Does your dh let you choose decor?

[sunnymountains]

From bed covers to wall paint, furniture, curtains, cushions dh will choose the lot and with no pink or anything remotely feminine everything is blue or very male looking.
I grew up with my mum mainly choosing the home furnishings but then my dad had no interest in anything like that so was happy to leave her to it and wouldn't have noticed anything different anyway.
I do think it's nice he takes an interest but I'd like some input, every room in our house is blue and masculine looking and as a woman I'd like some of my own touches.
Is this a bit unusual?

Doesn't sound like much

Has he never heard of the word compromise? Aka the thing relationships need to be healthy?

We make the decisions together. Sometimes I want something that he's not so keen on and he'll agree and vice versa. We compromise alot. It's not fair that you don't have any say in the home you both live in. You need to talk to him and put your own personal touch on your home.

I choose and do the research but I would ask his opinion and he can come with me to a showroom or look at it online. If he hated it, I would not do it.

... much of a partnership to me.

We decide stuff together. Or he says he doesn't care and I choose. 😄

Your husband sounds like an arse.

We decide things together, we have different styles so if we each decorated a house on our own they would look very different. But as we share a house, we compromise and most of the house is decorated in a way both of us like, even if it wouldn't all be our first choice.
And his hideous horror film posters all live in in his office and my "weird & kitschy" fruit posters go in the kids bathroom.

He's treating you like a child and he's the patent, his house his rules! Does he even like you? I get not wanting everything to be pink and frilly but come on he's living in his bachelor pad. Like hell would my husband pick out the pram when I'm the one with the baby 24/7 you're being a door mat, take back your home, I would have knocked that crap on the head years ago.

Never pushes the pram ?
Does he do anything regarding the baby - other than impregnate you ?

I would like more of my own touch in the house it looks very much his house.

Your husband is awful, op, and I wonder why on earth you're still married to him. I'm guessing you're starting to wonder this yourself.

Just buy a big bucket of pink paint and mess around any surface he dares to repaint after you originally painted it.
Tell him not to fucking touch your fluffy pink cushions.

Tnh I would not be able to live with someine not ready to compromise. I usually start a war as soon as someone is telling me what I "must" do 🤣

I always discuss it with him and he sometimes has good ideas but I sort it all out.

How is he returning things you've bought? Do you give him the receipt?
We choose decor together. It's both of our homes.
I've never known a man be so into blue Vs pink being man and woman. Usually that's just about baby clothes

Echo above posters. We kind of mutually agree if it'sa major change to decor. If I see something or want to do something, I'll do it and vice versa. It helps we're pretty similiar in regards to decor and stuff.
To return what you say could be even a small ornament you liked, if he didn't like it or was too feminine is a bit mad in all honesty.

Not in OP’s scenario, but the word ‘let’ in general when used to simply describe something agreeing they don’t have an issue with X, Y or Z.

Mostly he has no vision for the finish, won't do any research and has absolutely no DIY skills so I do it. I try to respect that he's much more conservative than I am and listen for things he mentions he likes so I can include him in the space too. Occasionally he has an opinion I just can't get behind or buys something that just doesn't work in a space and we clash over something relatively small that seems big.

You do have to try and compromise if you respect your partner and want them to be happy in a space too.

We choose paint / wallpaper together, but everything else I let DP have the last word on. I just care less about it than she does.

My husband isn't really interested, he knows I wouldn't go too "out there" anyway!

Have you said this to him? What is his response if so?

No-one 'lets' me do anything, I'm a grown woman paying half the mortgage. It's my house.

He doesn't really mind so generally I choose, it's not massively feminine because that's not my style but it's definitely more my taste than his. He's vetoed a few more unusual things over the years, that's all.

Does he restrict what you do in other ways, OP?

Yes, I've got one like that here at the moment. 35 bloody years of his ignoring my choices unless they happen to suit him anyway. Seriously thinking of binning him, he's too much of a control freak and the negatives of staying outweigh the postives of leaving, to me. The prospect of starting again on my own at the age of 70 is invigorating, I've had enough of this shit now!

What has he said when you've mentioned this to him?

@sunnymountains

That sounds so demoralising. I have been on MN for a zillion years and thought I'd heard it all. This is batshit.

What is your financial set up?
Does he control the money/do you have to ask to spend?
Do you have your own money?

Is he like this with your clothes? Or the DC’s?

OP, you don't have a decor problem, you have a major DH problem.

You have no choice and no voice in your relationship. As others have said your husband is controlling you and you have accepted it. Why?

If you have been on mumsnet even just for a few days, you will see from the numerous threads that a relationship should be one of respect for each other and making decisions together that affect you both.

The fact that your husband only ensured your home is decorated to his taste and you have absolutely no input and that he even decided on the pram that you had to use, is very, very sad indeed.

Please start making use of the advice and support on this thread to stand up for yourself and ensure that your voice is heard and opinions considered and used.

If you can't change him, you need to change by leaving the relationship and find someone who cherishes your thoughts and views equally alongside their own.