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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be in tears over my autistic DS's exam results?

450 replies

SelkieSeal · 22/08/2024 09:42

DS is 14, he's autistic and hasn't been in full time school since 2018 when he was excluded from mainstream primary. At the time, I honestly thought he would never be able to go back to school, his trauma from lack of support and inappropriate restraint was so deep and the violent meltdowns he was having multiple times a day were terrifying. I genuinely believed he would end up in residential care at one point. The only school in the county that said they could meet his needs was 45 miles away, and even then they admitted that they couldn't offer him more than a basic academic curriculum or an appropriate peer group as most of their students had profound LD whereas DS is very bright.

I went to every workshop and training course I could find on SEN law, took DS for independent assessments of his needs to find out what was really going on and what he really needed in order to succeed, and got him an EHCP and then a funded place in a nearby independent specialist school (specialising in children with school related trauma).

He started off going to school for an hour a week in 2019, and half the time I ended up having to take him home early as he wasn't coping. Since then, he's very slowly built up to 3 full days a week last year and he will be doing 4 days from September when he starts Yr 10.

The school are very much led by the child's interests and so have started teaching DS Latin and Greek because he showed an interest in classics (I blame Percy Jackson 🤣). They suggested he sit the intermediate certificates in both languages this summer to give him some experience of exam conditions and to give us an idea of what special arrangements he would need for his GCSEs so we could get things in place. We made very little fuss over it and he took it in his stride (he was the only candidate so it was very chill).

He just got his results and he's got A* in both Latin papers (87% on one and 94% on the other) and a Distinction in the Greek. I'm crying, he's gone back to painting Warhammer models looking baffled by my level of emotion, there's nobody else around to share this with and I don't want to brag on FB like a wanker so I'm doing it anonymously here instead!!

OP posts:
PinkyFlamingo · 22/08/2024 09:44

Aw lovely OP well done to him and will done you for never giving up

pinkyredrose · 22/08/2024 09:44

Wow that's amazing ! Congratulations DS!

Icedblondeoatlatte · 22/08/2024 09:44

That’s excellent news OP! ❤️

Dearg · 22/08/2024 09:45

Aw that is fantastic ! Well done to your amazing son, and well done you for advocating so hard for him!

Reading this brought a tear to my eye❤️ Tell him Congratulations from a random stranger who also loved Latin
Ad altiora tendo

Augustisnearlydonesogoodbyesun · 22/08/2024 09:45

Bloody hell that's amazing!! Now you need to learn them so he has someone to chat with!!

OneInEight · 22/08/2024 09:46

Many congratulations to your ds. Just goes to show that when the support is right our children can achieve.

user1492757084 · 22/08/2024 09:46

That's sweet! Congratulations to him.
Does he have some interesting plans for a celebration?

DDivaStar · 22/08/2024 09:46

Thats amazing...

TerfTalking · 22/08/2024 09:46

@SelkieSeal I have just shed a few tears, this is bloody awesome for you and even more for him. Massive congratulations. 👏

Ratfinkstinkypink · 22/08/2024 09:46

Fantastic results. You have been a fantastic advocate for your child, fighting his corner every step of the way and that takes enormous strength and determination.

Lovelyview · 22/08/2024 09:47

That's brilliant! I think you should post on Facebook anyway. Well done to your son but also well done to you and your son's school.

Cocothecoconut · 22/08/2024 09:47

Oh wow 🤩
well done that’s truly fab 🙌

Cluborange666 · 22/08/2024 09:47

Excellent!

Maria1979 · 22/08/2024 09:48

Well done, you and your DS!!!🫶

ArdMhaca · 22/08/2024 09:48

gosh that is fantastic news. Amazing boy and amazing Mum

Houseplanter · 22/08/2024 09:49

That's just brilliant. Well done OP and OP's son x

tobeamockingbird · 22/08/2024 09:49

That is amazing!! A huge congratulations to your DS 🥳

purplepandas · 22/08/2024 09:49

From one mum of an autistic 14 year old who loves classics, I am crying with you. My daughter is also out of school, EHCP etc and havings classics lessons. Wow, what a superstar. You both rock (for supporting your DS and just giving him what he needs). Bucking out of the system is so hard and SEN fighting is all encompassing. Huge huge congratulations!

NiggleNoggle · 22/08/2024 09:49

That is so wonderful to read. Well done (both of you!).

Americano75 · 22/08/2024 09:50

Get on Facebook and brag like fuck! I'm so happy for you and him, I'm tearing up.

SingingSands · 22/08/2024 09:50

That is such fantastic news 🤩

SelkieSeal · 22/08/2024 09:51

purplepandas · 22/08/2024 09:49

From one mum of an autistic 14 year old who loves classics, I am crying with you. My daughter is also out of school, EHCP etc and havings classics lessons. Wow, what a superstar. You both rock (for supporting your DS and just giving him what he needs). Bucking out of the system is so hard and SEN fighting is all encompassing. Huge huge congratulations!

ND kids do seem drawn to classics somehow don't they!? Wishing your DD every success, hopefully you find the right place for her to thrive ❤️

OP posts:
arethereanyleftatall · 22/08/2024 09:51

I just punched the air in happiness. Fab op.

EliflurtleAndTheInfiniteMadness · 22/08/2024 09:52

Well done to you both for persisting, that's a hard fought victory. Thank you for sharing, it's always lovely to see stories like these. What a wonderful outcome. I don't know what your resources are monetarily or energy wise but you deserve to celebrate this in some way, it's your victory too.

BronwenFrideswide · 22/08/2024 09:52

Huge congratulations to your son and you@SelkieSeal for your determination and perseverance to get him what he needed.

Such a lovely, heart warming good news post. Well, well done to both of you.

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