Does your dh let you choose decor?

[sunnymountains]

From bed covers to wall paint, furniture, curtains, cushions dh will choose the lot and with no pink or anything remotely feminine everything is blue or very male looking.
I grew up with my mum mainly choosing the home furnishings but then my dad had no interest in anything like that so was happy to leave her to it and wouldn't have noticed anything different anyway.
I do think it's nice he takes an interest but I'd like some input, every room in our house is blue and masculine looking and as a woman I'd like some of my own touches.
Is this a bit unusual?

My DH doesn't 'let' me do anything. I just do it.

'Let me'??

That sounds good but he would undo it and choose what he wanted.

My DH has no interest whatsoever in how we decorate the house, I make all the choices. Tbh I’d quite like a bit of interest now and again but he just lets me get on with it and I’ve accepted he doesn’t really care.

Do you mean he won’t let you choose? Cant you say you want to pick things together?

I tend to take lead but he will occasionally get something that he's seen and liked. He doesn't have much interest though and leans towards comic book/horror themed stuff, whereas I'm less interested in tat so sort out stuff like painting and decorating, usually I consult him but I have been known to wait for him to start playing a video game and just quietly repaper a wall.

My husband just leaves me to get on with it. He's really not that bothered.

I do sometimes "let" him choose between two items, just to "let" him feel he's part of the decision making process. But it'll be two things that I really like and would have no objections to either.

My OH and i go together and between us choose things we both like if one of us says no then we look till we find one that we both like

So if you were to paint a room, he'd paint straight over it?! Without a conversation?

Let me? Absolutely not. I lead on it, and in the event that we don't agree on something we compromise. It's your home too?

I did once wallpaper our downstairs loo in a very pink patterned paper while he was out for the day, which he hates but I've told him he's welcome to paper over it or redecorate if he feels that strongly about it. Hasn't happened yet 🤷🏻‍♀️

The only thing dh chose here was a patch of fake grass!! He leaves house stuff to me. Happily.

my DH doesnt LET me do anything... if i want to do something i will do it, i will consult him on how he feels about things but i don't need his permission!

Did you move into the bachelor house that he was living in already? Are you a SAHM with no income? Even if both apply, it’s still unacceptable. You should both have input into your living space? He sounds very selfish & domineering.

You mean he’s a horrible bully?

I pick any order nearly everything, I might run something past him occasionally. It's not that he's not bothered he's just less bothered than me, hence the ugly grey wall he picked in the kitchen is now a beautiful pink.

Is he controlling in other ways too?

Yes if he thought it looked feminine and if I bought some cushions or something he'd return them for some he wanted.
Even a small ornament.

‘Let’?! No, we just have a normal discussion where one of us will say “I’m thinking X for this room, what do you reckon?”

But we had a conversation when we bought our house that I could do what I liked in the house and he could do what he liked in the garden. So we have a lot of pink in the house 🤭

And how do you react when this happens?

We discuss together, but tbh I care more than he does, so tend to "win". Only because he looses interest through.

So we'll agree to decorate X room. I say, I quite fancy this or this. He'll say, I don't like one of those, the other is ok, but not sure about an aspect. So I'll take that into account, spend weeks thinking and looking at things, show him again and he'll be like "sure whatever you want"!

We do the actual work together though, and he always tells me it looks great when we're done. (Whilst admitting he couldn't imagine what it was going to look like!)

How odd. We discuss things and decide together. Sometimes one of us gets our own way over the other but generally we agree on the final outcome and as a result have a house that is decorated to both our tastes.
Never ever ever would either of us overrule the other, that’s really worrying behaviour.

My DH is similar to yours OP. We've lived together for over 20 years now, and I have become a bit more forthright as time has gone on but he likes things 'plain' so doesn't like anything floral for example even cushions, bedding or pictures on the wall. I have started to buy slightly more feminine items as time has gone on.

Have you tried standing up to this man?

Nobody "lets me" do anything in my own house!

He claims I can do whatever I want with the house. However, when I go to actually do something, he makes it very clear he hates the idea and that I can’t possibly do what I had planned.

it took us years to agree on a shade of paint for our bedroom even though I quickly acquiesced and agreed to his general color. He was eventually arguing against himself and it still took months.

First post nailed it