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Original poster

To make a birthday cake and not cut it

207 replies

Miaowm · 01/09/2024 19:12

I want to make my daughter’s birthday cake as I do every year. This is the first year she will
be having a party with friends and family at a venue. I wanted to take the cake for singing and then hand out matching cupcakes. Is this out of order?
A couple of reasons for this, not really anywhere suitable to cut the cake at the venue and I really don’t want a cake I’ve spent ages on to be crushed in a party bag then thrown away

OP posts:
pizzaHeart · 01/09/2024 21:12

OnlyWhenILaugh · 01/09/2024 19:21

If the cake is to be eaten at a different time I think it should be kept for that different time. Otherwise it seems like you want to show off the cake to the party guests who aren't good enough to eat it.

This^
I think this idea is very strange.
are you going to eat cake or not?

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 01/09/2024 21:15

No. Have two cakes. A shop bought tray bake cake for the party and your fancy one to cut at home.

ItsVeryHyacinthBucket · 01/09/2024 21:15

I’ve done this before, although I cut and handed round the “main cake” for adults/party tea ‘pudding’ and then put cupcakes in the party bags. Not sure but think you could get away with whisking the main cake away and handing out cupcakes instead.

Sleepersausage · 01/09/2024 21:16

Thepartnersdesk · 01/09/2024 20:18

And my kids have never once questioned if it's the 'real cake ' from any party they've ever been to

My DD still remembers getting shafted on birthday cake when she was 3, so yes people definitely do notice!

Anon22224 · 01/09/2024 21:22

I just did this today, my daughter point blank refused for me to cut the cake and hand it out, it’s still not been cut now! Luckily I had brought cupcakes to give out just in case that happened. I was quite embarrassed by it but I wasn’t going to make my 4 yo distraught at her own party!

DeLoreanLaura · 01/09/2024 21:22

TheYearOfSmallThings · 01/09/2024 20:59

You can't just wave a knife around after plonking the cake down on any old surface in a kid's party venue . So how exactly is she supposed to just cut it up and distribute it?

The same way every other parent manages to do with no difficulty whatsoever. You don't "wave a knife around", you just slice the cake, slide the bits onto paper plates, and pass them around. This is what happens at 99% of parties.

Well the waving a knife around doesn't happen when people are cutting the cake. It's when they get distracted by questions and don't put it down. I've seen people gesticulating , knife in hand or holding it with the sharp edge facing outwards. In a venue with kids running around you can guess what might happen.

Quite a few venues near us don't allow cake cutting. They have no food prep areas or even enclosed space, everything has to be laid out in the main party area itself.
It may sound over the top as, to you they're just slicing the cake.
But it only takes a few seconds of inattention to cause danger.

Easy solution just don't do a massive cake cutting or have already cut slices to hand out.

Autumn1990 · 01/09/2024 21:23

I always give out a different cake to the one that had the candles on. Totally normal where I live. Some mums put cupcakes in the party in nice little boxes. I just made a separate cake. It was wrapped and in bags before we had left home for the party venue

OnlyWhenILaugh · 01/09/2024 21:26

Autumn1990 · 01/09/2024 21:23

I always give out a different cake to the one that had the candles on. Totally normal where I live. Some mums put cupcakes in the party in nice little boxes. I just made a separate cake. It was wrapped and in bags before we had left home for the party venue

2 identical cakes, one cut up in advance I could possibly see the logic of.
But a "show cake" that's not for party goers to eat is rude.

rustypickax · 01/09/2024 21:26

Anon22224 · 01/09/2024 21:22

I just did this today, my daughter point blank refused for me to cut the cake and hand it out, it’s still not been cut now! Luckily I had brought cupcakes to give out just in case that happened. I was quite embarrassed by it but I wasn’t going to make my 4 yo distraught at her own party!

So you're teaching your kid it's ok to be selfish when everyone has made the effort to turn up at her party.

Anon22224 · 01/09/2024 21:33

rustypickax · 01/09/2024 21:26

So you're teaching your kid it's ok to be selfish when everyone has made the effort to turn up at her party.

Show quote history

Wow, she’s 4 and the cake meant a lot to her. Her mum died actually so having a ‘mum’ make her a cake meant so much to her she couldn’t bear to have it taken away. Shes the least selfish little girl I’ve ever know actually but thanks for your comment

Gowlett · 01/09/2024 21:49

I don’t understand this… Will the cake not be eaten at the party?

