Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To make a birthday cake and not cut it

207 replies

Miaowm · 01/09/2024 19:12

I want to make my daughter’s birthday cake as I do every year. This is the first year she will
be having a party with friends and family at a venue. I wanted to take the cake for singing and then hand out matching cupcakes. Is this out of order?
A couple of reasons for this, not really anywhere suitable to cut the cake at the venue and I really don’t want a cake I’ve spent ages on to be crushed in a party bag then thrown away

OP posts:
OriginalUsername2 · 02/09/2024 00:14

It all gets squished through peoples intestines at the end of the day.

Dinosaurlover · 02/09/2024 00:21

It's very telling on here that the people who have done it think it's fine, but the people who've been given the substandard cakes don't feel so fine about it...

People definitely do notice, if not the kids, the adults do. Its quite unpleasant to show off a fancy cake but to deem the (present laden) attendees not worthy of eating it.

Cut it there or use an identical duplicate if that's more practical (but don't be obvious about it)

TwinklyNight · 02/09/2024 00:49

I'd make two cakes or a cake for home and cupcakes for party. Or buy an ice cream cake for the party and serve it at the party after the food?

AgileGreenSeal · 02/09/2024 01:03

DoYouReally · 01/09/2024 19:47

So it's a performance cake then?

Looks good in pictures and for show but not for sharing.

If it's not for eating cake, then it shouldn't be anywhere people might expect to eat it.

It’s an Instagram cake 🎂

Lavender14 · 02/09/2024 01:08

I make ds birthday cake and I'd be raging if I put that amount of work in and no-one tasted it! I've always cut it at the party and then popped into party bags and taken the remainder home. Though they've always been big cakes so I wouldn't have been able to eat it all at home anyway. Well I absolutely could but I'd probably end up ill.

Chrsytalchondalier · 02/09/2024 01:51

Bournetilly · 01/09/2024 19:18

What’s the point in making it if you aren’t going to give it out? I don’t think the children will mind/ know any different though so it’s fine.

This. It all looks the same coming out. I don't get why you wouldn't just eat it there. I feel this is why people are so busy, just making things more complicated than they need to be 😑

Chrsytalchondalier · 02/09/2024 01:53

Moonshine5 · 01/09/2024 21:51

Do you understand what the purpose of a birthday cake is lol

Exactly. I can't even believe this is a thing

Vabenejulio · 02/09/2024 02:25

I’ve heard it all now. Unbelievable. Even Marie Antoinette let them eat cake!!

setmestraightplease · 02/09/2024 02:29

It's your DD's birthday. It's your DD's birthday cake

Would she like it cut at the party? ............... (that's the whole tradition of a cake at a birthday party??)

Or is it all about you and how much work you've put in and what you want so the whole effect isn't 'ruined' and people can admire the effort you've put in??

Because there's a world of difference

Galiana · 02/09/2024 02:41

I've not RTFT but I DId This.

I spent hours lovingly making a tractor cake for DS's 3rd birthday.

I couldn't cut it. Couldn't do it.

I sent everyone away with buns.

And then threw the mouldy cake in the bin a few weeks later.

Retrospectively, I think I went a bit mental.

For his fourth birthday I spent even longer making a pirate cake and party and just went with it. It was fine.

That tractor cake? No.

GreenTeaLikesMe · 02/09/2024 03:24

But, what is the cake for?

If it's to be eaten at a later date, well.... it will get cut at that point anyway. And I agree with others, it looks quite rude to bring a cake to a party and then refuse to serve it.

If it's never going to be eaten.... surely throwing it in the bin would be more of a shame?

Sorry, but I too would be thinking "Oh God, an Instagram type," especially if you were going all-out photographing the cake without cutting it.

PeapodBurgundy · 02/09/2024 03:26

I've done both cake in party bags and cupcakes in party bags.

If the party is in a venue where I have help from the staff to host it/they do the hosting, then I bake a cake big enough for all guests, it gets cut up and put in the party bags.

If I'm hosting the party at home, I bake a cake big enough for the three of us to have a slice, and place it on a tiered cake stand with matching cupcakes below (that are usually fancier than the actual cake). I have enough to be doing without madly trying to cut up a cake, wrap it and get it into party bags. I find it much easier to have the cupcakes ready to go in little individual boxes/pods so everyone just picks up a party bag and a cupcake on their way out.

I've been criticised for it on here before, but I'm not going to lose any sleep over that. I appreciate that everyone does things differently, and people might think it odd, but at the end of the day, when I'm hosting what is sometimes upwards of 30 children single handed, I am doing what makes it manageable for me.

Galiana · 02/09/2024 03:26

GreenTeaLikesMe · 02/09/2024 03:24

But, what is the cake for?

