Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be in tears over my autistic DS's exam results?

450 replies

SelkieSeal · 22/08/2024 09:42

DS is 14, he's autistic and hasn't been in full time school since 2018 when he was excluded from mainstream primary. At the time, I honestly thought he would never be able to go back to school, his trauma from lack of support and inappropriate restraint was so deep and the violent meltdowns he was having multiple times a day were terrifying. I genuinely believed he would end up in residential care at one point. The only school in the county that said they could meet his needs was 45 miles away, and even then they admitted that they couldn't offer him more than a basic academic curriculum or an appropriate peer group as most of their students had profound LD whereas DS is very bright.

I went to every workshop and training course I could find on SEN law, took DS for independent assessments of his needs to find out what was really going on and what he really needed in order to succeed, and got him an EHCP and then a funded place in a nearby independent specialist school (specialising in children with school related trauma).

He started off going to school for an hour a week in 2019, and half the time I ended up having to take him home early as he wasn't coping. Since then, he's very slowly built up to 3 full days a week last year and he will be doing 4 days from September when he starts Yr 10.

The school are very much led by the child's interests and so have started teaching DS Latin and Greek because he showed an interest in classics (I blame Percy Jackson 🤣). They suggested he sit the intermediate certificates in both languages this summer to give him some experience of exam conditions and to give us an idea of what special arrangements he would need for his GCSEs so we could get things in place. We made very little fuss over it and he took it in his stride (he was the only candidate so it was very chill).

He just got his results and he's got A* in both Latin papers (87% on one and 94% on the other) and a Distinction in the Greek. I'm crying, he's gone back to painting Warhammer models looking baffled by my level of emotion, there's nobody else around to share this with and I don't want to brag on FB like a wanker so I'm doing it anonymously here instead!!

OP posts:
Hoppinggreen · 22/08/2024 10:52

Thats lovely, thanks so much for sharing and well done to DS (and you of course)

SelkieSeal · 22/08/2024 10:52

Ansjovis · 22/08/2024 10:49

Well done to your son. I am also autistic and when I was a teen literally everyone in my life gave up on me achieving anything academically or even being able to live independently. I'm now in my 30's and I have both a degree and a full time career and I also own my own home outright. Not intending to make your thread all about me, just wanted to add some more encouragement to anyone who may need it, whether they are autistic or a parent of someone who is. No matter which side of this situation you are on: never give up! We don't function in exactly the way that the majority expect but that does not mean we cannot achieve.

That's amazing to hear, I hope you're proud of yourself ❤️ I'm not autistic (well, I'm not diagnosed) but I don't have a degree, a career, or my own house 🤣

OP posts:
user8634563290 · 22/08/2024 10:53

Well done junior SelkieSeal!

LaMadameCholet · 22/08/2024 10:54

That’s such brilliant news, well done you for being such a superb advocate, and to your DS - Gratulatio successu ac labore!

Comefromaway · 22/08/2024 10:54

A huge congratulations to your son

Sausagepickle123 · 22/08/2024 10:54

Well done to your amazing DS!! Fantastic!! And well done to you for all the support you’ve given him and got him to enable him to do this. From another SEN mum who has fought all the battles too and understands what you might have been through xxxxxx

Bex268 · 22/08/2024 10:58

My autistic son is only four but I can only imagine how amazing this must feel 🤗 well done to you both! It sounds like he has a very bright, very positive future ahead of him.

BlueyDragon · 22/08/2024 11:01

That is amazing @SelkieSeal, you have every right to cry, celebrate, do whatever you feel is appropriate right now. Brilliant achievements from both you and your son.

Been there, done that with AuDHD DD. She is a history nut and is working towards her A-levels now and university but 3 years ago I would have told you she was never leaving the house again. There are still challenges every day but the difference of a school that really truly flexes to your child is priceless.

Cantabulous · 22/08/2024 11:01

That’s fantastic OP, congratulations to you both! I’m delighted for you. It’s such a shame that we struggle to tell people about our successes because we don’t want to brag….

Windymoore · 22/08/2024 11:02

Congratulations to your son, but also to you. You're a cracking mum👍

SevernWonders · 22/08/2024 11:04

Fabulous! Well done Master Selkie.

Needanewname42 · 22/08/2024 11:06

Bless you Op. Well done for never giving up. You should be proud of you too.

Conkersinautumn · 22/08/2024 11:06

Awesome. As someone who did Classics GCSE and really tried to get my head sound the language elements. Bloody epic!

CuriousGeorge80 · 22/08/2024 11:09

What a beautiful post and a wonderful success - huge congratulations to both your son and you. You sound really incredible and should be very proud.

Gagagardener · 22/08/2024 11:09

Very well done indeed.

Trinity65 · 22/08/2024 11:09

My first thought was Wow

YANBU , You have every right to be proud of your DS
Those results are outstanding

Thiswayforward · 22/08/2024 11:10

Well done to him! I’m glad he has gone back to warhammer. Sometimes you just have to follow your interests. Well done to you to! Similar story here!

NavyTiger · 22/08/2024 11:10

Yay wonderful

LakieLady · 22/08/2024 11:10

Those are amazing results, OP, your pride is entirely justified!

Latin is hard enough, which is why I only did it to O-level, but Greek is incredibly tough (which is why I didn't do it at O-level😁). I hope he carries on with both, he's clearly damn good at them.

HighCholesterolHorror · 22/08/2024 11:10

Well done to your ds!! What an amazing set of results!!

EI12 · 22/08/2024 11:10

Amazing, amazing, amazing. Full of admiration for both of you and the people who helped. Rare, rare! Don't have the appropriate words to express how wonderful it is to read it.

Seaside1234 · 22/08/2024 11:11

Huge congratulations to him, and to you for fighting so hard for him. What fab news, I would shout it all over the place!

bellylaughter · 22/08/2024 11:12

What amazing results. You are right to be proud. Well done to your son and to you!

LateAF · 22/08/2024 11:12

Congratulations! I'm so happy for you! Sometimes I think my part time job is crying for strangers on the internet 😭

I really hope you make time to celebrate your son's incredible achievement - and also all your efforts and support getting him there. Thanks for sharing.

Mostlyoblivious · 22/08/2024 11:13

❤️

Swipe left for the next trending thread