Thanks for taking the time to write a comprehensive reply.
I guess I just don't understand why some people obsessively focus on this area when there are so many other much more prominent risks. Like, you're much more likely to die driving to work and you can't tell which drivers are maybe still over the limit from a heavy night before.
I know some will see it as whataboutery but I think it's a fair point. The cynical side of me thinks that a lot of women just like an excuse to bash on men in a not dissimilar way to people that like to justify racist attitudes - e.g. every time there's a stabbing they say "oh, it's the future doctors and lawyers again" or banging on about millions spent on hotels for asylum seekers whilst pensioners have their winter fuel payments removed, etc. I think in many cases both parties likely believe their arguments and there may be some points in there to a degree.
Where it falls down for me is that the people always moaning about men never really seem to look at any other demographic/dynamic than male/female. Despite the majority of violence being committed by a minority of men, I don't see an innocent male as any more culpable than an innocent female or any less a victim. It's certainly not his fault because he was born male because that's almost like victim blaming/prejudice.
Another problem of only ever viewing issues from male/female perspectives is that it's just too broad. When we broaden the category to 'men' we can somehow implicate white financial accountants from Kensington in honour killings taking place in Muslim communities in Rotherham - it's male violence and they're men after all. Same with things like FGM that aren't white western practices.
Similarly, feminists can use the royal 'we' and talk about the things being done to 'us', when in reality a white middle class professional woman is extremely unlikely to ever have to worry about FGM. Not that it's not a wider societal issue that we should care about, but there are other dynamics at play. Race and religion are in many cases stronger identifiers than sex, and a black or Muslim woman will often feel more kinship with men of her own race/religion than with the white feminists who speak on her behalf using the royal 'we'.
You only have to look over to the Black Mumsnetters section to see the scathing indictments of 'white feminism'. That's why I'm always a bit hmm when it's always about male/female. It has its place in analytical theory but in many cases white women are as much the other as white men. So when white feminists get on their high horse about, for example, knife crime. When they start saying "oh, it's all male violence....men are the problem", they ignore important racial aspects like the role of white people in the root causes of the racial inequality we see today.
So when they start with the arguments that men as a group need to stand up and fix the problems their demographic contributed to, they ignore a lot other aspects like the issues their own demographics have contributed to - as white people, as privileged middle class people, etc. And often they absolutely don't want to address or acknowledge these other dynamics which is why we usually see such an indignant reaction to the slightest mention of white feminism.
This is only really scratching the surface but it's part of why myself and many others find the whole 'man = bad, woman = good' rhetoric so tiresome. Obv not all men and not all white feminists.