To think this is too early for a house guest to get up?

[morningbbrew]

My husband's sister and her husband are staying over for the weekend. They don't have children we have two young teens but they are both at friends this weekend.

DBIL has just gone to bed and cheerily announced as he did that he would be going out for a run at 6.00am and would bring a key (they have a spare as they house sit sometimes). Plus he casually mentioned something about making a smoothie beforehand so it actually sounds like he's getting up at more like 5.30am.

Neither DH or I are confrontational and so we both just sort of sat there shocked. But I am just not sure what to say. Our house isn't tiny but equally I am pretty sure all his getting ready etc is going to mean we wake up. And weekend lie ins are rare with two kids and associated activities!

I mean I guess he could be joking but he's not really that kind of person. His wife (DH sister) is normally quite sensible and she didn't seem at all embarrassed about it which is making me worry we are the weird ones for being a bit horrified!

FGS nobody in the history of the universe has ever seen a "Polite notice" and thought how nice it was. Just let him crack on and dont treat him like a baby with notes left for him, unless you want them to never return.

@pizzaHeart he doesn't need her permission to go for a run.

@morningbbrew I wouldn't say anything about the smoothies this time, but next time they're planning to come ask him to make it the night before or bring a bottled smoothie.

I'd go for no showering before 9am if the shower is next to your bedroom.

Plus another vote for hide the blender.

My ex in laws always did this. Stayed over and always up at 5am. Could hear them trying not to make noise, and making lots of it. I would then get up about 7.30am to be confronted by questions about where we were going that day; what the weather was like etc
Did my head in.

I'd say the smoothie maker is too noisy make one now and fridge it please and can you wait for your shower until we get up at around........as it's very noisy.

Tbh if he starts dicking about with the blender at 5.30 am he won't be invited back anyway 🤷‍♀️

I rise at the crack of dawn, my BFF sleeps in. We're in the US in a well built (ie no thin walls) single story with her kitchen at one end and her bedroom at the other. 'My' bedroom is in between. When I'm at hers I tiptoe into the kitchen and make a cup of coffee & a slice of toast then tiptoe back to my room for breakfast 'in bed' and watch Netflx until she gets up. She's told me she really can't hear noises from the kitchen unless you're slamming cupboards or such. But I wouldn't dream of using a blender or other noisy appliance. It's just common courtesy to adapt to the rules/schedule of your host and try not to disturb them.

I agree, hide the blender and leave him a note saying you’ve just remembered it’s broken but he’s welcome to a banana and a glass of water!

I’d only leave the note because otherwise he’ll start banging about looking for it.

It isn’t ‘confrontational’ to say “if you want a smoothie, do you want to make it now and put it in the fridge? Because there’s no way I want to be woken up before 8, thanks’”

Communicate! Use your words! They are fam’ly!

You can't do anything about tomorrow now. But if he wakes you up with the blender tomorrow you just need to tell him to make whatever the night before.

Run is absolutely fine, I'd expect him to know not to bang about at that time. Leave a polite note re smoothie offering fruit/ other quiet things to keep him going. You could even leave next to note to minimise rummaging

That’s completely insane but I wouldn’t panic yet. You probably would sleep straight through a blender. It’s white noise no?

Door slamming probably more likely to be a problem. But you don’t know he’s going to do that,

I would just see what happens.

Is sil still up?

I find it strange when a house guest tells you their morning plan, without asking.

I couldn't imagine making this decision without asking if it was ok with the owner.

It's poor tact because if he had asked, you would have said it was fine. Then you would be annoyed at yourself.

Instead he has TOLD you that HE is going for a run, the time HE is going, and how HE will have sustenance first by way of smoothie.

My sister did this to me when we were child free and I was 6 months pregnant with my first. I wasn't keen on the idea but she asked to move in with us for over a month due to a breakup. I didn't feel I could say no but amongst many other things she never asked if it was ok to leave to go to an exercise class before work, she just went ahead and did it, woke the dog up on her way out, who barked the house down at some silly hour.

She then told me for the bank holiday she would be going to her class again but an hour later and had booked it. Again didn't ask and made out she was doing ME a favour because it was later - when I said that's early for a bank holiday she said 'no it's not' and went anyway.

My dad usually wakes up early (like 4am) even if he stays over at either of my grandma's. I don't think he's ever woken them up though, makes a cup of coffee and watches tv.

It would be fine for me so long as he was quiet, but then again I live in an old house where someone can be using a hair dryer in the room next door at 6am and I wouldn't hear it.

My PILs house on the other hand is newer, with super thin walls, and every little noise is audible.

If you think there's any chance you will hear the blender, definitely leave a note "Hi, please could you avoid using the blender before 7am, we are exhausted and hoping for a lie in. Thank you" or something similar.

I think this is pretty rude because:

a) It was only 9pm on a Saturday evening when you posted, so it's a bit antisocial for him to disappear off to bed like he's eight years old;
b) Unless he's an actual mouse it's fairly likely that he will disturb you;
c) He doesn't appear to have asked whether it's okay to use your ingredients to make his smoothie.

Also, why the fuck does anyone need to get up at 5.30am on a Sunday when they're visiting family? I'm sure he could go out at 7 o'clock or 7.30 and still be ready to join in with the day's plans.

I detest early risers if they are inconsiderate and/or sanctimonious about it.

@morningbbrew I would be hiding the smoothie maker or blender at the bottom of my wardrobe!!

Unless he's brought his own one of those fancy expensive silent blenders then he's clearly a bell end. I'm not ruling out this possibility and it sounds like he's brought his own food if he is so confident that the smoothie ingredients will be readily available to him in someone else's house, so maybe he brought a blender too.
The actual getting up at 5:30 doesn't bother me. He's an adult. He can get up or go to bed whenever he likes.

I did once wake my entire household up at 4:30am on Easter Sunday with the smoke alarm because I got up to put a leg of lamb in to slow cook for seven hours and I had to brown it off in a pan first. I didn't realise lamb smoked so much. Oops.

I think OP meant "take a key (with him)", so he can let himself back in. That confused me too at first.

It's not unreasonable to get up at 6am. Different people have different sleep/wake patterns. Surely you know this. Do you expect him to lie in bed until you deem it an appropriate time to be up? Don't be silly.

But YANBU to expect him not to make noise at 5.30am and wake the house up making a smoothie. Just ask him to do that the night before or after his run.

I don't think you can do anything now but I don't understand a grown man going to bad at 9.30 on a Saturday night, especially when he is visiting family. I can't explain it but it gives me the massive ick 😖

@morningbbrew by the way, can someone tell my who looks after the house sitters house when they are looking after yours????

Oh god, I ve just had flashbacks to the rage I'd feel when next-door neighbours girlfriend would stay over and make a smoothie at 5.30 before going for run. At least I assume that's what she was doing, I spent ages trying to figure out why someone would be using a power tool at that hour and finally dawned on me must be a blender. You have my sympathy OP!