Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be in tears over my autistic DS's exam results?

450 replies

SelkieSeal · 22/08/2024 09:42

DS is 14, he's autistic and hasn't been in full time school since 2018 when he was excluded from mainstream primary. At the time, I honestly thought he would never be able to go back to school, his trauma from lack of support and inappropriate restraint was so deep and the violent meltdowns he was having multiple times a day were terrifying. I genuinely believed he would end up in residential care at one point. The only school in the county that said they could meet his needs was 45 miles away, and even then they admitted that they couldn't offer him more than a basic academic curriculum or an appropriate peer group as most of their students had profound LD whereas DS is very bright.

I went to every workshop and training course I could find on SEN law, took DS for independent assessments of his needs to find out what was really going on and what he really needed in order to succeed, and got him an EHCP and then a funded place in a nearby independent specialist school (specialising in children with school related trauma).

He started off going to school for an hour a week in 2019, and half the time I ended up having to take him home early as he wasn't coping. Since then, he's very slowly built up to 3 full days a week last year and he will be doing 4 days from September when he starts Yr 10.

The school are very much led by the child's interests and so have started teaching DS Latin and Greek because he showed an interest in classics (I blame Percy Jackson 🤣). They suggested he sit the intermediate certificates in both languages this summer to give him some experience of exam conditions and to give us an idea of what special arrangements he would need for his GCSEs so we could get things in place. We made very little fuss over it and he took it in his stride (he was the only candidate so it was very chill).

He just got his results and he's got A* in both Latin papers (87% on one and 94% on the other) and a Distinction in the Greek. I'm crying, he's gone back to painting Warhammer models looking baffled by my level of emotion, there's nobody else around to share this with and I don't want to brag on FB like a wanker so I'm doing it anonymously here instead!!

OP posts:
Helpimfalling · 23/08/2024 15:32

Bless you both.
You've done a lot for him.
Well done x

beentheresolong · 23/08/2024 17:40

That's absolutely amazing. I would be crying too. Well done him!

Itsinyourhand · 23/08/2024 17:50

You’re both amazing. Absolute inspirations. It’s made me cry too. This means so much ❤️

FlappingMadly · 23/08/2024 17:58

Fab, fab, fab! Well done your DS and you, for fighting for him. I feel teary too. What an achievement.

Colinsaunty · 23/08/2024 17:59

Brag away! I'd rather see people celebrating success instead of giving me lectures on their illnesses (real and imaginary) , their visits to the doctor/hospital
"You ok hon?"
"I'll DM you"
and boring the fuck out of me.
Well done young man x

Crikeyalmighty · 23/08/2024 18:03

Just wow!! Brag away proud mum!

Sharptonguedwoman · 23/08/2024 18:04

Well done to your boy!

EmeraldDreams73 · 23/08/2024 18:05

That's such a lovely post to read, huge well done to your ds. And also to you - as always, you've had to fight to get him into the right place but there couldn't be clearer vindication than his happiness and success at what he enjoys. Good luck to him for the next stage of school.

TreacleMoon · 23/08/2024 18:07

Massive congratulations from a fellow ASD parent.. You should be very proud of yourselves!
This is a shining example of what can achieved (when Local Authorities are simply ready to write our Autistic students off) every ASD student has potential, they just need the right support to get there..

Plus, you should also be on the parents panel for your LA (if your time ever allows for it) you'd be brilliant!

pitzi · 23/08/2024 18:09

I never respond on here, but I felt compelled to. That's because you have done an astounding job. The fact that you have no one to share the news, exemplifies how lonely, isolating and all encompassing this has been for you... you have worked so hard, and the impact education will have on his life is enormous. Your son exelled under very difficult circumstances. You ought to celebrate each other's efforts together.

Together you are a force to be reckoned with. Your foresight, tenacity, and determination have paid off. Be very proud of yourselves. Celebrate, cry, laugh together,. Whatever is necessary. You have every right to any emotion you care to express. I'm so happy for you.

pitzi · 23/08/2024 18:11

Pardon my grammatical errors...I can't see well and i can't edit them for some reason...

anon666 · 23/08/2024 18:13

What a wonderful story. Thank you for sharing this 🙏

bobster31 · 23/08/2024 18:15

Well done you, well done your son and well done school!

