if you could!

Probably the most sensible advice.

You don't have a financial consent order so it's all on the table and he hasn't paid maintenance. I think you have an excellent claim. See a solicitor for advice.

Go for the inheritance op, he owes you big time. Usually I would say inheritance should be ring fenced away from divorce settlements, but in the case of a maintenance dodging deadbeat, then go for it.

I'm just going by what it says on the government website:

"If they dispute the divorce
Your husband or wife will have to complete an ‘answer form’ to say why they disagree with the divorce.

Your husband or wife must have a genuine legal reason to dispute the divorce. They cannot dispute the divorce simply because they do not want a divorce or to delay the process. You may have to go to court to discuss the case."

What would I do? Hang my head in shame.

Yes - Go for it. Think of it as all of the maintenance he owes you and a future nest egg for the children. You're still married so it is legally 50% yours. Once you get the inheritance - Divorce him. He cannot go after you for anything, then. Plus, even if you don't go for the inheritance what's to stop him doing the same thing to you while still married?

l wouldn’t go after the inheritance - if it’s split between him and siblings, it’s probably not worth the hassle - but l would start divorce proceedings and chase him for maintenance. Get the best financial settlement you can in the circumstances and make absolutely sure that your divorce stipulates a clean financial break. This means that neither of you has any financial claim on the other once the divorce is final, so any inheritance you may eventually get from your parents will be safe. Staying married to him is leaving you both financially vulnerable.

The divorce needs to include a clean financial break agreement otherwise they’re still financially linked and could each still claim half of any lump sums the other came into.

This is a very high bar though. There would have to be a viable legal reason for his objection, so unlikely.

The problem here is if neither of them want to use a solicitor. A clean financial break order has to be drafted by a solicitor so they can’t avoid it.

Please get a solicitor on to this. He certainly owes you maintenance and if you are able to get back payments all the better but you need someone to fight your corner, who can get results for you.

If you never actually divorced, surely his inheritance goes into the marital assets pot? If you divorce now, you’re entitled to half, aren’t you?

I’d definitely divorce him to protect any future inheritance you may have. I wouldn’t even bother claiming on the money he’ll get.

You can get divorced easily these days as previously mentioned - particularly after splitting so long ago; and yes, try for the maintenance again now he’s got some money.

Inheritance is ring fenced, so if he inherited after they split, she won’t have a claim as it’s not a marital asset. She’d be better going for a divorce with a clean financial break so that neither has any future financial claim on the other.

No - inheritance is ring fenced. It’s not part of marital assets if he inherited after they split.

Before you get yourself all excited, solicitors like to try and leave inheritances with the bio family they came from. You'll be given the equivalent from elsewhere. Be it a bigger per centage of the marital home or pension.