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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be in tears over my autistic DS's exam results?

450 replies

SelkieSeal · 22/08/2024 09:42

DS is 14, he's autistic and hasn't been in full time school since 2018 when he was excluded from mainstream primary. At the time, I honestly thought he would never be able to go back to school, his trauma from lack of support and inappropriate restraint was so deep and the violent meltdowns he was having multiple times a day were terrifying. I genuinely believed he would end up in residential care at one point. The only school in the county that said they could meet his needs was 45 miles away, and even then they admitted that they couldn't offer him more than a basic academic curriculum or an appropriate peer group as most of their students had profound LD whereas DS is very bright.

I went to every workshop and training course I could find on SEN law, took DS for independent assessments of his needs to find out what was really going on and what he really needed in order to succeed, and got him an EHCP and then a funded place in a nearby independent specialist school (specialising in children with school related trauma).

He started off going to school for an hour a week in 2019, and half the time I ended up having to take him home early as he wasn't coping. Since then, he's very slowly built up to 3 full days a week last year and he will be doing 4 days from September when he starts Yr 10.

The school are very much led by the child's interests and so have started teaching DS Latin and Greek because he showed an interest in classics (I blame Percy Jackson 🤣). They suggested he sit the intermediate certificates in both languages this summer to give him some experience of exam conditions and to give us an idea of what special arrangements he would need for his GCSEs so we could get things in place. We made very little fuss over it and he took it in his stride (he was the only candidate so it was very chill).

He just got his results and he's got A* in both Latin papers (87% on one and 94% on the other) and a Distinction in the Greek. I'm crying, he's gone back to painting Warhammer models looking baffled by my level of emotion, there's nobody else around to share this with and I don't want to brag on FB like a wanker so I'm doing it anonymously here instead!!

OP posts:
rubesmum · 23/08/2024 18:33

What an incredible achievement, so well done both of you. X

Havinganamechange · 23/08/2024 18:34

That’s amazing, what an achievement, well done to DS and to you mamma bear xx

missfliss · 23/08/2024 18:36

I haven't RTFD so no idea what ( if anything?) has unfolded ( or not?)

But OP ....YAY YAY YAY

genuinely delighted mum of ASD boy (13) xxx

Packetofcrispsplease · 23/08/2024 18:36

Absolutely brilliant 🤩 well done ! 👏

missfliss · 23/08/2024 18:36

Gah RTFT even ...

Still utterly delighted to read this

Literallywingingit · 23/08/2024 18:40

That’s such wonderful news! Congratulations to you both! 😊🤩 I would be putting it up in capitals all over Facebook, your amazing son has earned it!

Fixx · 23/08/2024 18:41

That’s such great news! Well done to you both xx

Isthiscorrect · 23/08/2024 18:57

Wow that's absolutely terrific news. Well done to both of you.
Have yourself a well deserved celebration.

TeaPlzx · 23/08/2024 18:58

I must say, when I saw the title I expected quite a different outcome to this. It brought a tear to my eye to read. Very pleased for you and your DS, OP.

Newname2308 · 23/08/2024 18:58

Fantastic! Well done to him and to you. It’s brilliant that the school is supporting this learning - I hope he enjoys taking the subjects further, and maybe even discovering other ancient languages.

Rockhopper81 · 23/08/2024 19:00

This is amazing news - well done mum and son!!

And if ever there was proof that it is the environment that stops autistic people reaching their full potential, rather than the autism itself, this is it. 🙃

(Coming from an autistic adult, late diagnosed, that was effectively bullied out of a career when it was disclosed that I was autistic - suddenly simple accommodations couldn't be made any more)

Wokeuptired · 23/08/2024 19:07

That is brilliant, my son couldn't even sit a single exam but he has got a place in college, we are taking things slowly with him as he gets anxious very easily, I just wish I could hug him. I hope your son let's you hug him as im so made up for you xx

liverpoolgal82 · 23/08/2024 19:10

Fantastic! Well done. Took my son out of school at age 8 and he’s had a mixture of home ed small classes, online classes and 1-1 arts award tutor over the last eight years and today he enrolled in college and was put up to a higher level- was so so proud after his struggles and after my years of doubting (sometimes) if I’d done the right thing and today I was at peace that I had as I’m certain his mental health would be v v low if I’d forced school, the environment just didn’t suit him and his needs. He was a very depressed 7/8 year old with sky high anxiety.
Was v impressed with the organisation today and how they will cater for his needs.

Well done to us all for fighting as hard as we could for them to get them to the next stage of life and giving them the tools to be able to make a living. So so happy for you.

Silver777 · 23/08/2024 19:16

Bri

Silver777 · 23/08/2024 19:16

Brilliant 👏👏, Congratulations!

StinkerTroll · 23/08/2024 19:19

Percy Jackson had a lot to answer for 🤣 I've got a 15 year old considering a classics a level for exactly the same reason! That is amazing news, congratulations to him

MrsHamlet · 23/08/2024 19:22

Very many congratulations to your son!

I learned a lot about warhammer this year from one of my students :)

SelkieSeal · 23/08/2024 19:23

Wokeuptired · 23/08/2024 19:07

That is brilliant, my son couldn't even sit a single exam but he has got a place in college, we are taking things slowly with him as he gets anxious very easily, I just wish I could hug him. I hope your son let's you hug him as im so made up for you xx

Well done to your son, hopefully the college environment works for him and he thrives ❤️

OP posts:
rachandfinn · 23/08/2024 19:25

Amazing news, huge congratulations! 🥳

SelkieSeal · 23/08/2024 19:25

liverpoolgal82 · 23/08/2024 19:10

Fantastic! Well done. Took my son out of school at age 8 and he’s had a mixture of home ed small classes, online classes and 1-1 arts award tutor over the last eight years and today he enrolled in college and was put up to a higher level- was so so proud after his struggles and after my years of doubting (sometimes) if I’d done the right thing and today I was at peace that I had as I’m certain his mental health would be v v low if I’d forced school, the environment just didn’t suit him and his needs. He was a very depressed 7/8 year old with sky high anxiety.
Was v impressed with the organisation today and how they will cater for his needs.

Well done to us all for fighting as hard as we could for them to get them to the next stage of life and giving them the tools to be able to make a living. So so happy for you.

That's fantastic to hear!

If only it didn't all have to be a fight every step of the way 😩

OP posts:
Mumtobabyhavoc · 23/08/2024 19:25

Thank you for sharing! This has brought tears of happiness from me to you! 🩷🩷🩷

Hazey19 · 23/08/2024 19:26

That’s brilliant! Well done to both of you ❤️

Washingupdone · 23/08/2024 19:27

Congratulations to you both 👏🏻

SelkieSeal · 23/08/2024 19:28

Thank you to everyone who has posted such kind words, I didn't expect quite so many replies 🤣 I just wanted to burst with pride somewhere anonymously!!

And to everyone who has to fight similar battles for their children - well done, you're all fucking superstars ⭐

OP posts:
Starlightstarbright3 · 23/08/2024 19:29

You have every right to be proud as punch .. I wish your post could be read out in parliament and let the Mp’s understand one size does not fit all but look what it can do

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