To think this is too early for a house guest to get up?

[morningbbrew]

My husband's sister and her husband are staying over for the weekend. They don't have children we have two young teens but they are both at friends this weekend.

DBIL has just gone to bed and cheerily announced as he did that he would be going out for a run at 6.00am and would bring a key (they have a spare as they house sit sometimes). Plus he casually mentioned something about making a smoothie beforehand so it actually sounds like he's getting up at more like 5.30am.

Neither DH or I are confrontational and so we both just sort of sat there shocked. But I am just not sure what to say. Our house isn't tiny but equally I am pretty sure all his getting ready etc is going to mean we wake up. And weekend lie ins are rare with two kids and associated activities!

I mean I guess he could be joking but he's not really that kind of person. His wife (DH sister) is normally quite sensible and she didn't seem at all embarrassed about it which is making me worry we are the weird ones for being a bit horrified!

Sadly I am a bit addicted/selfish about exercise. I have done at least 45 minutes of cardio, usually running, every single day for 4 years now (and the streak is longer if you pretend to forget about the 2 days I missed in 2020 when I had a nasty injury). Regular exercise has benefited me in so many ways - but I am
naturally sedentary and I worry that once I miss a day it will be a slippery slope to missing days/weeks regularly as has happened in the past.

Its not great but I am very much an all or nothing person when it comes to diet and exercise.

As long as you enjoy it, that’s the main thing. I don’t think you’re selfish about it at all though.

tell him getting up and going for a run is fine, but to make his smoothie the night before.

when we have guests I make sure they know they can help themselves to tea or coffee, so they don't need to wake me up if they're up. they can get up, have a drink, help themselves to any food we have, watch TV (I always tell them which remotes do what) and I'll be up when I'm up.

You didn't read the bit about the smoothie, did you? I have a smoothie most mornings and making it is LOUD! The blender is noisy as hell.

I have a no noise rule before 8am rule at the weekend, and tell guests this when they come to stay-7am in the week- if they want to run and make smoothies at 6am they can wait until they get home. No noise before 7.30 at the weekend is something delivery people and contractors have to adhere to BY LAW so if they demur , mention this- it has been decided by the High Court so it cannot be seen as unreasonable.
I would also take the house key away when they are not house sitting-it seems as if they are far too comfortable with treating your home as theirs. your wish to be non confrontational is being taken advantage of-big time, now is the time to close it down.

No problem if he wants to pop out for an early run but he should make his smoothie before bed so it's good to go in the morning and he doesn't wake everyone

Only a morning person would say that 6 am isn't that bad. To anyone who doesn't sleep well or go to bed before midnight, 6 am is way too early. 7am, not so bad, 8am even better. At 8am, you still have 4 hours left of morning you numpties. You're a guest for crying out loud, be considerate and respectful of their schedule/routine.

absolutely. You have no say when they do or don't wake up. But they also should be considerate and not just go banging around and wake YOU up.

I mean, I suppose we have "no say" about how our guests behave. But equally we absolutely do have a say in whether we invite them to stay again....

(We've made it clear that any future visits are dependent on not being woken at silly o'clock)

wrong. You DO have a say in how they behave. But when they go to bed and wake up aren't included in that. They are adults. They can sleep and wake up when they want. I reiterate, if they DO get up earlier than you, it's on them not to be inconsiderate douchebags and clank everythjing around in the kitchen, speak in loud voices etc...
If you told me when I had to go to bed or wake up, I'd tell you to kiss my asss, leave and reconsider our friendship. That is a bit much to do to a full grown adult, guest or not.
so yes, you are being unreasonable telling them they are "getting up to early"
You are NOT being unreasonable, however, to expect to be able to sleep til whatever time you choose.
You all need to act like adults, plain and simple.

I'm absolutely allowed to decide who gets invited back to my house to stay agan/how often they are invited to stay.

I don't know what made you decide to jump on here and get in such a rage with me this morning maybe you didn't get enough sleep but if you had read the thread you would know I have a difficult health condition and adequate sleep is important so there is absolutely nothing unpleasant about me choosing to prioritise my health.

I understand your frustration but also understand that for your guests it might sound normal so it probably wouldn’t feel wrong and they don’t know how disturbing it may be for you.

I learned that there are so many different people so it’s not worth assuming that they can imagine how hard it is for you that simple smoothie at 5.30am.

I think it’s better letting them know that noise at 5.30am must be avoided, in a kind but straight forward manner so they will know what it is causing to you.
if they are nice people they would simply say they will do their best to avoid disturbance.

if they are not next time they will go to a hotel with no guilt on your side!
putting boundaries is not being rude

it's 8 pm for me because the world is a LOT bigger than just North America. I answered your question. You got REALLY snotty. I explained myself. You got even snottier. So then I just called it like I see it.
If you and your health is so fragile that you can't stand it if someone's schedule doesn't EXACTLY match yours, maybe you shouldn't invite people over. I reiterate, YOU CAN JUST ACT LIKE AN ADULT and tell them about your health issues and that a requirement of staying at your place is to be considerate of your sleep schedule. But to insist that they do not get up until you do? Unreasonable. Completely, and absolutely unreasonable.
Again, you asked this question. If you are going to get so upset by people that don't agree with you, stop asking questions.

North America?
Your posts don't even make sense

”YOU CAN JUST ACT LIKE AN ADULT”.

Wtf. 🤣🤣🤣 YWBU to take advice off someone having a Timmy temper tantrum.

They went from 0 to 100 😭😂 I was like wow well that escalated quickly.

So what happened then?

I find difficult to accept that it is strange for some people that guests should act in a way that doesn’t impact hosts as a general rule and that it seems that entitlement is becoming the norm..

you don’t need a health condition to justify that guests must act pleasantly in order to be welcome. It should be the start for any healthy relationship under the same roof, even with family members we shouldn’t act in a way that is disturbing

What did they say when you told them future visits would depend on being considerate in the early morning?

SIL apologised for disturbing us fair and seemed reasonably apologetic, BIL was a bit quieter

A decent person would have their gear ready and slip out without a sound.

Your BIL is a selfish entitled twat.
Well done for spelling it out.

Absolutely clearly repeat it with zero apologies for making yourself crystal clear to HIM of your expectations.

Its the only way to deal with twats like him.

I know. 😆 At least it explains the random YABU votes and the type of people that usually vote against the majority.