To go after my ex for half his inheritance

[spanieleyes22]

So we split 15 years ago. 2 ds. They are with me. He did see them on weekends when they were small. He moved back in wit his mother and used take them there at weekends. Usually one nite. Not every weekend. He's been sporadic with maintenance. Had to take him to court at the beginning. Sometimes he pays it sometimes he doesn't. He doesn't see them now. They don't really have a relationship with him despite my best efforts. His mother has now died and it looks like he will inherit her house. Probably he won't get a huge amount as there are a lot of siblings. We never actually divorced. I tried a few years ago to do a diy one but he was slow signing the papers and in the end life took over and I let it go. Friends and family are saying to me I should get half his inheritance. I would feel bad though trying to get it. In the same way he could get half of anything I might inherit. My parents are well though so they will be around for a good while yet. Wwyd. Leave him be or. In one way I would do it for the dc to help them out. I don't want anything from him I hate him 🤣but he won't give the ex anything he just won't I know what he's like. So I could do it for them. They have no relationship with him anyway so I wouldn't be messing anything up for them .

I am currently dealing with a case where the husband and wife had been living apart for years and never divorced. He has just died and his wife has inherited his estate. His children got nothing. If you died without a Will your husband would inherit under the intestacy rules. Even if you made a Will he could have a claim against your estate under the IPFDA 1975. My advice is to get divorced ASAP. You might qualify for an exemption from the Court fee if you are on a low income or certain benefits.

https://www.gov.uk/get-help-with-court-fees

It's the sort of thing my ex and his money grabbing family would do (and have done). I'm sure that's the reason he's dragging his feet with our divorce even though he's talking about marriage with his latest girlfriend.

The children will inherit when he dies. Why go after his inheritance now.

I think you know the answer here. Leave it be, you will only vilify yourself in the eyes of your ex, his family and possibly your kids too. This really would be the definition of kicking a man when he's down.

This is a good idea. I'll check how much a letter like that would cost

I'd go for it, and I'd put it away for the kids for later on. He is financially responsible for them, and if he won't pay voluntarily, take it out of his hands and take it yourself.

Are there arrears of maintenance because clearly you can take steps to ensure any inheritance is used to clear these

@spanieleyes22 Inheritance isn't considered as marital property.

You need to get divorced, most important part of that is sorting out and untangling your finances. Because unless you do that he can come after your assets at any point as well.

In the process of divorce i would be bringing up the fact you looked after DSs with little to no financial input from him. And if there is not much to inherit, i’d be willing to accept a much lesser amount as a token just to get things done.

I would use this as opportunity to completely detangle myself from him.

I can only tell you what happened to a friend of mine in Australia, with similar laws as the UK.

They divorced and her husband paid nothing to their upkeep despite a claim with the Child Support Agency, Seven years later her XH received an inheritance the executor lodged in the Family Court. The moment the inheritance was lodged, all his arrears of not paying child support became noticeable by the Agency. The Estate solicitors received a letter from them with the total amount owed and were the first to be paid after distribution of the Estate.

My friend received over $20,000 and the XH not even $5000.

You are not even divorced. Go after his inheritance and divorce him after. It's the best you can do for your kids.

file with CMS for maintenance... get a divorce... leave the inheritance alone!

I'd probably use the threat of going after 'your share' of his inheritance to get him to pay for a divorce. Tell him that since you're married you're entitled to a share, but if he pays for the divorce you'll sign off during the financials.

I don't know about the UK/Ireland, but where I am assets are not included in calculating monthly maintenance. Income yes, assets no. And children cannot claim a share of a parent's inheritance. A parent can sue for payment of an arrears in court ordered maintenance, but I expect the legal costs would be hefty and he now has the money to fight it I expect.

I wouldn't count on that. I imagine he'll have a will in place which doesn't leave anything to the children.

Inheritance is NOT a marital asset and OP is entitled to none of it. Not a bean.

She should push for better maintenance though.

OP you need to get divorced but also ensure that there is a final financial settlement. If not you are vulnerable. If you have any assets e.g home, pension, savings and you don't have a will then if you die and you are resident in England he will be entitled under intestacy.

You really need to think about this.

I got divorced 20 years ago and I wouldn't go after anything my ex has. I have no idea about his financial affairs (or even if he is still alive!)

Definitely go through the CMS. I never received more than £7 a week and got nothing for years but you can try...

Inheritance is nearly always ring fenced, in this context you’ve absolutely zero chance of getting your hands on his mother’s money.

go for maintenance, but going for inheritance is pointless. No judge in the land will give you even a penny of his parents money,

She can tell him that all she wants but if he’s a single brain cell he will know she’s talking nonsense.

Not applicable in the uk. The inheritance is legally ringfenced, if he owes cm he needs to pay it, irrelevant of where he gets the money,

Get divorced already. I really hope you have a Will sorted and a next-of-kin recorded on your medical records. It will be kind of shit for your children if you drop dead tomorrow and your ex gets all you possessions and the right to flush your ashes down the toilet.

Don't go after his inheritance but do use this as a catalyst to finalise a divorce.

IMO it's very unlikely that you would succeed in making a claim for his portion of the inheritance. Inheritance isn't automatically ring fenced for divorce, but it is generally not considered to be a matrimonial asset if it hasn't been shared i.e where it has been kept in a separate bank account and not used for the benefit of the family.

If it's possible to ring fence inheritance received during a happy marriage, it's likely he will be able to ring fence it in these circumstances where you have been separated for such a length of time. In any event it will cost you thousands to pursue.