To say no when asked if sibling can come to party?

[PurplePetalPip]

Hosting DS's 3rd birthday party at the weekend. It's the first birthday we've invited a few nursery friends to. I'm completely bonkers and decided to do it in our garden as thought the weather would be nice enough for a bouncy castle etc.

All in all there are 10 children coming. All around 3. One of the mums has just messaged asking if their son's sister can come too as she has no one to watch her. Sister is nearly 5 I believe.

If we were in a hall I'd probably agree but AIBU to say no in this case? I'm already stressing over having ten 3 year olds running around the garden. There will be additional adults there in grandparents and aunty and realistically one extra child won't take up much room but I just feel like it's cheeky and changes the dynamics. They were very late in responding to the invite - only knew they were coming 2 weeks ago and no mention of additional child then.

If I say sorry, due to space we can't accommodate, I won't really mind if she says the boy can't come then. The issue would be if it's awkward she miraculously finds childcare and comes along!

Say no. I've been in your place in the past and deeply regret that I allowed other parents to bring siblings. You allow one and other parents will get upset that they couldn't bring theirs. Different age brackets, mayhem and stress. No one will appreciate it anyway.

I would say yes just to keep a good relationship.

Have had three children with numerous parties that I have hosted and parties they have been invited to . Apart from initial parties that were just friends and their children ,we never invited or expected siblings to be there. It just wasn’t a thing 🙄

Guessing you only have 1 child then!

I would rather be inclusive than spend a fortune on party bags. It all goes in the bin after 5 minutes anyway. Just redistribute a few bits.

As for individual boxes for party food - what a waste of cardboard if it's in your own home. And don't you feed the parents too?

@WickieRoy I'm aware of that, I work Saturday mornings. My dh would ask if he could drop one of ours off and join the party to keep an eye on dd1 or ds when I got in from work but ours are at the stage where it's drop and run. At age 3 where they would need supervising sometimes they did miss out. My mil is our nearest family and she simply wouldn't want to do childcare on a Saturday morning. If it was an afternoon party then one of us would go. That's just the reality when you have a parent that works weekends and more than one kid.

Very late in replying, 2 weeks ago? Lol thats not very late at all

As a single parent of two children with a 2 year gap, I'm really glad no parents I know take this stingy mean attitude otherwise neither of my children would ever be able to go to any parties

But an extra sibling doesn't need a fancy party bag (well neither does a 3 year old guest)
Just get a bag of sweets to give out to siblings

How is she a CF?!?! She may be a single mum whose child is excited to go to the party but she has nobody to watch the sibling! Some of us really don't have any available childcare you know. Some of us are widowed with no local friends or family!

Woman after my own heart ☺️🥳

@Spirallingdownwards

If you are not invited you don't to get ask if you can come or add people. No I am not catering for random uninvited siblings nor am I handing them party bags as I bought for invited guests only. Not invited don't gatecrash. Up to you what you do.

Fucking hell. Imagine going through life being this spiteful, cold & cruel. What a miserable life. Imagine being like this as a parent....makes my blood run cold just thinking about it.

I always expect a sibling or two, the more the merrier, particularly is the sibling is close in age as they're all likely to know each other from school etc. I always get enough party bags to give to siblings even if they don't come to the party but come along at drop off and pick up too.

Always room for another one next week if you’re free?!! We’ve got a bouncy castle and disco ball straws ( and DH and I have ti dress up as barbie and Ken apparently 😂😂😂)

I honestly do think that we all see our parents in us…..mine were generous and open armed with my friends, I’m the same with my children’s friends.

I see some children and look at their parents and you can understand why the children are mean spirited. It’s very sad .

It wouldn't bother me as the child is not too much older and she asked in advance.

But also fine to say no if you don't want to

Why? It is not a baby sitting service

When your 3 year old gets to school age and is upset by something at play time, would you like an older child to be there to give them a hug and cheer them up?

I would.

Which is why I would say the 5 year old can come and make an extra sandwich/sausage roll.

Your answer reflects the community you want around your child as they grow up - do you want people who restrict the number of people allowed into their life (and therefore exclude your child), or do you want people who are caring and generous?

My husbands works weekends so I often have to ask this question. I couldn't care less though if the parent said no sorry we can't accommodate. But I'd rather ask than say DC isn't available.

Just be honest and say you can't accommodate an extra child.

Just say no as you had to turn down other similar requests and it wouldn't be fair. It is CF to ask this as it's not a venue and someone's home.

@Iwishicouldflyhigh what are disco straws?

I’d say yes. It’s a shame for a kid to miss out because their parent can’t find childcare.

Seems so mean to refuse. What is she supposed to do? Tell her son he can’t go? I can’t believe some posters are calling her a CF.

yes. you can't always go to everything. my DD can't be left alone at parties but she's old enough now that they're all drop off ones. I don't ask if I can tag along, we just don't go.

Well you can explain the situation and ask if you can join. Some parents may say no but others will say yes. By not asking your child may be missing out unnecessarily.

Not sure lying is the way forward - especially if all the other other kids are only children 😆