Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To make a birthday cake and not cut it

207 replies

Miaowm · 01/09/2024 19:12

I want to make my daughter’s birthday cake as I do every year. This is the first year she will
be having a party with friends and family at a venue. I wanted to take the cake for singing and then hand out matching cupcakes. Is this out of order?
A couple of reasons for this, not really anywhere suitable to cut the cake at the venue and I really don’t want a cake I’ve spent ages on to be crushed in a party bag then thrown away

OP posts:
time2changeCharlieBrown · 01/09/2024 20:27

GottaLoveBluey · 01/09/2024 19:29

We went to a party and the cake was obviously specially made. It was beautiful like they always are (and massive!) I was very suprised to find supermarket cake in the party bag and I'm not going to lie thought it was a bit tight for not sharing the happy birthday cake out!!!!! I guess I assumed they were having another party the next day at home or something but if not I think it's a little stingy! Like what would you do with an entire cake yourself!? If you made a nice big one you could give half out at the party then keep half for party tea at home or whatever X

Same we’ve had this and even the kids were disappointed and noticed the crap little supermarket cheap cupcake went in the bin

only had this a couple of times and thought it was strange

usually the home made cake is in the party bag and is definitely appreciated, squashed or not

or sometimes the host cut it and hand it out at the party to be eaten at the time by those who want it (even parents are lucky sometimes)

i would not do what you are thinking
if you really don’t want to cut it but want to show it then I’d make a separate second one to cut because imo people do notice (although perhaps not everyone judging by your thread)

ladymalfoy45 · 01/09/2024 20:27

@BarbaraHoward oh Babs. I just meant I'd never thought of putting them in a party bag before. I'm sure you knew what I meant.

RobinHood19 · 01/09/2024 20:29

Cultural differences are so interesting. I will never understand not eating cake at a birthday party. Surely that’s the point of holding a party! Why would anyone want to go home with a piece of cake…

Autumnalapples · 01/09/2024 20:29

My children never ate the cake, it got squashed and binned. I would have preferred to be given slice at party.

Goldbar · 01/09/2024 20:30

Kids at my DC's party would be pretty cheesed off about this. I made a beautiful cake last party with lots of fondant work - cars and flames and race-tracks, that sort of thing. I had lots of requests from kids I knew during the party for what they wanted on 'their' piece of cake and tried my best to accommodate them. My DC was thrilled to cut the cake with a humongous knife 'like a sword' 😂. Besides which, lots of little fingers had already been at the cake before it was cut so I'm not sure I would have wanted to take it home afterwards!

isitme111 · 01/09/2024 20:33

It's weird, rude and tight - very poor hosting. If you want to keep it for yourselves just bring a different cake / cupcakes to share at the party and save fawning over your wonderful cake for the privacy of your own home.

DeLoreanLaura · 01/09/2024 20:39

time2changeCharlieBrown · 01/09/2024 20:27

Same we’ve had this and even the kids were disappointed and noticed the crap little supermarket cheap cupcake went in the bin

only had this a couple of times and thought it was strange

usually the home made cake is in the party bag and is definitely appreciated, squashed or not

or sometimes the host cut it and hand it out at the party to be eaten at the time by those who want it (even parents are lucky sometimes)

i would not do what you are thinking
if you really don’t want to cut it but want to show it then I’d make a separate second one to cut because imo people do notice (although perhaps not everyone judging by your thread)

Show quote history

It looks the quality difference is the issue, and it really depends on how elaborate the cake is!
OP YABVVU to make it clear that the guys aren't getting any of the party cake.
Either make a pared down version to cut and give away in party bags, or go 100% cheap supermarket for all of it.

Fathercrispness · 01/09/2024 20:40

I hate handing out the cake in party bags too, so I’ve started doing the blowing out the candles just before the food and then handing out the cake as dessert (including to adults) so that it is appreciated. It always goes down well. Are you sure there is no table or side to cut the cake on and hand out on paper plates?

Izzymoon · 01/09/2024 20:41

Really weird, kids will see the cake and look forward to be because it’s a birthday party and if you sing around a cake it usually means you then eat it.

BarbaraHoward · 01/09/2024 20:41

ladymalfoy45 · 01/09/2024 20:27

@BarbaraHoward oh Babs. I just meant I'd never thought of putting them in a party bag before. I'm sure you knew what I meant.

Honestly, given the topic of the thread and the post that mentioned mini rolls and the alternative to the actual cake, no that wasn't clear at all.

Unexpecteddrivinginstructor · 01/09/2024 20:44

I will put my hand up to say I have done similar. The cake for the children was made and decorated alongside the 'show' cake so it had the same icing, cake, size, shape, general theme decoration, etc.

The reason was that there were quite a lot of children - about 30 (whole class party), we were doing the entertainment ourselves, it took time picking out the candles/ wax, cutting up cake, wrapping it and putting it in party bags (yeah weird English traditions but all parties around here were like that). Time that I really needed to be out with the guests entertaining them/ stopping them from descending into total chaos/ congratulating myself on not becoming a primary school teacher. The 'show' cake was whisked away to the kitchen so the children were not aware it was a different cake, taken home, shared for a couple of days in our family, a few slices went in the freezer and were eaten for packed lunches. Bonus was that the cake for the guests had not been blown on by the birthday child.

