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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Was my husband unreasonable? Maintenance

254 replies

lifeuniverseeverything · 21/08/2024 19:52

My DD has a friend she's known since primary. This girl has lived at our house for months while her mum was travelling and they're inseparable. Both got into university.

Friend's parents are divorced. Acrimoniously. Her dad was supposed to pay maintenance and child support but his previously highly profitable company suddenly/ mysteriously found itself making no money so he's paid nothing.

Mum working 2 jobs hence the travel.

DDs friend gets a maintenance grant but not a full one because of her dad's previous income. Her mum is barely holding on so DH and I discussed things and decided to take both girls university shopping for stuff today, and we'd pay. Friend was very grateful and happy.

We stopped for a coffee (in a retail park) and who should park in a space in front of us but friend's dad and his new girlfriend. Anyway he sees DH (initially not me, DD or friend) and moseys on over to say hi. This is where the AIBU comes in. DH shook his hand, got introduced to the girlfriend and then said loudly "Very sorry to hear about the business failing. Must have been such a shock. Any time you fancy a pint (on me!) let me know. Also, don't worry about (friends name). We love her and are happy to get all her university stuff for her". Girlfriend froze, he froze, it was funny and awful at the same time, then he saw DDs friend and scarpered.

This is the was husband unreasonable question. Friend loves her dad. She hadn't seen him for ages and was really hurt when she saw him vanishing. I think DH should have just zipped it and perhaps he'd have stayed and spoken to his daughter who ended up quite upset.

DH is bullish and said "the man's a c*#t and I'm happy I embarrassed him".

OP posts:
millymoo1202 · 28/08/2024 10:46

We need more men like your husband in the world

ScartlettSole · 28/08/2024 18:25

Another team DH vote here.

I totally agree, the mans a c**t and i hope the new gf chucks him for being a shit father.

OhYeahOhYeah · 28/08/2024 22:42

lifeuniverseeverything · 22/08/2024 09:13

Thank you to all who commented. I did tell DH. He's pleased with himself and I've apologised for saying he should have zipped it.

Some developments last night. Husband called friends mum and had a go at her for badmouthing him to people! Seriously. You couldn't make it up. Anyway he then tried to use his upset at being badmouthed, alongside vague threats to "tell the children the truth" (what truth? He's delusional) to try and bully her into expediting the divorce and finalising the financial order later. It's taking a long time because she's had to hire someone to forensically look at his financial situation.

Anyway he was so weirdly insistent about getting divorced that she got off the phone and went all Poirot on his ass. Via another friend she found a screenshot from the girlfriend's social media ABOUT THEIR WEDDING at the end of the year. They've sent out save the dates and presumably paid deposits etc. His kids don't know. Anyway this is glorious m, as now she can insist on the financial order before the divorce, and if he wants his wedding he'll have to be a bit more amenable.

If he'd been less of a cock she'd never have found out...

Wowzers, what a monstrous shit that man is!

Hope your friend gets the detail she needs, to nail his ballsack to the wall!

Takingusthebingoonhisbus · 28/08/2024 23:12

I think your DH sounds bloody fantastic.

Men calling out other men for shit behaviour and shit parenting needs calling out more often imo.

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