I'll start with context, I'm 37, I have 2 children with my ex husband who are 6 and 4, I've been divorced two years.
About 6 months ago I started seeing a man, he's older than I am (49). He told me he has no children, I remember specifically asking. He was married for 15 years but they divorced 4 years ago.
I am 12 weeks pregnant with his child, totally unexpected. I was on the pill, so never in my wildest dreams did I think this would happen. I won't terminate the pregnancy and he has agreed to be supportive and involved.
Last night (bear in mind we are 6 months in) he said I need to talk to you about something. This is when he told me has a daughter, she's 22 in a week. Her mother was a student from France when she was born, neither of them really raised her. 0-4 her mothers parents raised her, then 4-8 she lived with his parents and went to school here, then she started weekly boarding at 8 and full boarding at 11. Weekends and short breaks with his parents, long breaks in France with her mother's family. Her mother passed away when she was 15.
She now is at uni and lives with his aunt in London.
She doesn't call him dad never has but he does provide her with money every month, has always paid her school fees etc.
Now I feel quite flabbergasted that he never told me. He said it never seems relevant as he didn't raise her and she doesn't view him as a dad.
AIBU to think this is a red flag? I don't know what to do now!