AIBU for leaving my DP's dad's BBQ?

[startinganewforonce]

Just a quick one because I do feel like an AH, but was IBU to leave my DP's dad's BBQ because he picked up burgers to put on the BBQ, didn't wash his hands and was touching everything?! I have contamination OCD and raw meat is my biggest fear. I was getting angry and upset and had to go, DP was mad as we had our two year old with us but I have heard about what e.coli can do young kids and it's a fear of mine..

It’s not about the food, it’s about raw chicken hands handling drinks, door handles, kids toys…. Frankly repulsive

How is your relationship with FIL anyway? I would have just said to mine “Colin could you wash your hands, I don’t want DD getting raw chicken juice in her mouth.”

My dad can be a bit careless with bbq in a way he wouldn’t be in the kitchen, I just remind him to use tongs and ignore him huffing

unkess he bbq his hands and his jeans there the bacteria will stay and spread about

That's normally eaten not smeared on work surfaces plus it's not raw chicken

How does this fix the chicken hands touching dd, the glasses, the salads etc? The meat isn’t the issue- it’s the unwashed hands

Some people are spectacularly missing the point.
I don't have OCD and have a laid back attitude to most germs. But I always always wash my hands with soap after handling raw chicken.
If someone was touching raw chicken then touching my child, I'd be out of there too.

You did well for even going.
One step at a time

Not washing your hands after touching raw meat is disgusting regardless of whatever than happens to the meat. Whether the meat gets cooked or not isn't relevant. Does anyone remember in the 90s, there were adverts specifically about the risks of food poisoning from people being more casual with barbecuing than normal cooking?

It doesn't seem like anyone got sick, the OP would say if they did. I genuinely wouldn't notice what someone is doing when they are cooking bbq, I never think about germs, I never get food poisoning and my kids have reached their teens without ever getting it.

I feel sorry for people that worry about 'salmonella salad' and door handles, it must be shit having that anxiety hanging over you.

You are being extreme, we have germs around us a lot!
when lots are dealing with stuff we can’t control or change ( worsening, changing Parkinson’s and painful) stuff.
i speak for lots, you’re being extreme, and selfish

The food isn’t the issue. Op cooking burgers doesn’t fix him walking round with salmonella hands and jeans touching drinks, toys, handles, salads etc

Mine hasn't. I'm with it for life. I live with it. I'm ok.

This!

It's much more selfish to touch raw meat and then touch other things and people than it is to mind about that!

Some people have shocking hygiene standards

I don't have OCD either and think people who haven't the first clue about hygiene shouldn't be anywhere near BBQs. That includes the people spitting feathers at OP in this thread.

True - I remember a thread where people said they didn't see the issue with taking a knife out of a drawer, using it to open a packet of raw chicken, then putting it back in.

There's no way you can leave a family event like that discreetly. Even if no-one notices you slipping away, the fact that you and your child have suddenly disappeared without saying where you were going, or saying goodbye, is bound to give massive offence.

Trigger warning:
blue light
Probably not suitable for those with contamination OCD

As i said upthread, i have had food poisoning from uncooked chicken. I spent several hours in hospital, had the worst stomach pain ever that needed injections to stop.

I couldn't eat solid food for a week, and it took 2 weeks to be able to eat properly, and a further 6 months to eat everything i could before.

I'm glad you've never had food poisoning, i hope you never do.

Surely the fact some of us have, and its known issue, should be enough for everyone to understand the need for basic food hygiene.

I think you are right not to want to eat at the BBQ (and to keep your daughter safe too).

I had food poisoning many many years ago and am extremely cautious about food prep. Anything that I don’t like the look of is a definite “no” and I won’t apologise for being careful.

OP, would it perhaps have been better to have drawn your DP'S dad to one side, explained that you have issues, and asked him to make a point of washing his hands in between handling the food. You could perhaps then have got him a bowl of water, some soap and a towel, and set it up beside the BBQ, to make his life easier. You seem to indicate that your DP, is reluctant to speak to people if there is something awkward to be said, but you don't seem any better at it than him. If you'd done as I suggested, you could have continued to stay at the BBQ, overcome some of your fears, and made your partner's parents aware of why you were uncomfortable enough to have left. Yet again it seems like a situation that could have been avoided through clear communication. So perhaps, it would be appropriate for you to call on your partner's dad soon, apologise for leaving like you did, and explain about your condition.

A bowl of water isn't going to help it will just be a bowl of germy water after the first use

Why should she? She's not the hygiene police!