Kjpt140v · 23/08/2024 18:15

I wish your son the very best for the future. Well done mom. xx

Ilovecleaning · 23/08/2024 18:15

I teach Latin. Gold medals all the way, you lovely person!! 🥇 🥇🥇🥇🥇🥇🥇🥇

Oopydoops · 23/08/2024 18:18

He's amazing, and you're amazing. You saw his worth and you fought for your child. And I'm delighted. Boast away!!

Toptops · 23/08/2024 18:19

Fantastically well done him!
And you,for your perseverance x

Sometimesright · 23/08/2024 18:20

SelkieSeal · 22/08/2024 09:42

DS is 14, he's autistic and hasn't been in full time school since 2018 when he was excluded from mainstream primary. At the time, I honestly thought he would never be able to go back to school, his trauma from lack of support and inappropriate restraint was so deep and the violent meltdowns he was having multiple times a day were terrifying. I genuinely believed he would end up in residential care at one point. The only school in the county that said they could meet his needs was 45 miles away, and even then they admitted that they couldn't offer him more than a basic academic curriculum or an appropriate peer group as most of their students had profound LD whereas DS is very bright.

I went to every workshop and training course I could find on SEN law, took DS for independent assessments of his needs to find out what was really going on and what he really needed in order to succeed, and got him an EHCP and then a funded place in a nearby independent specialist school (specialising in children with school related trauma).

He started off going to school for an hour a week in 2019, and half the time I ended up having to take him home early as he wasn't coping. Since then, he's very slowly built up to 3 full days a week last year and he will be doing 4 days from September when he starts Yr 10.

The school are very much led by the child's interests and so have started teaching DS Latin and Greek because he showed an interest in classics (I blame Percy Jackson 🤣). They suggested he sit the intermediate certificates in both languages this summer to give him some experience of exam conditions and to give us an idea of what special arrangements he would need for his GCSEs so we could get things in place. We made very little fuss over it and he took it in his stride (he was the only candidate so it was very chill).

He just got his results and he's got A* in both Latin papers (87% on one and 94% on the other) and a Distinction in the Greek. I'm crying, he's gone back to painting Warhammer models looking baffled by my level of emotion, there's nobody else around to share this with and I don't want to brag on FB like a wanker so I'm doing it anonymously here instead!!

You just made me cry! That’s fantastic! my grandson is seven and has autism he is bright like a little sponge and has massive meltdowns when over simulated.
When he is interested in something he fully commits. At the moment it’s the human body and what it can do!
it’s worrying how he will cope in the future but you have made my day with your news x

ThistleTits · 23/08/2024 18:24

@SelkieSeal fantastic. Brightened my day. Well done in persevering on your quest for your son's education.

Trishthedish · 23/08/2024 18:25

How very very very brilliant. Well done him and well done you for advocating for him. You should be so very proud 🥂🥂🥂🎉🎉🎉👏👏👏

Couchpotato3 · 23/08/2024 18:28

Wonderful news. My (almost certainly neurodivergent but not formally diagnosed) DS is an ancient languages fanatic. He found his tribe in the Classics world and there are many others out there with similar mindsets. Your son might enjoy the classics summer schools run by The Classical Association.

Perhaps he might like to study some other languages in due course - Ancient Egyptian, Babylonian, Persian, Classical Arabic.... the possibilities are endless!

Babyworriesreal · 23/08/2024 18:31

I feel ridiculously proud of both of you!

fortheloveofgumball · 23/08/2024 18:32

Your son has a bright future ahead of him, guaranteed he will excel in what ever he takes an interest in. Be proud OP 💐

FootieMama · 23/08/2024 18:32

Congratulations to you both!!! Thanks for sharing your lovely news😊

Xmasxrackers · 23/08/2024 18:33

Have the biggest lump in my throat,
well done to you both xx