To be so over my tight, selfish DH every birthday

[IAmMyUtterLackOfSurprise]

I turned 57 yesterday. Birthday was a text from husband saying sorry for using last of milk, whoops happy birthday, kids up late, a card eventually. No card from DH, bottle of Lidl wine and a bunch of flowers. Booked dinner out for tonight but cancelled because DH work, rebooked for tomorrow, having had ‘well, I’m not bothered, but if YOU REALLY WANT TO’.

FB scrolling tonight I see a string quartet Coldplay concert by candlelight, not too far away, in an old priory, say ‘ooh, I’ve found a birthday pressy’ and his response was ‘hmph, not my sort of thing’..then ‘what, instead of dinner? What did you get me?’ (30 yr old scotch, dinner out with wine and a book actually’.

I fucking love Coldplay but will ever be able to afford to see them live, I thought this would be a lovely evening and cheapest tickets are £21 each.

Am I being stupid and unreasonable to just fucking want to be spoilt for one fucking birthday? My family have always been hard up so I’ve not had one birthday where it feels like a celebration.

I know this is first world problems, but am I being unreasonable to want to feel the centre of the world for ONE day?

What a lovely update!

Fantastic update, so happy for you OP.
The start of many new experiences, fun times and putting yourself first I hope 💖

What a great update! You had a smashing time and made a new friend - wonderful.

Thanks for coming back and letting us know you got to go. Hope it was all you wanted it to be🙂
My birthday is in August too and there have been so many occasions when my husband's done the bare minimum to mark it. I remember one time saying I wanted to go to a show at an open air theatre. He obviously wasn't keen but did come. Bought me a drink but wouldn't buy one for himself because they were too expensive (they weren't and he could afford it - just thought they were over-priced)

I think what's most irritating is the lack of effort. Not really thinking enough about what we would really like. Yet being able to talk for hours about footy or bikes. Then rushing out last minute to buy something - anything... One year I got a knife block - never in our time together had I expressed any interest whatsoever in kitchen knives.
Recently I've just organised what I want to do/go and see. He accompanies me but not always with a good grace. It's as if they don't like it when the focus isn't on them. Sigh...
Well done for getting to the concert - here's to many more👌

Sometimes I think I'll leave MN because of all the bunfights. But then I see posts like this and think I'll hang around a bit longer ❤️

OP absolutely outstanding..thank you to you and the mystery MN'r 🥰

Love this

Well done you and especially that mystery MNer. I hope you continue to meet up and have fun. Your husband will just have to get over himself.

Such a great update. I hope you both become the best of friends

Great update, OP. Hope this is the start of a new lease of life.

Oh fabulous!

What a lovely update.

Aw I am so pleased you updated us.

Have you told the selfish lazy arse how it makes you feel and how important it is to you?
Book the ticket will a friend go?

This has to be one of the best updates I have ever seen on mumsnet!

By the Power of MUMSNET!!!

What a lovely update! Yay!

What a gorgeous update. I hope the miserable fucker thinks on about a total stranger finding more enjoyment in celebrating his wife's birthday than he could manage.
I hope this is the start of a brilliant friendship and a wonderful next chapter in your life.

What a lovely update! May the two of you meet for more adventures and sod your fun sponge of a husband.

Lovely update.

your update made me smile

Just think , when you're in your dotage and reminiscing with your DCs and DGCs you will have lovely memories of the new friend you met on MN and went to a wonderful concert together and went on fab adventures with other friends you met through her and your joint interests and pursuits ...after you'd been forced to leave your lazy , careless , selfish funsponge behind .
Aforementioned Funsponge will only have a memory of NOT going to a lovely concert, and then of losing his beautiful wife .
The dick .

Bloody well put! Hopefully no longer strangers, but well on the way to becoming close friends. What a fabulous bunch the vipers can be. Delighted to read your update, OP.

So pleased you've has a wonderful evening and hopefully found a new friend !

Love this! Happy belated birthday and what a fun random birthday treat with mnetter!