Alifemoreordinary123 · 01/09/2024 21:50

I’ve done this before - it’s absolutely fine and I wouldn’t give it a second thought (especially if cupcakes are matching)

Moonshine5 · 01/09/2024 21:51

Do you understand what the purpose of a birthday cake is lol

rustypickax · 01/09/2024 22:01

@Anon22224 i didn't say she is selfish, I'm saying by doing that you're teaching her to be selfish. Parties are for sharing joy and the coming together of loved ones (as symbolised by the sharing of the cake). I didn't say it was easy either. But sometimes taking short cuts leads to problems further down the line. I'm sorry for your loss.

QuillBill · 01/09/2024 22:06

Wow, she’s 4 and the cake meant a lot to her.

And it's OK that it meant a lot to her but a cake at a birthday party is there to be enjoyed. Explaining that and demonstrating that to her is a part of being a parent just as much as having a cake at a birthday party and sharing it with your friends is a part of having a birthday party.

Russiandollsaresofullofthemselves · 01/09/2024 22:20

I will never ever understand why people don’t cut cake and eat it immediately while at the party. I know it is the done thing to put it in party bags but I find it odd.

Cobblersorchard · 01/09/2024 22:44

Russiandollsaresofullofthemselves · 01/09/2024 22:20

I will never ever understand why people don’t cut cake and eat it immediately while at the party. I know it is the done thing to put it in party bags but I find it odd.

Depends on the age of the kids and the type of party, what else they are having etc

At the soft play type parties here they get jelly and ice cream pudding so don’t want cake on top in a short party (1.5-2hrs) - they’d rather play as they are usually under 5.

Different once they are school aged I think.

We aren’t serving cake at DD’s 5th this month - because it’s in a village hall with a tight turnaround and I don’t want to clean it up and it’s the norm to serve in party bags and far easier.

But I expect that to change as DD ages.

k1233 · 01/09/2024 22:52

You can do "cakes" that are really just a lot of cup cakes. That's what I would do if you're thinking on giving out cupcakes.

Google cupcake cake or pull apart cakes. You don't need to ice individually.

Edingril · 01/09/2024 22:52

It makes no sense to me i would just have the cupcakes

TheYearOfSmallThings · 01/09/2024 22:55

DeLoreanLaura · 01/09/2024 21:22

Well the waving a knife around doesn't happen when people are cutting the cake. It's when they get distracted by questions and don't put it down. I've seen people gesticulating , knife in hand or holding it with the sharp edge facing outwards. In a venue with kids running around you can guess what might happen.

Quite a few venues near us don't allow cake cutting. They have no food prep areas or even enclosed space, everything has to be laid out in the main party area itself.
It may sound over the top as, to you they're just slicing the cake.
But it only takes a few seconds of inattention to cause danger.

Easy solution just don't do a massive cake cutting or have already cut slices to hand out.

Edited
Show quote history

I remain entirely unconvinced that cutting a birthday cake into slices is difficult or dangerous.

Wtafdidido · 01/09/2024 22:59

I did this. Baked the cake but kept it for sharing at home at a family gathering but did matching cupcakes individually boxed up in advance for the kids to take home.

TheFluffiestCat · 01/09/2024 23:00

This happened at DD's nursery friend's party about 7 years ago and I still remember how weird it was. Beautiful cake produced just for photos and the guests were given Tesco cupcakes.

Goldbar · 01/09/2024 23:24

I can understand baking a nice cake and not wanting to waste it on a free-for-all scrum class party.

But I don't think you can then display it at the party. Just keep it for the family party or wherever you're planning actually to eat it.

The kids think they're going to get the cake on the table. That's why they all crowd round and you spend half the party swatting little fingers away from it. It's ok, I think, to "trick" them by substituting a duplicate cake but boring old cupcakes are a bit of a letdown.

MumDadBingoBlueyy · 01/09/2024 23:28

We just had a cheap supermarket cake for our daughters party, made a cake for at home, solely as her younger sister has allergies 🙈

Bbq1 · 02/09/2024 00:03

AnnaKorine · 01/09/2024 19:27

Yes it’s weird. Use the cup cakes with a candle for singing, don’t show off a cake you aren’t willing to hand out.

People will notice it's a different cake. It's really stingy and you are basically saying to the guests, "Look at the wonderful cake we made/bought for our precious child. You can look but your children aren't good enough to eat it so are getting a bit of traybake instead". Strange.