To be so over my tight, selfish DH every birthday

[IAmMyUtterLackOfSurprise]

I turned 57 yesterday. Birthday was a text from husband saying sorry for using last of milk, whoops happy birthday, kids up late, a card eventually. No card from DH, bottle of Lidl wine and a bunch of flowers. Booked dinner out for tonight but cancelled because DH work, rebooked for tomorrow, having had ‘well, I’m not bothered, but if YOU REALLY WANT TO’.

FB scrolling tonight I see a string quartet Coldplay concert by candlelight, not too far away, in an old priory, say ‘ooh, I’ve found a birthday pressy’ and his response was ‘hmph, not my sort of thing’..then ‘what, instead of dinner? What did you get me?’ (30 yr old scotch, dinner out with wine and a book actually’.

I fucking love Coldplay but will ever be able to afford to see them live, I thought this would be a lovely evening and cheapest tickets are £21 each.

Am I being stupid and unreasonable to just fucking want to be spoilt for one fucking birthday? My family have always been hard up so I’ve not had one birthday where it feels like a celebration.

I know this is first world problems, but am I being unreasonable to want to feel the centre of the world for ONE day?

I’m not crying, you’re crying, shut up

Happy birthday
Hope that you both enjoyed the concert together !

Well done Mumsnet !

Love it! 😻

This has got to be one of the best updates I’ve read.
I hope you’ve made a new friend OP x

What a brilliant update! So glad you had a good evening and you've found a new friend!

Excellent update. So happy for you. I made a friend from mn years ago still in contact.

Book the ticket/s and go. Buy yourself a birthday cake.

Then when you come home and have finished the cake start a savings account called “Celebrating 60” and make a direct debit to go into it every month. You don’t have to decide now what you will do in three years time but at least you will have the money to fund your weekend to Seville/New York/posh spa when the time comes.

🎂🍾🎶

Just spotted the update. What a lovely story to warm the heart on a chilly autumn morning.

I am sorry to read this. YANBU. Your husband is giving the impression that he really didn’t care about you. How is your relationship otherwise?

I'm so glad you updated, OP!

Concert and mystery MN-er sound brilliant.

I'm glad you're reconsidering how you want to spend the second half of your life. You deserve better.

Fab update…I seem to have something in my eye 🥹

Definitely book the ticket, either just take yourself or go with a friend. On his next birthday get him a Lynx shower gel set and leave it at that!

Buy one ticket, get drunk and consider kicking him out the next day.

Take it from someone who was with someone for 15 years and never felt that special so now with someone who treats me like a princess - it's never too late to make the best change of your life!

Wishing you a wonderful birthday and many more to come. Life is for living!

Wow! That's a great update, so happy for you @IAmMyUtterLackOfSurprise and how brave of you both to go together when you don't know each other 🤗

So lovely to read!! Glad you got to enjoy Coldplay by candlelight! Hope the miserable bugger feels guilty for not spoiling you like you do him!

Hurrah, that’s great news!

Such a lovely update. Glad you had fun OP!!

Hope you get more opportunities to leave the loser husband at home and enjoy yourself.

Oh my goodness. Mumsnet at its very best. I’m so glad you had a lovely time.

This has got to be my favourite thread update ever. I’m so happy you and mystery MN-er had a good time, wishing you both a fantastic long and happy friendship and happy belated birthday! Please make this the year you do more for yourself without your ass of a DP!

That’s delightful, what a lovely MNer🤗 glad you had a lovely time xxx

Heart warming. ❤️

That's brilliant that you went! You said near the start
Im wishing I was younger, slimmer, prettier, to attract attention from elsewhere to feel seen.

I think doing something like the concert, for yourself, is you taking time to 'see' yourself. You don't need to wait for others to 'see' you, it sounds as though your useless DH isn't going to bother but that doesn't mean you should give up on what makes you happy.

This is amazing!

Thanks for putting a Saturday morning smile on my face.

Well, this is so lovely. Thanks for updating us OP. So glad you enjoyed yourself. This is your time now. The world is your oyster 😍

Exactly this!!