To say no when asked if sibling can come to party?

[PurplePetalPip]

Hosting DS's 3rd birthday party at the weekend. It's the first birthday we've invited a few nursery friends to. I'm completely bonkers and decided to do it in our garden as thought the weather would be nice enough for a bouncy castle etc.

All in all there are 10 children coming. All around 3. One of the mums has just messaged asking if their son's sister can come too as she has no one to watch her. Sister is nearly 5 I believe.

If we were in a hall I'd probably agree but AIBU to say no in this case? I'm already stressing over having ten 3 year olds running around the garden. There will be additional adults there in grandparents and aunty and realistically one extra child won't take up much room but I just feel like it's cheeky and changes the dynamics. They were very late in responding to the invite - only knew they were coming 2 weeks ago and no mention of additional child then.

If I say sorry, due to space we can't accommodate, I won't really mind if she says the boy can't come then. The issue would be if it's awkward she miraculously finds childcare and comes along!

The thought that a 5 year old could spoil the bouncy castle for 3 year old is a bit hilarious.Im sure he or she can bounce nicely! You get some massive 3 year old anyway,they do vary in size.

I don’t understand how the mother would not be accompanying a 3 year old to the party anyway - so would be there to supervise a sibling.

At least one parent has always accompanied such young children to Gdcs’ birthday parties.

What 5 year olds have you been in contact with 😂😂😂

Im honestly this blunt, id lose no sleep if someone took a huff and didnt speak to again because i told them no 🤷🏼‍♀️
Especially a random parent

I don’t understand everyone saying “what if everyone brought a sibling…”. That’s not the situation. One person has asked, to bring one extra child. I can’t see why it’s such a big deal. So inhospitable.

We had a 4th birthday party for our youngest. I did individual party boxes and gave a choice on the invite. Much less food waste and cardboard can be recycled so not really a waste. I didnt feed adults, why would i? 😂 They werent technically invited, just their child. Thankfully most dropped and left anyway except friends.

I can't quite believe all this angst over an extra kid who is roughly the same age. There are no 'dynamics' of a bunch of three year olds. They will mostly ignore each other. There will be tears, at least a couple will damage themselves on the bouncy castle. Chances are a couple will drop out due to illness anyway and you will grateful to have an extra kid there to make up the numbers.

Kids will be playing with others a few years above and below them at every stage of their life...at the park at school, (at most parties!) and nothing bad will happen.

That’s the issue, the parent needs to accompany so needs to bring the other with them

I'd be fine with this if it's in the garden. I thought you were going to say a venue where you are paying per head. Childcare for other siblings can be tricky to sort.

@otravezempezamos just looked to your name. In the last two days you’ve had no child, one child and two children. So bizarre

I often have to ask this, I have 2 children a year apart and if parties are on a Sunday they either both go, or neither go.

I don't see how any of it is awkward. If she does come with just one, maybe a grandparent had the other child for a bit, but it's just so much easier to take two than drop one at another location first!

Their reason for not answering in good time, could be because of finding care for the sibine. If the e styed to help with the party, you are both winners?

I don't think saying no is rude in any way. I do think the fact mum's asked if she can bring sibling probably means she's no where to leave them. If your child, really want's her invited child there, make it work, if they aren't too bothered. don't!

Message her back saying unfortunately due to lack of space you're limited to how many little ones you can have over. Offer for her to drop her child off so she can take the sibling elsewhere for a couple of hours.

Tell her she can leave the child?

I had someone bring a sibling to a venue that I’d hired, she tried to keep him out of the way but I invited him to join because a child had dropped out and I had a paid for space. Parent was delighted and child had a wonderful time

If it was me I would have invited fewer children in the first place in order to allow space for one or two siblings. We are having a 4th birthday party at home with only a few children but I have included a sibling as my child gets on with both.

As it's a 3rd birthday party the parents will stay, assume the other children are all 2-3 there's no way I'd leave my child at that age. A 4th birthday party, when the children are 3-4, maybe.

What will you do if/when other parents turn up with a sibling in tow? Turn them away?

Your post reads as though you actually can manage this extra child, you just feel annoyed by the request. Be flexible- it’s good to practise that plus you never know when you’ll need a similar favour

With all the people attending, and the extra 10 parents of the kids, whom I'm sure will stay, (not many parents would leave a 3 yo at a party alone).
I'd say yes, it make a difference.
and keeps the peace going forward. Maybe the mum hasn't got anyone to watch the 5yo if herself and her son go to the party.
On the day you'll get a cancellation or 2.
On plus side, usually a few parents help with the tidy up during the party so hopefully you won't be left with a big tidy up after.
For future reference,.it's easier to hire a hall and bouncy castle for a few hours. You won't be left with hangers on in your home after a party.
Just a few things I've learned the hard way.
Have a great party.

I agree. It's not like everyone else said their are bringing a sibling so you can easily accommodate the one. Because it's in your garden and mum will be there to watch her kids, you could be flexible in this situation.
2 weeks notice doesn't seem short. It's a child birthday party, not a wedding!

I think you are fine to say no. Yes it sucks for them but it’s at your house. Plus other parents may feel annoyed they found childcare and didn’t bring older one.
having siblings means you never get to do something by yourself as you always have to take one with you. It’s annoying as you get older and the younger ones need to tag along.
say no if that’s what you want and don’t even feel bad about it

you can’t control their reaction so tough on them

I think it’s dead tight but not unreasonable. I find lack of generosity a bit grating but then again it isn’t my garden or my kids party.