If it's to be eaten at a later date, well.... it will get cut at that point anyway. And I agree with others, it looks quite rude to bring a cake to a party and then refuse to serve it.

If it's never going to be eaten.... surely throwing it in the bin would be more of a shame?

Sorry, but I too would be thinking "Oh God, an Instagram type," especially if you were going all-out photographing the cake without cutting it.

I know!

This was 15 years ago, so pre-Insta.

I have no idea what was going on in my brain.

GreenTeaLikesMe · 02/09/2024 03:38

cosyleafcafe · 01/09/2024 19:44

"not really anywhere suitable to cut the cake at the venue"

What on earth is the venue?

I've cut birthday cakes out in the park on the grass, on the floor, in a forest around a camp fire, in soft plays with kids swarming around etc.

I can't think of a venue where you wouldn't be able to cut a cake.

Sorry to sound snarky, but I suspect what the OP means is "The place where I'd cut it isn't gorgeous enough to create photos worthy of my social media."

Cakes can be cut anywhere. I usually have birthday parties on a rug in the park!

TruthThatsHardAsSteel · 02/09/2024 03:40

Anon22224 · 01/09/2024 21:33

Wow, she’s 4 and the cake meant a lot to her. Her mum died actually so having a ‘mum’ make her a cake meant so much to her she couldn’t bear to have it taken away. Shes the least selfish little girl I’ve ever know actually but thanks for your comment

Show quote history

Oh, this has broken my heart a bit.

Chrysanthemum5 · 02/09/2024 03:54

My aunt used to make the birthday cakes for my children and she'd make two. One had the candles on and we'd sing happy birthday. That one went home with us for the family celebration. The second cake I cut at home before we went and wrapped it so it was all ready to go home with the children

But neither cake at around for long because cake is for eating

Galiana · 02/09/2024 03:56

There's obviously an emotional lode on birthday cakes, that actually mean a lot more than the sponge.

It's an interesting one.

It's making me a bit teary.

Galiana · 02/09/2024 03:59

I'm not sure if celebration cakes are actually for eating.

This is something I think about quite a bit.

I do think there are edible celebrations that you're not meant to eat.

You just could.

Commonsense22 · 02/09/2024 04:57

Cakes for ahow are one of my pet peeves. Nobody cares about how beautiful it is really, they just want to eat it.

DarlingCoffee · 02/09/2024 06:46

It’s weird, also a bit mean spirited. People do notice. Give them the cake.

Snugglemonkey · 02/09/2024 08:08

Goldbar · 01/09/2024 20:30

Kids at my DC's party would be pretty cheesed off about this. I made a beautiful cake last party with lots of fondant work - cars and flames and race-tracks, that sort of thing. I had lots of requests from kids I knew during the party for what they wanted on 'their' piece of cake and tried my best to accommodate them. My DC was thrilled to cut the cake with a humongous knife 'like a sword' 😂. Besides which, lots of little fingers had already been at the cake before it was cut so I'm not sure I would have wanted to take it home afterwards!

I have experienced this too. I have also had dc question why they got a cupcake and not birthday cake. Children do notice and it is disappointing if they were looking forward to it.

cosyleafcafe · 02/09/2024 08:21

Galiana · 02/09/2024 03:59

I'm not sure if celebration cakes are actually for eating.

This is something I think about quite a bit.

I do think there are edible celebrations that you're not meant to eat.

You just could.

Why?

What a waste of the ingredients if no one is going to eat it.

Do you just throw it away?

Apollo365 · 02/09/2024 08:23

Cut and serve at the party.
A friend does this and it’s bloody weird. She makes an amazing cake and no one had ever tasted it!

Goldbar · 02/09/2024 08:27

Galiana · 02/09/2024 03:59

I'm not sure if celebration cakes are actually for eating.

This is something I think about quite a bit.

I do think there are edible celebrations that you're not meant to eat.

You just could.

I'm not sure anyone is meant to be eating huge chunks of fondant but the "punishment" for parents who were not watching their children closely at my DC's last party was that those kids ended up chowing down on the fairly chunky 3D car-shaped fondant blocks with which I had lovingly adorned the cake, when I lost the battle to stop them being snatched. I would not have liked to be around for the resultant sugar rush/sore tummies 😅.

Goldbar · 02/09/2024 08:29

Galiana · 02/09/2024 02:41

I've not RTFT but I DId This.

I spent hours lovingly making a tractor cake for DS's 3rd birthday.

I couldn't cut it. Couldn't do it.

I sent everyone away with buns.

And then threw the mouldy cake in the bin a few weeks later.

Retrospectively, I think I went a bit mental.

For his fourth birthday I spent even longer making a pirate cake and party and just went with it. It was fine.

That tractor cake? No.

We all have our moments 😂.

Swipe left for the next trending thread