AIBU for leaving my DP's dad's BBQ?

[startinganewforonce]

Just a quick one because I do feel like an AH, but was IBU to leave my DP's dad's BBQ because he picked up burgers to put on the BBQ, didn't wash his hands and was touching everything?! I have contamination OCD and raw meat is my biggest fear. I was getting angry and upset and had to go, DP was mad as we had our two year old with us but I have heard about what e.coli can do young kids and it's a fear of mine..

i understand your points @startinganewforonce but me personally id of eaten them,

This is disgusting. I can’t stand it either. He would have touched the buns and handed them over too 🤮.

I probably would have just refused to eat as it’s family.

I have contamination OCD too! I would not have eaten anything! YANBU!

What’s very clear from a lot of the responses, is that most people have very little understanding of OCD. It’s often downplayed as liking things to be tidy, I often hear people saying “I’m a bit OCD” when they like tidy spaces and things in the right place. That is not OCD, it’s a debilitating mental health condition. It’s not as easy as just sit there and don’t eat the food. This would be an awful situation to sit through with OCD which is good contamination specific.
OP I think leaving was the sensible option for you, your partner needs to get a better understanding of what OCD is and except that BBQ’s aren’t the place for you until your therapy is more established. Please don’t beat yourself up over this, it’s a process and it’s really difficult. It’s not like you asked to have OCD, no one would, it’s something you have that massively impacts your life and you are taking steps to try to overcome it.
I hope this isn’t too big a set back for you. I have family with OCD and work with kids with it, I’ve seen how hard it is to cope with. Most people don’t understand how difficult it is to live with.

Some of the responses on here are unbelievable. Shocked at how many people aren’t at all perturbed at this man’s cavalier disregard for food safety, especially where there are children involved!

I have emetophobia and find BBQs incredibly stressful - my heart sinks when someone suggests one. The only ones i trust are ones that I’m in control of!

Leaving without saying anything is more dramatic than making an excuse.
I think you were unkind and whilst I completely understand you not wanting to eat the food I think the way you went about it was wrong.

I totally get it im also a bit OCD on food stuffs, but i would just not of eaten one ( im veggie anyway ) and given my daughter stuff that he hadn't cooked, i definately wouldn't of left.

@startinganewforonce no you weren't unreasonable. Ignore everyone else saying you are. BBQ's are disgusting anyway.

No it's not! E. Coli is very much beef and many other foods. Chicken is salmonella and more often campylobacter

That's disgusting. He should have washed his hands after handling raw meat. Or used a utensil to put them out.

Saying something would probably be better than flouncing out though

I wouldn’t get stressed about the contamination but I fully understand why someone might and I wouldn’t be keen on my young child eating food in that environment.

However:

1. you said you got angry
2. you took your daughter and left rather than just not eating the food
3. you said you didn’t want to go in the first place before this was even a known issue.

Points 1 and 2 are a massive overreaction and point 3 suggests this is not just about the food. On that basis I think you were rude and unpleasant and I’d be very annoyed with you if I was your DP.

You now know what to get FIL for Christmas, a set of BBQ tongs so next BBQ he hasn't got to touch any raw meat & you'll be happy.

I pointed this out too upthread. Salmonella and much more often Campylobacter affects chicken, as you rightly point out. I remember a couple of years ago there was an outbreak of E Coli in Scotland and it was traced back to the mincemeat used to make burgers for a barbecue.

Then you’d have been very ill if you’d eaten something contaminated from handling raw chicken - even the buns for burgers, sausages etc.

there is a percentage, but its not 100 percent certain that i would be, so on the balance of odds

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable.
Your DP is unreasonable.

I just had to add some Braai Broekies to this thread. 😃

Directly translated to BBQ Pants, but they are available in short and long versions.

Made from tea towels so the braai master (BBQer in charge) can wipe as they work.

Going by this thread I assume many here will not approve 😂

Love it.

But there are some MNers who don't put knickers & tea towels in the same wash, so where would they go ?😁

Perhaps they could go on the BBQ towards the end of each grilling session.

Yep, was going to suggest some would burn them

This could be a whole new thread. 😂

But they are shorts. And trousers. Not underwear.

(if this helps the washing debacle at all.... 😀)

Perhaps they could go on the BBQ towards the end of each grilling session

Only a potato or half an onion is required.

They're too big for budgie smugglers, sausage smugglers perhaps ?