He says I can't meet his friends until I get a promotion??

[Burritowrap]

I have been seeing someone for around a year now. We are exclusive and see each other twice a week or so.
He has been on a beach trip with my friends but seemed awkward but got over the initial awkwardness.
He talks about marriage, moving in together and has told his family about me.

This weekend we went for a meal for their birthday. I had made a big fuss for their day, organising a cake, gifts and took them to a fancy restaurant. I thought he enjoyed it.

He then was talking about some party he is planning to hold, and i said how great it would be to finally meet his friends. He went all sketchy and said how he didnt want that to happen just yet. I asked him why and he couldnt really answer me. He told me he could possibly introduce me once I had a promotion at work so then he could show off my role. (We are both in the same profession).

He then went on during the night saying how I am very full on and he doesnt like it - he wants to wait five years for kids (I don't) and that I should be focusing on my career. He was complaining how I want to get married and he wants to wait. He was the one who bought it all up.

I am so hurt by all of these things. I thought we were on the same page and he just has made me feel terrible. I feel like why bring all of this up on his birthday night... Im not sure how to respond but havent spoken to him since as I am just so upset and done.

Really! When you get promoted! Time to say goodbye. This has warning signs all over it.

Good dick really isn't worth this.

"Hey, think it's time we called it a day, realised we are not sexually compatible, have a nice life x"

Hit him where it will hurt the most
Then block

LEAVE HIM, seriously, I am a therapist and these are red flags you can't ignore.

I want to know what kind of job this fine man does.

The not wanting his friends to meet you is my concern. No matter whatever the made up reason is. He is hiding you and that isnt ever good for you. Could it be that he doesnt really have friends? They are all drug users? Was it a made up party. The 2 nights a week after 1 year causes me to pause too. Thats not love is it. More of convenience. Unless its also the full 12 weeks (or whatever it is of summer hols too, I suppose that sounds more of a commitment) (i didnt read the full thread so not sure of the distance between you - it didnt sound the distance dictated only weekend get togethers).

He is pathetic. You are worth more than this rubbish!

Bye now. Save yourself a lot of heartache. I'd say the same if you were a man whose gf seemed ashamed of him. Screw that.

Leave him.

So many red flags. Cash in your chips ASAP !

This is either someone who has lied about his birthday or he didn't want a big fuss because he didn't want to bump into his real girlfriend whilst out and about. There are so many red flags (speaking from someone who has had similar the bfs happen in the past). Get rid!!!

I have used they, then, theirs since I was little and I'm 41. Dunno why but it just seemed to feel right to me as a person

You’re the ‘other woman’ - these are just excuses

Isn't there an expression these days for someone who is keen one minute and then turns unpleasant? I don't mean a swear word, just a term used for that act. If he's not already in another relationship then he's got his priorities wrong.
As you say he raised marriage he should love and dote on you for the way you are now, anything other than that is wrong and time to move on.

It looks very much as if he’s trying to end your relationship but is hoping that you will be annoyed by his behaviour and end the relationship first. I hope I’m wrong , of course, lots of love and luck to you

I don't know but I have heard many stories about men being very keen, then getting cold feet and backing off. More often than women do.

'Twas ever thus.......The whole situation has echoes for me of a song I learned as a youngster: Soldier, Soldier.

"Oh soldier, soldier, won't you marry me,
With your musket, fife and gun?"
"Oh how can I marry such a pretty maid as you,
When I've got no hat to put on?"

So off she went to her grandfather's chest,
And she bought him a hat of the very very best.
She bought him a hat of the very very very best,
And the soldier put it on.

Many verses and items of clothing later......

"How can I marry such a pretty maid as you
With a wife and children at home?"

So glad you worked out for yourself that this one was a non-starter, and I wish you good luck with your career!

@twoshedsjackson my mum used to sing that to me when I was little.There is a lot of wisdom in old songs.

Dump him.

Congratulations on your job offer, OP! I think you are better off without this walking red flag. I hope you agree.

Maybe he doesn’t have friends? He wants different things. Move on. Someone does not have to do something wrong to break up.

Run. Run fast and don't look back

Move on. He doesn't respect you and you aren't on the same page. Don't waste 5 years, just for him to dump you and go get someone else pregnant and marry them. Then you will regret all this time wasted on him. Don't spend a minute more with this guy.

This kind of plonker isn't compatible with anybody. OP should do a runner now and save wasting anymore time on this moron. He has some serious issues she shouldn't want to get involved with for what it would likely bring on down the line.

Sounds like a total plum. Ditch him :-)

Run! Trust me, it will always be like this. Moody, weird, moving goalposts....