I think I got the idea from MN after moaning a previous year about missing 10 mins of the party cutting up cake and wrapping it for 30 kids.

Rest assured the cake was all eaten and no children were traumatised by having a pre sliced duplicate cake!

bringincrazyback · 01/09/2024 20:45

Nah, just cut it up and distribute it, it's what a cake's for (and you might have people thinking it's a fake cake otherwise 😁) Cakes are for cutting up and eating. Just make sure you take photos beforehand to remember your handiwork by! 🍰

SunQueen24 · 01/09/2024 20:46

I’ve seen people use the special cake to sing “happy birthday” and then cut a supermarket cake for party bags. I did it this year because we had a family party too so used the candle cake twice.

MissAmbrosia · 01/09/2024 20:47

Have a cake, do candles and serve the bloody cake - that is what it is for. I'm agog that it's for take home or another time or whatever.

cookiebee · 01/09/2024 20:50

This has got to be the most joyless idea I’ve ever heard, it’s a bloody kids party, which means fun, jelly and ice cream and a cake that the birthday kid spits all over while blowing out the candles which then gets mangled and definitely enjoyed later by all the kids, cake tastes much better warmed through in a party bag. There should also be a slightly creepy magician, musical chairs, pass the parcel, which is cheap crap wrapped in newspaper and just general mayhem. NOT a beautiful cake that no one is allowed to touch and is then squirrelled away for the family later. Everyone has taken the time to dress up, turn up, bring a present, at least offer the actual bloody cake, things have gotten so weird and complicated these days!

DeLoreanLaura · 01/09/2024 20:51

bringincrazyback · 01/09/2024 20:45

Nah, just cut it up and distribute it, it's what a cake's for (and you might have people thinking it's a fake cake otherwise 😁) Cakes are for cutting up and eating. Just make sure you take photos beforehand to remember your handiwork by! 🍰

There are loads of comments like this, and I just have to point out. .. OP doesn't have a problem with the cake being eaten.

She has a problem with the cake not being eaten - i.e. destroyed then binned without a second thought. Also a lack of cutting space. You can't just wave a knife around after plonking the cake down on any old surface in a kid's party venue . So how exactly is she supposed to just cut it up and distribute it?

Tbh if this was a big problem OP should have chosen a different venue but unlike @cookiebee I don't think she's trying to squirrel the cake away, being snobbish or anything else insinuated here.

Goldbar · 01/09/2024 20:53

Everyone has taken the time to dress up, turn up, bring a present, at least offer the actual bloody cake, things have gotten so weird and complicated these days!

This. Children's parties are a huge amount of effort but each parent only has to do one per child per year at most. And all the other parents go to the effort of buying and wrapping a present and attending. It's a reciprocal social arrangement for the children's benefit.

justasmalltownmum · 01/09/2024 20:55

Weird to have a just a show cake.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 01/09/2024 20:56

MinervaMcGonagallsCat · 01/09/2024 19:31

Buy a cheap cake for the party and keep the fancy one for at home.

Do this.

If my son sees a cake, the whole time he is singing happy birthday he is staring at the cake and drooling. When the singing stops, he begins to close in on the cake, and if you tried to palm him off with a cupcake he would be vocally disappointed. Whereas if you just bring a Colin the Caterpillar and hack it into chunks, he will be perfectly happy.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 01/09/2024 20:59

You can't just wave a knife around after plonking the cake down on any old surface in a kid's party venue . So how exactly is she supposed to just cut it up and distribute it?

The same way every other parent manages to do with no difficulty whatsoever. You don't "wave a knife around", you just slice the cake, slide the bits onto paper plates, and pass them around. This is what happens at 99% of parties.

Sleepersausage · 01/09/2024 21:05

I have a friend who does this every year and I find it utterly bonkers. Parties are always themed with a matching cake that gets whipped away and the kids given cake pops.

Xmasbaby11 · 01/09/2024 21:09

I've been on the receiving end of this - beautiful cake for display, cheap supermarket one in the party bag! My dd noticed, as did I, and it was disappointing. However, I would say we both love cake and probably pay more attention than average.

Pastapenguin · 01/09/2024 21:10

This has happened at every single party my kids have been invited to this year apart from their own. The kids went absolutely mad when we actually started cutting the cake up at my DD’s party!

PyongyangKipperbang · 01/09/2024 21:11

Seems to be a bit too much like showing off to me. You want everyone to see and coo over the cake without actually getting any of it. Either everyone sees it and eats it or you save it for home.

PicturesOfLily · 01/09/2024 21:12

I was worried about making/transporting a cake big enough for DDs party last year so I made a traybake alongside a smaller cake, same flavour, icing and decoration, which I pre-cut and put into the party bags. If you’re making the cupcakes too then I’d put it all out at the party and cupcakes in bags.