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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be in tears over my autistic DS's exam results?

450 replies

SelkieSeal · 22/08/2024 09:42

DS is 14, he's autistic and hasn't been in full time school since 2018 when he was excluded from mainstream primary. At the time, I honestly thought he would never be able to go back to school, his trauma from lack of support and inappropriate restraint was so deep and the violent meltdowns he was having multiple times a day were terrifying. I genuinely believed he would end up in residential care at one point. The only school in the county that said they could meet his needs was 45 miles away, and even then they admitted that they couldn't offer him more than a basic academic curriculum or an appropriate peer group as most of their students had profound LD whereas DS is very bright.

I went to every workshop and training course I could find on SEN law, took DS for independent assessments of his needs to find out what was really going on and what he really needed in order to succeed, and got him an EHCP and then a funded place in a nearby independent specialist school (specialising in children with school related trauma).

He started off going to school for an hour a week in 2019, and half the time I ended up having to take him home early as he wasn't coping. Since then, he's very slowly built up to 3 full days a week last year and he will be doing 4 days from September when he starts Yr 10.

The school are very much led by the child's interests and so have started teaching DS Latin and Greek because he showed an interest in classics (I blame Percy Jackson 🤣). They suggested he sit the intermediate certificates in both languages this summer to give him some experience of exam conditions and to give us an idea of what special arrangements he would need for his GCSEs so we could get things in place. We made very little fuss over it and he took it in his stride (he was the only candidate so it was very chill).

He just got his results and he's got A* in both Latin papers (87% on one and 94% on the other) and a Distinction in the Greek. I'm crying, he's gone back to painting Warhammer models looking baffled by my level of emotion, there's nobody else around to share this with and I don't want to brag on FB like a wanker so I'm doing it anonymously here instead!!

OP posts:
Greeeg · 23/08/2024 21:31

You are a wonderful mother.
well done to you both. Couldn't have done any better ❤️

DisabledDemon · 23/08/2024 21:32

Fabulous news! Star

mumtumtru · 23/08/2024 21:33

This is such a lovely post to read, I was smiling as I read it! Good for him and you :)

LionelMushroom · 23/08/2024 21:35

Amazing grades; really pleased for you both.
I can only imagine how hard you’ve had to fight for him and I’m delighted you’ve found something that he’s interested in, that he excels at and an environment that he’s more comfortable.
Congratulations all round!

tommyhoundmum · 23/08/2024 21:41

Well done both of you.I can see he has a career ahead of him in MI5. They love classicists.

scotvic · 23/08/2024 21:45

This news made me feel very happy, well
done to him and to you!

MintyNew · 23/08/2024 21:45

I LOVE threads like these. Well done to your amazing and inspirational boy and to you mom! ❤️

ButtonNoses · 23/08/2024 21:55

Wow! Well done to your son and well done you mum! So pleased for both of you! Brag as much as you can wherever you can!

Gcsunnyside23 · 23/08/2024 21:58

That's amazing op. I thought I was coming to give you support as you're upset but that brought a tear to my eye to see how well he did. And well done you for fighting for him

Mygrandkidsaregreat · 23/08/2024 22:08

Well done to your DS and well done to you!
without you he could have been very frustrated,but you’ve fought his corner all the way,you deserve to be very proud!

AtomHeartMotherOfGod · 23/08/2024 22:34

That's brilliant - I'm so pleased for you and him! X

Glittertwins · 23/08/2024 22:42

That's awesome, well done to him!

Tavimama · 23/08/2024 22:44

I am an exams invigilator, and this is my favourite time of year - when I find out how well the SEN teens I have worked with, throughout the exam season, have done. It is by far the most rewarding job I have ever done - and to read how well your DS has done, has put an enormous smile on my face. I know just how hard you have worked to get him where he is - and the support that has gone into making it possible for him to achieve such fantastic results. Well done you, and well done to your DS. 💐🏆

Isitreallythough · 23/08/2024 23:03

Absolutely awesome ☺️

Imy06 · 23/08/2024 23:31

That is amazing! ⭐️⭐️ Congratulations to your DS! And well done to you for fighting so hard to get him there. What a lovely good news story 😊

Mamanyt · 24/08/2024 00:31

HE may not understand this news, but we do. And, it is a validation of all the hard work you have put in, finding the right place for him, pursuing every avenue to help him. You enjoy your happy tears. I'm shedding a few for you, myself.

Zoomattheinn · 24/08/2024 00:42

One amazing mum. You've fought to make your son’s life better and in doing so you’ve made the world a better place. Kudos to you. 💐❤️

JohnSt1 · 24/08/2024 03:14

I'm in awe -of both of you. ❤

thicklysettled · 24/08/2024 03:21

Many congratulations to your son and to you! Wonderful news!!

Firethehorse · 24/08/2024 03:38

Congratulations!!!!!!
Well done to both of you! I’m so happy for you both in this glorious moment. You’ve also given hope to so many parents and I really admire your broadcast restraint.

Veryverycalmnow · 24/08/2024 04:28

This is so good to hear. Thanks for sharing this brilliant story

Londonrach1 · 24/08/2024 04:58

Wow that's amazing. X

Ukrainebaby23 · 24/08/2024 06:48

Shows what can be achieved with determination and appropriate direction.
Fab news. Made me smile.

gregaliara · 24/08/2024 07:40

You should be so proud and hell yes you should boast about this everywhere you go. Probably in front of him if you think its appropriate. Congrats.

Barney60 · 24/08/2024 08:29

Amazing, and congratulations both of you, your hard work has paid off along with your sons school and staff and especially your son, well done!

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