Does your dh let you choose decor?

[sunnymountains]

From bed covers to wall paint, furniture, curtains, cushions dh will choose the lot and with no pink or anything remotely feminine everything is blue or very male looking.
I grew up with my mum mainly choosing the home furnishings but then my dad had no interest in anything like that so was happy to leave her to it and wouldn't have noticed anything different anyway.
I do think it's nice he takes an interest but I'd like some input, every room in our house is blue and masculine looking and as a woman I'd like some of my own touches.
Is this a bit unusual?

Op that is not normal or okay.

A house should be a home that's comfortable for both of you.

I couldn't live in a house that I had no say over.

He's got issues and you've got a problem

He's controlling and unbearable. LTB.

My husband did try and choose some of the designs in our house, but I told him to stop being a big fanny and stick to cutting the grass! In your particular case I would probably buy several tins of pink paint in different shades and throw them at the walls. He sounds disgusting!

Really random... Is he a Leo by chance?

I choose, DH facilitates 😂.

We discuss and both of us have to agree.

DH does the decorating and usually comes up with the colours (especially as I have no interest whatsoever in DIY) but if I really don't like his suggestions, he drops them. Trouble is, he then asks me what I would prefer and I can never think of an alternative.

As for 'letting' me do something? As if! That's not normal - we're not in the Victorian age.

This ^

It’s interesting that the only two colours you’ve mentioned are blue and pink, they both seem a bit lacking in imagination and very stereotypically gendered.

I would never choose blue in my house as it’s quite a cold colour, and I want my home to feel warm. I like warm neutrals, terracotta, and warm greens. Having the whole house blue sounds awful. I wouldn’t be keen on most shades of pink either. Maybe you’re going for styles which are a bit over the top “feminine” / gauche? Could you do a bit of exploring for other colours and styles that you both agree on? You’re well within your rights to expect a change from the blue that you’ve always lived with.

I take the lead on decorating but I’m keen to get agreement from my partner as I want us both to like living here. Your husband should want that for you too.

I just do it and that's it. X

So do you if you think wanting an input over his home environment makes your husband "a big fanny"? Which in itself is just a horrible thing to call someone, as well as being offensive to women at the same time.

I think its normal to discuss and agree together isn't it? Often one partner will care more/have more style and they would take the lead I guess but one person dictating and the other having no say at all isn't on.

Currently renovating a house which Mr Anon would have been happy to paint entirely grey or magnolia. I'm a colour lover so sadly wasted many hours of our lives inspecting virtually identical 'warm' shades as a compromise.

Yes.. it is unusual, and uncompromising. I would have a problem with that. It should reflect both of your tastes.

Sounds like how the decorating works in our houses! I had my cataracts done after he'd painted a huge room and it made the paint look a different, wrong colour. He couldn't face doing it again so got a decorator in. He likes a quiet life.

@AnonAnonEmouse
"Currently renovating a house which Mr Anon would have been happy to paint entirely grey or magnolia. I'm a colour lover so sadly wasted many hours of our lives inspecting virtually identical 'warm' shades as a compromise".

This is where having a colour-blind DH comes in handy,

My dh is colour blind, so leaves it all to me anyway. But even if he wasn’t, there would be no question of ‘letting’!

This is what we do but unfortunately sometimes it takes SO long to decide we get nothing done!

What a horrible controlling man. He doesn't respect you he thinks your contribution isn't worthy of him. How have you not lost it with him? Have you told he's controlling and this abuse?

You need to have a proper conversation about this with him. It doesn't feel like your home...he vetoes your opinions. He sounds so controlling. He needs to hear your feelings on this. What's at the root of this control for him? Controlling folk rarely set out to be controlling, they are controlling something they can control because they can't control something else. That said, If he can't learn to respect you and your opinions...leave. it'll only get worse.

My DH gets controlling when something is stressing him. Once i can get him talking, i can get him to see that the thing is stressing him, and he needs to fix that not control me.

We normally both choose totally different decor, then have to trawl a bunch of shops till we can compromise on something. We so very rarely both like something from the get go.

God don't let him choose anything else!

We make joint decisions about everything we do in the house.

Good point! I bet he's a Leo. They can be control freaks.

My husband would not want to make any decisions about decor at all. He built a media wall in our house, my design, my measurements and at every stage of the build he told me “it’s gonna look shit” until it was built and plastered. Then we went for paint, told him what colour I liked he shrugged and said “get it, but it’ll look shit”. It was painted, coving and skirting put on and he loved it! Posted pics all over social media of his achievement…!! 🙄🤣

^^This

So many of you are spectacularly missing the point.

Wonder where the OP is?